I met this female after awhile she quit her job due to her mom and dad getting sick..I bought a cabin and I am trying to give her the world. It seems that every other night her neice wants to come over and drink..Her neice stole everything out of her house.I mean everything including her hot water tank..You name it it was taken.The reason is cause her ex owed people some money..It seems that the only thing she wants to do is loose her temper and break things cause I Do not want her niece waking us up every other night wanting to party..What should I do?? Should I drop her?? Or how would I get her help since we are not married..What should I do??
2007-11-28 23:44:23 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
first off, congrats on moving on so quickly. Second, you have to have some back bone babe. yes you may want to give her the world, but you also need to protect her from herself and even her family if you have to. Why is the niece coming over? Is you lady inviting her- or leaving an open invitation for these frequent visits? Second is it possible to put a lock down on the liquor cabinet- i would not start off by putting a band the niece, just locking up the liquor may deter the frequent noisy visitations unless she brings her own booze. If that doesn't work i would then maybe bring it up gently to your love, that you are having trouble sleeping at night because her niece is so loud. (now this may result ina few quiet nights , but not an exclusion of the niece) If all else fails talk to her about how you feel, but tread lightly- she is after all her blood, her family and if her parents are ill then her emotions may be raw and she may be feeling a need to have her family close no matter what the risk. Lastly, ask your self my dear- if you love her so much: what are monetary things in the face of providing her with the comfort of having her (though intrusive, thieving & loud) family to simply be there in a time when she needs them to be nearby and even present? Just keep in mind what matters most to you- and make sure you keep enough money stashed in a safe or a bank (anywhere but your home- where if she does rob you blind in the night you can replace you stuff- and maybe your love will wake up, but till then indulge her if you can- because i know you, and that is what you want .. is to be there for her and to make her happy. That is what i admire about you most- i hope you two are happy and that this thing with the niece works out. XOXO
2007-11-29 01:03:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well there is only so much you can do for someone and it sounds like she isnt putting as much into the relationship as you are. Be honest with her and tell her that her niece is causing some tension and ask if she could not stay so often. See her reaction and work out where you lie as a priority for her. Try to work out whether she is really into you, or what you can provide her. If you arent getting what you want from the relationship, then drop her. Good luck
2007-11-28 23:50:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you bought a cabin and you're living with this girl you met. Now her niece is stealing all the stuff in the cabin...both hers and yours?! Change the locks, if she has a key. Talk to the woman you're with, let her know that this is unacceptable and even though the girls family, you don't want her coming over anymore due to things coming up missing. Let her know that she can go visit with her, but you don't want the girl in your cabin. If she cares for you and appreciates what you're doing for her, she'll agree. If not, you really need to try harder to talk to her or decide if she's really what you want. Good luck.
2007-11-28 23:50:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends on how much you love her, if you think she is the one, maybe talk to her about her niece.. maybe make some ground rules and tell her you dont want her niece coming around all the time..
If her ex is the one who owes money, why isnt he paying his debts? surely she should make a stand with these people whom he owes money too and tell them that they need to see him, not her...
If none of that works, maybe you should cut ties with her and move on with your life.
You can only do so much to help a person and if its making you unhappy, you've got your answer right there
Good Luck!
2007-11-28 23:51:22 · answer #4 · answered by Inquiring Mind 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how you feel.........Be a man. Just b'cause you are not married doesn't mean you have to be a pu**y, but you don't have to be an a**hole either. Just say, Honey this hole thing with you niece has got to stop. I can't have her coming over here every night waking me up and destroying our house and stealing all of your stuff. Just b'cause she is your niece doesn't mean you have to let her. See speak your mind just be a gentleman about it.
2007-11-28 23:59:29 · answer #5 · answered by nana_14 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Exsplain that you want to give her the world and not her neice.If the neice wants to come visit fine,but no more partying.If she doesn't like it she will either get over it or tell her she needs to go.
2007-11-29 00:04:13 · answer #6 · answered by lollypop 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't allow the niece over ever again... if this woman loves you, she won't mind you standing up to her niece... good luck! if she throws a fit, and lets the niece over even once more, yes, you should dump her =(...
2007-11-28 23:48:42 · answer #7 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
these women are taking advantage of you and your good and kind nature.
you need to find a woman who loves you and shares things with you, it sounds like they both have problems and you are not the one to sort them out.
do you want a mixed up life like you have now, or a happy life?
2007-11-28 23:51:36 · answer #8 · answered by blue_lagoon 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her she has lost her damn mind if she thinks you are going to allow a drunken thief in your house. Tell her if can't understand this, she might as well put a sign out front that reads, "Take all my ****. I'll help you carry it out."
2007-11-28 23:52:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
alanon will help her. There is meetings all over the world.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
2007-11-28 23:50:42 · answer #10 · answered by Ria J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋