I have low confidence and my worry about what people think about me is ruining my life. Help?

Question

I'm shy and feel like I'm always being judged. I constantly think about the interactions I have and what the other people think of me. I'm worried they'll embarrass me.

Answer 1

just imagine this. youre going to die and someone might care, but after a few years have gone by nobody is going to remember your name or how you lived. just live life and enjoy it your way cause when youre dead and gone nobody is going to care.

Answer 2

While the usual answers to this question would probably be to 'believe in yourself' or perhaps even 'stop comparing yourself to others', these are both human traits that we cannot overcome directly.

If you were to believe in yourself, you'd need a direct reason to do so. A nicely put together outfit or a well done task should usually suffice but what's really important is a certain sense of *********. No, I'm not saying to be cocky in general, but just to be that way about several aspects of your personality which you know, or try your best to see as being your strong suits. While the simple way of putting this is thinking you're God, the specifics are where its efficacy lies.

Try this on for size: Wake up one morning and immediately begin thinking about what your best quality is and do a bunch of exercises or activities to show that off. I personally enjoy singing, so I'll sing a few tough rifts just before I go out to give myself a little boost. If you're a good basketball player, shoot a few rounds in the yard. If you can paint, give that a shot or maybe just do some sketching on your way to wherever you're on to.

The key is to know what you're good at and to keep reminding yourself of it, especially when you feel that you might not compare so fairly against others, because honestly, you're usually cooler than you think. Unless you're Ali G of course!

My spiel is over. Back to work now. ;)

Hope it helps dude.

Answer 3

Once you are confident in yourself you will worry less. The only way to become more confident in something is to do it more even if you are bad at it at first. Yes sometimes it will be unintentially embarrasing, and sometimes people will be intentionally trying to embarrass you or make you feel worse about yourself.

Every interaction is a learning experience whether you realize it or not, one with both ups and downs, even though you think you are not learning anything about people and just keep making the same mistakes, you really probably are.

Answer 4

You will overcome your shyness as you grow older. Forget about what people think of you, don't worry. They normally can't do you any harm and the world and society change daily and soon you'll be moving to an other place a new and better paid job with new people around you. If you are among lunatics you will sooner or later be a lunatic your self. The life is going on constantly meanwhile you are standing still wondering about things and people which pass you.

Answer 5

looks like we have a same problem..i even shy to interact in yahoo answers(even to look the asnwer for my question)i'm afraid of being underestimated.but that's what we called life.the only way to overcome this is DO IT.i have a low self-confidence too,but i simply said to myself 'if you dont do it,everybody will know you as nothing and you will lost all the opportunities.'and i end up being a debater.
well,if you shy to start to do it,show your talent.and maybe you can do social works.when you mingle with people who are more unlucky then you(i.e:handicapped),you might feel 'i'm still lucky'..your confident will rise up.you will appreciate your life and the people around you.and guess what,unlucky people usually gives more.their advices are precious,b'coz they can see life better than us.
one more thing,if you don't want to be underestimated,then dont underestimate other,dont talk behind their back.

p/s:i still have that feeling but i will never let myself going down the drain.never(be determined about yourself!)

Answer 6

Are you worried that other people will embarrass you or that you will embarrass yourself? AS for worrying about what other's think of you, Why what will how they think of you change your life?? Will it pay your rent? Buy your food? Clothe you? Make or break your career? I'm sure that some people might have that ability but 98% of them don't have that power. That's what you have to remember that most people don't have any real chance to change your life so why care what they think?? Most of what other's think doesn't really matter to you as it can't and won't change your life!! Remember that and it won't be so important. You should care about what you think not others.

Answer 7

I have this problem too, well I have Asperger's Syndrome, a form of Autism, like I have a hard-time interacting and keeping up a conversation with people, especially with girls since thats why I haven't pulled any pussy yet. Like I'm afraid of socially interacting with people sometimes because I'm afraid I might accidently annoy them by asking too many questions, well i'm only asking the questions to start a conversation.

Answer 8

This is well known in psychoanalysis. It is a symptom of mysterious sense of guilt. You keep asking yourself; have i been nice enough with them? have they liked me? I think they are annoyed... etc. Actually the solution is almost simple.

You need to be aware of what you are doing, and feeling during your encounter with others. At the same time, you should ask yourself; what does this or that person mean to me; why should i worry if s/he is annoyed or not?

Probably you will find that they are a projection of your own parents. and that you are acting before them as if you are before your parents. this is the source of feeling "judged".

Answer 9

The more judgmental people tend to be, the more likely they also suffer from a lack of confidence. There is no reason to beat yourself to death over every mistake you make. Most people obsess over their own mistakes more than they obsess over the mistakes of others. Those who concentrate on the short coming of others tend to be the least confident of all, and they pick on others to build up their own self esteem. Forget about these types of people that constantly want to put others down, they are jerks, and no one likes them. Remind them of this, and they will leave you alone.

It is good to be humble and strive to improve yourself, but at the same time it is important to also be able to forgive yourself for your mistakes, and concentrate on the good things that you do. There is a fine line between lack of confidence and over confidence. Learn to walk that line, and you will accomplish great things in your life.

Answer 10

Well if your really bothered by them think about this. Logically speaking they know nothing about your personal life, i.e. (the things you hold sacred and will take to your grave) and no one is perfect. Remember that if you be yourself, you will make an honest impression. And an honest impression is better than a Great Impression. Don't try to go out of what you would normally do to please someone else. If they don't respect you for who YOU are, then there is no need for them to be your friends. Unless it's a girl your willing to die for, and she better be a good one! lol but seriously, Of course we all get jokes told about us, but when it all boils down to it. Just be yourself, and the ones who like you regardless of the flaws you may have are you true friends.

Answer 11

Change yourself! Be confident. Put into your mind that you know yourself better than anybody else. Never care what others might say or thought of you, as long as you didn't do anything wrong to anyone. Don't worry, be happy! Be optimistic. You have to help yourself. Move on, follow your dreams. Challenge yourself for a brighter tomorrow.