Please help. I married with my boy friend one year ago . We were friends. i knew that he started to go out with a friend when we were friends . i asked him to cut our friend ship but he said that i love you and i can't . the girl called me severl times and said that they are just firend and there is no relation ship between them. after passing 6 months we married and theycut their friendship . but now i found that my husband is looking to find her web site on 360 or other sites. he has their e-mail and tel. no but never called or e-mailed them he just want to see their web site . i suffer when i see that he is doing this and think that he didn't love me that always is searching his previous girlfriends. I'm totaly deppress and don't know what to do. is it better to say him what i feel or no ?. please help me .
2007-11-28 18:42:14 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Lilian, I think he is probably just doing it out of morbid curiosity. I know sooooooooooooooooooooo many people who look up their exes MySpace pages all the time. JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY. Hell, I am guilty of it. I am completely 100% smitten and in love with my husband and I still looked up a few of my exes just to see if there were any profiles on them. It is just fun to take an innocent stroll down memory lane. You are obviously very secure w/your relationship since you have no doubts that eventhough he has her # and email that he hasn't called her. Don't be depressed about this. I know it is not right to look up exes, but with all these new sites making it so easy to find people. Don't sweat it too much. Just keep your eyes open and if it appears as though contact is being made and he does not tell you about it then I would start to worry. Good luck and good
2007-11-28 18:58:22 · answer #1 · answered by whatshername 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Becuase he is married and no longer happy. Too bad you didn't have the following facts of life before you got married now you will have to learn the hard way:
1. There is no Santa
2. All men cheat, almost all women cheat
3. Marriage sucks (moving in is the same as marriage)
4. Everyone lies (you even lie to yourself)
5. Life is not fair
Good luck and Happy Holidays. Email me
if you want honest answers from a man that doesn't
lie anymore.
2007-11-29 02:39:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it's heartbreaking and just plain rude of him to be so insensitive to your feelings on this. Unfortunately though, the best thing to do is not always the easiest thing to do, and the easiest thing to do is not always the BEST thing to do.
What I mean is, even though it will be hard, the best thing for you to do is to just love him and not nag him about it. Don't fuss too much because it isn't going to make him want to stop, it will make him want to do it more. If he wants her, or if he wants to cheat on you with her, (God forbid!) then nothing you can do can stop that. If he loves you and doesn't want that, then nothing SHE can do can change that. Basically I am saying that if he wants to do that, it is not because of YOU, it's because of HIM. And you can't stop him. Trying to stop him will only make your relationship more strained. Feeling sorry for yourself will only make you miserable, it won't affect either one of them at all.
If I were you, I would get a hobby. I would paint pictures because that is what I like to do. Or if I was sad I might take a bubble bath, or go get a candy bar I like, or take a walk. I would do something to take care of myself and make myself happy because nobody else will. If your husband wants to be with you he will be with you. If not, then he won't. Don't let that decide how you feel though. Don't let that decide what you do today. Take care of yourself, and you will find that doing that makes you much more interesting than her. Isn't that the mystery of her right now anyway? What is she doing?
What if while he was searching for her he discovered that you had treated yourself to dinner and a movie without him? Where did you go? Why did you leave? (because you felt lonely, or just wanted to get out and he seemed busy)
Live and let live. Live your life, and let him live his, and hopefully you two will soon meet together again and live together. Marriages are weird, sometimes things like this happen and we don't really know why. Just learn from it now and it won't keep happening.
2007-11-28 18:57:50 · answer #3 · answered by princessdemeesa2 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is not God fearing. First be so(if you already are not) & make him so too slowly. His actions are objectionable but do not make a noise. Go along with him on weekliy sight seeing at beautiful romantic places a little away from your residence & say what you have in your heart at secluded places with full of your controllable emotions. Ask him to feed you in hotels at night too frequently. Have enough sex with him more than what you do now & when he finishes ask him, "Once more." Do thrice daily at least. He will fully forget all those so called invisible bogus friends.
2007-11-28 19:08:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You poor thing! You can't suffer like this! You need to get this issue sorted out asap....Please don't plan children or move forward in this relationship until you are sure your husband is committed! (Marriage counselling may help you both) Otherwise you will have to give your husband the ultimatum; either you get him to commit to you 100% or move on in your life and find another man who will love and respect you.. but don't rush into anything..get yourself into a good space first...respect and take care of yourself...
2007-11-28 19:21:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he truly loves you then he would not be looking for his ex girlfriends all the time. My opinion is that you should tell him your feelings and then go from there after you have talked. Remember communication is the best thing to have in a relationship.
2007-11-28 18:50:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he's looking for her addy out of morbid curiosity but this still does nothing to bolster trust in him. I do suggest that open communication without outright accusations or finger pointing is a good thing. You can start with, "I just found out that your looking for so and so, can you tell me why? I makes me feel _____ when you did this and I don't like to feel this way." Then let him explain but if you have proof present it to him and let him know that your on to him so he can't talk his way out of it but hopefully apologize and find a way to make you feel safer in your relationship.
2007-11-28 19:36:44 · answer #7 · answered by Becky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what are u stressing about? He's not even talking to her for goodness sakes. A man will look at other women or even talk to his exes. You don't trust him and its never gonna work without that. ive been married three years and he has women friends even exes but i know withut a doubt that he will never stray. you have to get over this jealousy!!!!!!
2007-11-28 18:57:12 · answer #8 · answered by monika31687 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say talk to him, tell him how you're feeling and find out how or what he is feeling. Honesty is the best policy. Good luck!
2007-11-28 18:54:45 · answer #9 · answered by J M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she may not have feelings for him but he obviously still feels something for her. other than that he has no reason to have to find her. i love my girlfriend very much so i have no desire to know about my ex's. good luck
2007-11-28 18:49:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋