i am married and there's this guy at my office that i really like alot. i like him even before i got married. and i still like him. i am planning to give him a christmas gift. is this wrong?
2007-11-28 18:09:30 · 21 answers · asked by ~Amor~ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I always say in a situation like this to put yourself in your husband's place. How would you feel if there was a female who your husband had been "into" since before you guys got married and he gave her a Christmas present? Imagine him shopping for something special for her and finding the one thing that made him think of her and buying it to give to her. I think it would hurt you, right? If you love your husband and want your marriage then I would suggest you invest you thoughts and time on picking out a special gift for your husband. Don't tempt faith and do not play with fire. You do not want to start something that you can't finish and you certainly should not be thinking about infidelity. Have a great holiday with the man that you said your vows to.
2007-11-28 18:22:51 · answer #1 · answered by whatshername 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i dont think it's wrong at all. i mean giving a christmas gift is one thing but cheating on your husband is a whole nother ball game. as long as the guy knows this is a gift of friendship and nothing more then there is truely no harm. however, if your giving this gift as more than a friend you should probably rethink your marital committments and ask your self what u want and whether u r truely in love with your husband or this guy and you need to find out the other guys fellings and not prolong the hurt that u will cause your husband if something does happen.
2007-11-28 18:17:39 · answer #2 · answered by ACM 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not necesarily wrong to give a co-worker a christmas gift, what's wrong about the situation is that you are liking this person this much and your married. Maybe you should re-think your entire situation. And as a woman, going through a divorce, why would you go into a marriage with one man, while having strong feelings for another?
2007-11-28 18:18:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
keep in mind that people can read into even the tiniest things like giving a xmas present. now if its a completely innocent thing then i guess its ok as long as you make sure he knows that there is NOTHING else involved. but my personal opinion is you need to stop "likeing" this guy entirely. you're married. and that means that you forsake all others, no matter if you liked them BEFORE you got married. you got married for a reason and you need to make that your focus. not some stupid high school crush with an idiot you work with. you need to like and love your husband. if you dont then you need to get a divorce so he can find a real woman.
2007-11-28 18:21:25 · answer #4 · answered by abominusprime 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean by "gift"? Are you talking about sex? Then you know it's wrong. If you mean an ordinary gift, like a tie or a pair of slippers or whatever normal gift, it's not exactly wrong but it is certainly inappropriate. For one thing, your intentions could easily be misunderstood.
2007-11-28 18:23:58 · answer #5 · answered by Pagan Dan 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is he the only one you are going to give a gift to? Are you giving it to him because you like him? If they are yes then it is wrong. If you are gift giving with others then it is not.
2007-11-28 19:42:06 · answer #6 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably not wrong, but don't let it get out of hand. Your marriage and your committment to your husband should come first. It's ok to have male friends even if you are married. But it is trouble if you think you have to have these friendships in secret, for example.
2007-11-28 18:14:19 · answer #7 · answered by Chris 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that depends on the gift and the intention you have in giving it to him.
Don't give him anything too personal, it may be misunderstood. Keep it simple.
If it's platonic, then there is no problem giving a coworker a gift.
Happy Holidays!
2007-11-28 18:13:32 · answer #8 · answered by Tauri Athena 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes - it is wrong - it will keep your "affair" going and give it a boost. Wish him Merry Christmas and leave it at that - friends. If you take it further it may lead to an affair and disaster for your marriage and your job and perhaps his life.
2007-11-28 18:16:45 · answer #9 · answered by sweetpicker 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ya, it gives a bad impression. As in, you give him a present, then you two start talking, then you cheat, then you feel horrible for ruining your marriage....
Don't do it. It's not worth it.
"Dont leave the person you love, for someone you like, because they will leave you for the person they love"
2007-11-28 18:16:08 · answer #10 · answered by Love Life <3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋