I need help with my parents and step daughter??

Question

Ok, well I have asked many questions about my step daughter. And have gotten alot of very helpful advice. I need alittle advice about her and my parents.

I need to know if it would be wrong not to allow her at my parents house.Shes 10 years old.Shes only known my parents since she was 8.And we do not have full custody.

Every single time she is at my parents house and my Grandmothers house, she is very disrespectful, rude, mean, and very destructive of THEIR home. They have been very good towards her.They invite her over to go swimming and include her in the family.Last year at Christmas she said to them"Thats all you got me?" And got really mad, and pouted.She refuses to listen to them and THEIR rules.She says mean and rude things.She feels she can do whatever she wants.The last time she was there,she ran through the house with muddy feet,tore apart rafts for the pool,and told my cousins they dont belong there, that they should leave.CONTINUED>>>>>

She will go right up to my brothers and hit them.And she will not stop whatever shes doing when shes yelled at.She makes messes all over their home.I feel bad for my parents, She REFUSES to listen to me, thats a whole other issue.But my parents are so stressed out when shes there,they cant deal with her.They really havent said anything but they do not want her there.They do say shes out of control and someone needs to disapline her.Shes the same way with me,like I said thats a whole other issue. But even my 80 Grandmother she direspects.I took her to my Grandmothers and sh started snooping through her stuff, and running around yelling.Shes 10, its not like she 5.I dont know what to do about that.I want to tell my husband I WILL NOT take her anywhere and nobody wants her in their home.Ive talked to him about it,and nothing is done.Shes not with us fulltime.And is left to do as she pleases at her Moms.How do I handle this situation. Its getting worse,and NOBODY wants her in THEIR home

Should I tell my husband I refuse to take her anywhere until he can control her and teach her respect,because believe me,Ive tried to show her everything,respect mannners, good behavior, etc. But when her own parents dont do anything, than whatever I do is undone.

I also have a 5 month old to care for.

Peggy S

She is failing every class in school.Her Mom wont give custody.

Answer 1

Hard to help when your husband is a MAJOR part of the problem. Until he decides to parent there is little you can do alone. Good luck.

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Yes you need to tell hubby you refuse to take her anywhere. Ít sounds bad but it seems he's dumping her on you to take care of. Refuse to do it until mhe takes a more active and prominent role as parent in her life. You are her step mother and you seem to be going above and beyond but he is Dad and is doing nothing. I wouldn't do it, at least not all the time. DO NOT tell hubby your mom and grandma are to old to deal with her. That is BS. Tell him the truth they don't WANT to deal with her because she is out of control. They did not raise their own children to be heathens and they will not tolerate her in their homes anymore.

Answer 2

This child should not be put in a position to give your parents and grandparents that kind of trouble. If your husband wants to bring her to his parents house, that is just fine, but tell him that your mother and grandmother are getting too old to handle her bad behavior. Tell your husband that they have not mentioned anything, and you are sure that it is because they do not want any conflict with you and your husband. Tell him that it is strictly your idea.

You might suggest to him that he contact an attorney about getting custody of the child, and try to raise her correctly before she ends up in serious trouble.

You could also suggest counseling for him , the mother and the child to eliminate the differences in raising the child. the child is probably confused as to how to act if the mother is allowing her to behave that way.

If she is not having trouble in school, then you know that it is just because of her jealousy.

Answer 3

Being in that situation and I would only tolerate her in my home but would not subject my family to her misbehavior. Heck if my own biological kids acted like that I wouldn't take them.

Your husband seriously needs to see what is going on with his daughter and sit her down along with you and lay down the rules. If she cannot comply then there needs to be a follow-up. Perhaps family counseling may help as well.

I do hope he realizes the seriousness of this since it can become an issue between the both of you.

Good luck...

Answer 4

i would whoop her little ***!!!!! I know shes not your child but you are her stepmother. You need to tell your husband about her being like this and to do something about it b/c if he doesnt you will. Dont take her anywhere when you go to your familys home. When yall go there for christmas, leave her home with a sitter and tell your fam not to get her anything. She doesnt deserve it!

Answer 5

just get tons of excuses and don't go any were any more tray to make her go to her Mather's family Christmas