How to be more positive and happy...?

Question

Well I'm in high school (15) and it just feels kinda weird lately and I feel a little lonely and there is always homework to deal with and classwork and report cards...the high school drama and cliques and trying to fit in is pretty crazy also...I kinda feel like an outcast...I don't have a tone of besties and I've realized I'm different than other people my age and I don't cuss and insult others a bunch and cheat and idk...I feel different and like an outsider at times...Some people might call me a loner...but I just don't wanna hang out with people who are in that cliquey high school mentality...What things are good about this time and what can I do to feel happier?! I DO love my family. Is that all that matters during this time?

TON of besties sorry =)

Answer 1

You are doing fine and I can understand where you are coming from. Being a teenager these days is harder than when I was a teenager. There is just to much peer pressure and drugs going around and you should concentrate on your homework. Join a church group and make new friends. Usually they have always something going on and you will enjoy those activities. It is good that you love your family, because a lot of teenagers at that age hate their parents.

Answer 2

I am 35 and I can tell you what all the people who are my age say. We all wish we could go back in time and tell our high school selves to not take the whole thing so seriously! At the time it all seems so important and so dramatic. The cliques and the clothes and the trying to fit in. But when you get older you realize how laughable it all is. The only thing you should be focusing on is just being yourself and getting a good education. Because in 15 years, most of the hot guys will be divorced with beer bellies, the popular girls will be 20 pounds over-weight with 4 kids, and nobody is going to care who the hell they were in high school. All the guys I thought were great in high school come into the place I work at now. And I just think "Thank God they didn't give me the time of day!" Cuz they are all such losers now!

You are so much better off being a loner and focusing on things that interest you. Not things that you think might make you popular. You have the right attitude. You can feel happier by putting all the attention into YOURSELF. Most high school girls put all their attention into everybody else's life and trying to be like other people. You just focus on YOU and bettering your life. It will make you happier, and a much more interesting person to be around when you get out into the real world.

Answer 3

Don't worry - I've had some **** times at school. The lowest points I've had have been during bullying or just having crap days - everyone gets 'em. For people like me and you, it's more like a crap year. When I was about 12 - 13, I had no mates. Seriously, someone I knew said, "Emma, as soon as you've fallen out with those two, you don't have any friends." And it was true. Sad but true. I've always found it hard fitting in and I've always felt like people thought I was weird. Life has changed so much looking back - I have a long term boytfriend, quite a few friends who are true friends and I do actually like my life. I have a future ahead of me - I'm auditioning for an acting course and I have a part time job whilst taking my a levels. SO, chin up, it'll get better. Believe me - and remember, the rain always comes before the sunshine :)

Answer 4

I always felt that way too. You are just wiser beyond your years. It is hard to fit in to high school especially when you don't feel that you relate to anyone. I hated high school but it got easier for me as time went on. I started to get involved in activities. I was never an athlete but if you enjoy a sport, try out for it. The only regrets I have from high school is not going out for things like drama and plays that I think I would have been good at. I was easily intimidated.

Keep up what you are doing and just be yourself. They will realize sooner or later that you are a good person and they will befriend you. I completely understand where you are coming from, trust me. I have a 15 yr old brother in fact, who is also going through a hard time at school and wants to drop out because of it. By all means, DO NOT DROP OUT, if you feel like that! I did in my Senior year and regretted it ever since. Nothing is more important than your high school diploma. You will realize one day, that those popular girls in high school are nothing compared to the world. I feel that I have turned out good compared to where some of those people are today.

Another thing that may help - if you feel depressed - talk to your parents and go see your family doctor or a counselor. There are plenty of medications to go on to give you that extra energy you may be lacking. I was on them briefly in school and it helped. Just another thought.

Please if you want to email me to ask me anything, do not hesitate. I check my email everyday and have been through a lot. I hope that you find your place. I didn't find it until my mid-twenties and that was a couple years ago.... ; - ) Don't worry, high school goes so fast and you will wonder where all the time went. Maybe find a boyfriend....that will keep you busy! LOL

I hope all goes well. Take Care!

Answer 5

I was exactly like this in high school and I ended up sitting alone in the library every day during my free time and writing, which was good for in a way, but not in others. There are probably other people in your school who feel the same as you do. Maybe if you try to be more observant, and find others who kind of hang out alone, or rebel against those groups of people who copy each other, you can meet more independent souls. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be alone, it can make you a stronger person, as long as you can find a way to successfully be with others as well. Being confident in being alone is one of the best, and surprisingly one of the rarest qualities in people today. Try to find extra-curricular activities that you enjoy to keep your life stimulated, just something you like to do... make sure you do it.

Answer 6

Get a diary and every day write down AT LEAST 5 things you were grateful for. It trains your brain to think about the good things in life. It's a great start!

This and dozens of other ways I found in a book I suggest a lot, Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment by Tal Ben-Shahar.

Answer 7

It's just school your going to be spending the 70 years of your life someplace else than school.but your family will always be there. jus tthink about the things you can look foward to. like going to collage nd moving out and meeting tons of new ppl in your life who'll understand you. i know i do. i'm the same way. i hae th hwole clique thing. well actualy where i live it's more of a race thing.every one here is asian and since i'm not asian its really hard to fit in. and there aren't exactly any white euro/americans here. I don't swear either so ppl think i'm weird :)
butwho cares. high school doesn't last forever.

Answer 8

Everyone is different, and you seem mature.... not weird or odd...

i'm sorry you are feeling lonely, though.. that can't be fun.

Teens act out and cheat and insult others to make themselves look better.. it's like a competition out there... but life doesn't have to be that way, you are absolutely right.

If you feel unhappy, maybe talk with your parents or school counselor for guidance and advice...

take care of youself...

Answer 9

denial is always good,
but for real there is nothing wrong with feeling outcast, most of us know we are, find friends that have an open relationship so you won't feel like in a clique and most important be happy the way you are the first year of college they will be trying to reassemble their clique's but you'll be ready for college life

Answer 10

You should try to find friends that are outsiders as well. Different doesnt mean bad. In high school everyone trys to fit in but some day you'll appreciate being different. And you're not really that different. You're just more mature.