Does anyone think that this is even remotely fair?

Question

I am a mother of two and step mother of one. My husband and I are barely scraping by financially at this point. My husband pays $500 or so a month in child support for his daughter. Her mother doesn't work, his daughter is in daycare (approx. $1000/month= our rent). Her mother also owns their home, and just recently bought a brand new computer and Buick Ranier ($30,000 +). I drive a 94 Chevy Lumina that's on death's door and my husband drives a 91 mercury sable with no power steering. We overdraft our bank account often, simply buying the necessities. We are lucky that we can keep our kids in diapers. My step daughter has ONLY name-brand toys and videogames (she's 3) and my kids are lucky to get a handful of generic toys on birthday's and christmas unless it comes from grandma. I know I probably sound incredibly whiny, but does anyone anywhere even think that this is fair? Also, her mother is college educated and CHOOSES not to work.

FYI- I am in college and my husband works full time and is also in the Army National Guard. She was left money by her recently deceased mother and collects from: the VA (based on my husbands disability on behalf of his daughter), and she also gets disability for my stepdaughter who has been declared disabled- because she is underweight

1st) our two children are 3 and 1. my stepdaughter is 3 as well. My son is the oldest. Don't ask, just know that we weren't married and it worked out for us perfectly in the end. Also, if this helps- my husband hasn't seen his daughter in 9 months

Answer 1

I find it terribly wrong!

What I find worse is the retarded answers that are geared towards you! Geeze .. what hateful people on tonite ..

I have not been in your shoes but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see it's wrong .. somehow, someway find a better lawyer!

Good Luck!

Answer 2

OK, if your husband ex's doesn't work, how can his ex own her house without making any payment, also where do she get the money to buy a new vehicle and PC? If your husband paying $500 for child support and day care too? There will be no brand name toys for his daughter, if her mother want her to have them she need to get herself a job and buy them for her. There is no way he should not be able to take care of his family because of his ex selfish behavior.

Is her main reason for not working to punish her ex? What is field does she have the degree in? I would take another look at their divorce settlement and see what is outline in there. If they bought the house together and the court rule that she should get the house. Then she should be making the house payment and the utilities bills along with the up keep of the house. If she want her daughter to have brand name toys, she need to get off her lazy selfish rear and buy them for her.

Heck no! this in not even remotely fair!! does you husband have a college degree as well?

Answer 3

I think that your husband needs to consult an attorney. I would think that the ex's part of the disability payment would be good enough for child support (or is that $500 taken for child support from disability? i guess i didn't understand that part so well).

I hope your husband does not pay any of the daughter's daycare.. he shouldn't have to... and he also need not fork over one dime over the amount of his child support...!!!

I do believe that your husband really needs to consult an attorney, take all his bills, expenses and income -- YOUR income does not count toward child support... but the fact he has another child or more, DOES count.... because his other children are an added expense (if he is the natural father).

Does the government offer legal services? I hope so, because if your husband is disabled from being in the military, he should have access to anything he wants! I'm really sorry to hear all of this, and my thoughts and prayers are with you tonight.

take care, and i hope it works out...

Answer 4

I think I would go back to court and try to get the amount that you are paying, changed.

You are not whiny, you are just concerned for your family.
I know your hubby has to be just as concerned if not drained.

Support one another and work together to find a way.
Once you are done with school, things will get better. :O)
Remember you have each other and the all the material things in life can't buy love or happiness.

Your children are so young and wont know the difference for a while (count your blessing for this)
As they get older...it will get better...because you are going forward.

go back to court try and get the numbers changed and also try to get the day care deleted....if mom is home why isn't Mom home schooling?(wait is she paying for this or you?)If she is, not a worry for you... Just what you are giving.

A shame she chooses not to work, when educated and wondering what she is teaching her daughter at the same time. Educated= not working, Home= daughter in day care= time well spent? oh well....not our choice or position to judge....just to move forward

best wishes
PS>>one who doesn't think its fair however also knows that sometimes life deals us a deck we have to learn to live with and/or work with.

Answer 5

Unfortunately Jennifer, things can seem a bit one-sided but, it seems to me that your children are benefiting from this relationship. Money can't buy love. It's an old adage but, one that always proves itself. I came from a family of 9. You wanna talk poverty???!! I've been there. You know what made everything seem not so unfair???? My Mom. No matter what we got for Christmas or our birthday we knew, a great sacrifice had been made on our behalf. Yes, there were feelings of jealousy and envy but, there were times when I saw that even the kids who got everything they wanted, were still unhappy. You learn a lot from having to struggle to survive in this life. Some of us are handed everything and some of us aren't. Rich or poor happiness and love CANNOT be bought. Give your kids memories because material things are going to be forgotten all too soon. Accept your lot in life but, never stop struggling to be the best you can be and love your family above all else. Money can't buy everything so, start some life long keepsake projects. No better way to communicate with your child --- one on one.

Answer 6

If paying that much is causing a strain on your family he needs to petition the court straight up and get it re evaluated. Life isn't fair but instead of complaining about it, just do it. You can go and get a job too and maybe downsize a little bit. It seems like you guys need to be somewhere paying less rent.

Answer 7

i'm an evangelical Christian and that i'm right here to flat out enable you recognize that your assumption in the case you describe is thoroughly incorrect. no person, which incorporate any evangelical, ought to probable understand what the condition of the murderers soul is with God at dying. God judges all souls, no longer adult males and not in any respect Christians. And by way of the way, feeling guilt has actually no longer something to do with salvation by way of Jesus Christ. And sure, your perception approximately Christianity for sure provides me perception into why you discover Christianity abhorrent. however the rationalization you do is predicated upon all the lack of expertise of the very venture you discover abhorrent. Your wisdom is the equivalent of somebody who does not understand the place the oil is going on your motor and places it in the transmission. The oil is in the vehicle in spite of the undeniable fact that that is not any longer the place that is meant to be. you have positioned the oil in the transmission in this one. I incredibly advise that for the period of the destiny you learn the information of what you look for to demean till now you're making fake claims and assumptions.

Answer 8

I don't think there is any fairness in the whole wide world! Whether you are in the US or Asia - the place where I'm writing to you. Why the rich are getting richer & the poor poorer? Talking about fairness, Why Jesus had to be crucified when He commit no sins? Just move on.

Answer 9

so what she doesnt want to work thats not her problem that you are just getting by. maybe you need to go to college and finish so that you can get a better paying job so that you can take care of your family without robing peter to pay paul. dont hate on her love that she can do it and give you the motivation to want to do better. GodBless

Answer 10

is it fair to you and your hubby? NO it is not, but the court believes this is in the kids best interest, so there is not a damn thing you can do about it.