My 12 year old son is becoming very disobedient and mouthy I have tried every thing I can think of as punishments or incentives to be good but nothing is working.
2007-11-28 16:59:11 · 8 answers · asked by piecezmaya 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
The answer you seek isn't really clearcut and depends on a ton of factors including you. You're going to have to figure out what exactly is going on inside him. Honestly ask yourself about his family situation, your role and his dad's role in the family, his friends, school, peer pressure, and how has punishment been dealt with in his past, any yelling and/or physical contact? Also, take an inventory of what you provide for him and how he reacts to it. Does he take it for granted? A lack of respect for family is often an indication of how he feels about himself and/or his own self-esteem. Punishment via negative reinforcement in itself can have the opposite effect you hope for. Blindly offering perks without understanding his issues will not work for the same reason. You can't bribe someone to be good. You can only show them why it works. Get to the root of it and try to open up the communication lines without judgement and open yourself up to him at the same time. At his age, he is beginning to get that teenage independant streak. All you can do is steer him in the right direction and present a positive model that he can follow. If he gets mouthy with you, that is grounds to take away his luxuries. If he has a tantrum because of it, then he is spolied and needs to learn the value of what he has. He's going to make mistakes but he's going to need your support while he figures that out.
2007-11-28 17:28:17 · answer #1 · answered by RedHeeler 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He might be going through a phase where he is rebellious... hormones and bodily changes can cause this... and of course, emulating friends.
You could sit him down at the kitchen table and ask him if he knows why he is being so rude? And how he feels about it....
Let him know you would like to discuss this, because it's important.... and then you could also ask him about the disobedience.
I used to make my k ids sit down at the kitchen table when something was wrong... we talked about things.. i think it helped them quite a lot, as my younger (adult) son said it was a "fate worse than a spanking" but that it really helped him a lot....
I always asked them about their feelings when it came to their rebellious ways and when they did things wrong... i even asked them what they thought their punishment should be (even though i rarely took their advice.. heehee).
If this continues for too long, take him to his pediatrician, and let them have a private office visit together.. maybe the doctor would have a suggestion or referral or info for you...
can't hurt...
take care.
2007-11-29 02:17:03 · answer #2 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I went through a similar faze as a teen. My father fixed my attitude really fast by "electrically grounding" me for two week. If it had to be run using electricity or batteries I was forbidden to use it for two weeks. That meant no tv, computer (except for school work), music, blow dryer, car (had to take bus to school YUCK!!!) video games etc. The only light I got was a lamp that could be lit from 7-9pm so I could finish my homework. It was hell, but it worked. My attitude did a complete change after that.
2007-11-29 08:06:16 · answer #3 · answered by nykate_winslow 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Take him on drive to the local police station. Usually there is a holding cell attached to a police station.
Ask the officer to show the holding cell to the kid.
Then drive back home with him, but remember to mention to him that he had taken a look at his next bedroom if he continues in this way.
2007-11-29 09:11:14 · answer #4 · answered by granny.rose23 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well im a 15 ur old kid but i pretty much listen to my parents but a kid at my school was just like that at 12 and he just got arrested and sentenced to 2 years in jail beause he got into drugs , got guns, stole , and more. id hate to say your son has a big chance at doing this but ( i dont know him truely so i cant say anything for sure) but i would take him to therapy and maybe yell at him , YOU SHOULD TAKE EVERYTHING OUT OF HIS ROOM UNTIL HE BECOMES A GOOD CHILD AND LISTENS AND GETS OUT OF ALL TROUBLE
2007-11-29 01:12:43 · answer #5 · answered by greg t 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it doesn't sound like the punishment that isn't working, it's the mind set you have as a parent. your kid knows he can serve his time and you go out and do something wrong again and not really get in too much trouble. you need to establish yourself as his dominant authority and have him respect you, not take you for granted and do what he wants.
2007-11-29 01:03:35 · answer #6 · answered by Sgt. Pepper 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Follow through. You're not showing enough seriousness when you speak to your kid. Talking means nothing without action. Whip his *** if you need to. Don't feel bad about it either, he deserves what he gets because he's working awfully hard to get into trouble. He earned it.
2007-11-29 01:29:07 · answer #7 · answered by Albert G 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
[u]man take out the soap[/u]
2007-11-30 18:29:06 · answer #8 · answered by Layne L 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋