best way to develope self-confidence?

Question

I have low confidence when it comes to talking to people in general. Mostly girls. My mind just freezes up and I cant think of anything to say. I want to meet new friends and have a gf for once. I am in college and i am friendless really besides at my job. I am wondering whats the best way to build up confidence to help me at least talk to people i do not know. I took up guitar and i was wondering if that would help me in the long run. I heard hobbies can help build self-confidence

Answer 1

jj Self confidence comes from within....
Discover who you are <3
Write down all the things about you that you like about yourself....no answer can be too small...
Focus on those answers...
Scratch of any answers that may be negative and keep rewriting the list everyday and add more answers...
Pretty soon youll see how great of a guy you are and why...
Look at this list everyday and remind yourself how great you really are....
Or, go see a shrink so they can point out the positives about you and have you work on some exercises too...
Either way, you have to love yourself first! Be kind to yourself and realize your self worth and remind yourself everyday its not the opinion of others that you a good person...its your own opinion of yourself!!!!

Answer 2

i feel the same way sometimes. what made a noticable difference in my interactions with people a few years ago was a part time customer service job. but that basically only improves your social skills, not necessarily your confidence. it forces you to interact with people in a controlled environment. also, i volunteered for a service that forces you to work in a different guy-girl team of two for a few hours a week, so that helped too. you can also force yourself to do class announcements and presentations. that sounds scary, though . :D
you're not gonna get a good answer here . if you want a real answer that you can absorb quickly download a few motivational cds. anthony robbins has really good, entertaining ones. :D
plus, every single help book out there starts with a few self-confidence chapters.
the superficial (supposedly wrong) answer is also: make yourself look more physically attractive.

Answer 3

Treat everyone you meet as a potential new friend (not girlfriend)
Learn how to dance
Playing guitar, great, practice till your good at it.
Figure out what you like to do and are good at Then use those skills to your advantage.
When you approach a girl to start a conversation remember that they are the same as you, not better and be prepared for rejection and accept it. ALL people go through this. Some let it slide and move on, others take it to heart. Don't do this. You try again with another person.

Answer 4

If your problem is talking to people, hobbies won't do much for you. Low confidence is different than low self-esteem.

But just like the guitar, you have to practice. Doing social things that force you to communicate will help. Pressure will mess you up though. You just need to chat around, put no expectations on the conversation.

A good way to pick up girls is to talk to them as though you have no intention of picking them up. An even better way is to talk to them while truly having no expectation to pick them up. You have to be enjoyable before you can have a girlfriend. Most girls don't date unenjoyable people. But if that's you, you can change it. The trick to being enjoyable is to just have fun around others.

If you freeze up all the time, start by asking people about themselves. Don't worry about saying or asking the "right" thing, because people can read artificial conversation. Just be interested. Approach people (even the ones you wouldn't date) with interest in who they are and what they do.

Answer 5

First off: Get out there and introduce yourself to people--no matter how nervous you may be, or hang out a little bit more with your co workers at least. The only way to make friends is to dive into that first introduction.

Also, relax a bit! I give you credit for wanting to build confidence, but in order to do that you have to be comfortable enough with yourself.

Answer 6

Low self-confidence usually comes from fear. The best way to get over it is to get to the root of that fear and conquer it. Playing guitar is a good way to socialize, you can get together with other people and jam. Also, girls like musicians (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). Playing music is a good thing all around.

Answer 7

I discover that the nice method to increase self esteem is to check out and notice your self via the eyes of others. Now you have not inspired a few folks with this query, however this is a subject of point of view. And I myself feel this is a very legitimate query, possibly higher requested someplace else, however I'll humor you. I bet we will appear at a average man situation while you desire to invite a woman out. What do you worry so much? Rejection, it is a no brainer, you feel: "If I wait longer, she could get to love me slightly extra, thus, my probabilities might be better. And what if she rejects me? She'll inform everybody I requested her out and I'll be ruined!" Take a appear at it from her point of view. If you're a loser, do you feel she'll brag approximately turning you down? If she does, how lengthy will folks speak approximately it? I feel I might be competent to outlive the quarter-hour they might speak approximately it earlier than a few new large factor is available in and makes it the previous day's information. If you ask and he or she says no, probabilities are she on no account might have stated sure. And handiest the worst folks will unfold rumors approximately anybody who they do not even hardly ever recognize. If you do not ask, you'll be able to on no account stand a threat. I feel that used to be kinda off subject for self esteem, however there are such a large amount of folks available in the market that allow their loss of point of view do them in. The key to knowledge your self (and gaining self esteem) is to peer your self via different folks's eyes. At least, that is how I see it... :p

Answer 8

Find out about the activities and groups that your college offers. Choose something that interests you and join up. Meeting with people in general who share common interests with you can help you to overcome your social phobia. You'll have something in common that you can talk about and who knows...maybe you'll strike a chord with that certain someone. Good luck!

Answer 9

Guys care about looks. But most girls don't care about looks of the guy, they care about his personality. So just be nice and talk to them.

If your in school, just talk about school subject, assignments you have together and all that