Why do people abuse me for not wanting to breastfeed?

Question

anytime anybody hears that i am not going to breastfeed my baby they always bag me out saying that i dont deserve it as it HAS to be breast fed.
i fed my other son but the experience was so painful and traumatic i couldnt cope
and i would rather give him a bottle then try and rush his feeds, am i doing the wrong thing by my next baby by not even trying.

i will try for the first few days just for the colostrum but i dont really think i could cope longer than that

Also i had a lactation consultant from the breastfeeding association tell me that maybe it was time for bottles with my son i didnt just give up i looked for help

Answer 1

You need to be the best mother you can be, and if that means formula feeding - then be that mother. If is makes you unhappy to breast feed then you won't be able to be the best mother you can be. Do what you have to to make it right for you and baby. Don't let other people tell you you are wrong about something that is clearly a choice. It is great to be able to breast feed our babies but for some it just isn't right for them- but you can and will still be a great MOM!

Answer 2

Giving the baby the colostrum is one of the best things you can do for him/her. As this is like your baby's first immunization. I commend you on that. The decision is up to you. But if you do decide to continue there is help out there. There are Lactation Consultants in the hospitals that can help you, and classes you can take. I'm a breastfeeding peer counselor in the town I live in. and I can tell you that if it was painful that means the baby was not latched on properly. Breastfeeding is a learned process, it does not always come easy it takes practice and patience and a good support system. If you need more info you are more than welcome to e-mail me. Congrats on the new baby. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty, having a new baby is hard enough.

Answer 3

Because some people are judgemental idiots who think they can tell you how to live your life.

Do what you think is best for yourself, the baby, and your situation and ignore the haters you'll get. The ultimate choice is yours.

However, I do encourage you to TRY breastfeeding this child. It's easier to start breastfeeding then switch to formula then it is to start on formula then try to re-lactate. Breastfeeding is better for you and the baby (but formula is a good, too. Just not AS good as breastmilk). Nursing shouldn't have been painful, so it if was you might have been doing something wrong. If you decide to go ahead and try, educate yourself as much as you can now so that you are better prepared this time. If you need any help, you can contact your hospitals lactation consultant or call someone from Le Leche League.

Good luck! Congrats on the baby :)

Answer 4

from the sound out of you truly tried with your first. this time around i would suggest trying but if at the first sign you can't cope do not force it. would you rather become a depressed mommy and make it even more difficult on yourself and children?

i don't know what the situation was that lead you to stop but if you do want to give your child breast milk you could try exclusively pumping. i know what it feels like to try to breastfeed and its just not working and no matter what you try you just don't feel adequate and then that leads to depression. your child is still getting the nutrients to survive if you go with formula.

i don't see why its anybody elses business besides you and your partner. i've had complete strangers ask me if i was breastfeeding....hello, not an appropriate question.

Answer 5

Nursing shouldn't be painful or traumatic. It can sometimes be difficult in the beginning, as there is a learning curve for both mom and baby, but it is quite possible to get past that and have a positive breastfeeding relationship with your baby.

If you have a La Leche League group in your area, you might contact the leader for some support and help in getting breastfeeding off to a good start. I think you would be doing the wrong thing by not even trying. You might surprise yourself and have a very positive experience this time around.

Answer 6

There is soooo much pressure on women to breastfeed and they make you feel horrible if you can't. just try to ignore the comments, those people don't know your situation, so they shouldn't be judging anyway.
I tried breastfeeding and just found it sooo painful and blood was getting into the milk, it just didn't work for me. Everyone made me feel terrible when i stopped. My baby and i our both healthy and happy and that should be what really matters.
I think its great you're going to try again, its suppose to be much easier the second time around. who knows maybe you'll have better luck and continue with it this time. I'm going to try harder when i have another child, now that i know more about what i'm doing and can get off to a better start.

Answer 7

breastfeeding is something you have to stick with and be committed to 100% and honestly some mothers cannot do it. i tried tirelessly for a month, even renting a hospital grade pump, but my son had reflux and i had to tend to him a lot. getting the hang of breastfeeding was hard and i couldnt stick with it. i believe you should at least try and see if you have a better experience, but ultimately it is your decision and i dont believe you should be looked down upon because of it. good luck & just remember that you're the parent not them.

Answer 8

some ppl are narrow minded, ppl used to have wet nurses when the couldnt or wouldnt breastfeed since that is frowned upon these days some ppl want to push it down our throats yeah breast is best but it isnt the only option and some ppl just cant.......i had a lactation consultant give up with me too cause i have smooth flat nipples there is nothing to latch onto even though im a 36D. so i pumped but then i went back to work in a smoky environment and didnt want to pass it on to my baby so i gave up and switched. i still catch crap for it. forget them and just be the best mother you can be. your baby will love you the same as long as its fed somehow

Answer 9

Are you sure you aren't criticizing breast feeding mums? The two sides tend to get at each other to compensate. In reality neither side cares what the other does. But I know I had to put up with a lot of unwanted comments, mainly from grandmothers of bottlefeeding mums. The mums themselves were less bothered. It didn't make me feel too kindly disposed towards the bottlefeeding lot, although I would never say anything to them. I got things like "Why are you doing this, and preventing yourself from leaving it with someone and going out with your husband?" or "Is he getting enough?" or "Are you going to give him a bottle to make him go longer?". What you don't realise is that it's just as bad on our side of the fence. Best just to ignore all remarks, and don't bring the subject up.

Answer 10

Sounds like a rhetorical question. You sound like you have your mind made up. I can't figure out why there is such a war between breast feeding and bottle feeding moms. Couldn't our energy be better spent on something else, like fighting world hunger or something.

Just as an aside, breast feeding did not stop hurting me until about the 6th month. I coped but it is definitely up to you to decide what you want to do. Your child will be fine if you bottle feed.