She is going to another state to think things over and plans on filing for divorce while out of state. Can her soon-to-be-X use that against her in the divorce case? She's telling him that she is leaving to "think about it" then will serve him with divorce papers while she's gone b/c she doesn't know how he'll react. They are currently married, obviously no "parenting plan" in place. Any advice? Also, can a soon-to-be-single mother get any help from the state with housing/daycare/etc? Any info will help!
2007-11-28 15:41:20 · 7 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't know about other states but the state I live in cannot tell me as a mother that I cannot take my son out of state unless a judge has ordered in writing that I cannot do so. If I want to take my son out of this country. I have that right and there is nothing that his father can do about it. We have joint custody but still that does not give him the right to tell me that i cannot take my son out of state. Same goes for him being his father, he has the right to take his son anywhere he wants. But when we restrict visitation that has already been set in place. The judge could put us in contempt of a court order and jail for for x amount of days.
A single mother can get help with low income housing or apartments she will need to fill out an application and go through a background check.
2007-11-28 15:48:42 · answer #1 · answered by rene1695 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You usually have to establish residency. In Ohio, it's six months in the county and a year in the state, meaning that if she were to come to Ohio from another state, she would have to live here a year before filing divorce in the state of Ohio. Her soon-to-be ex can use this as far as establishing temporary orders. If he files first in the county in which they are now living, asks for temporary custody, she doesn't answer his complaint for divorce, then chances are, he will get temporary custody and possibly be awarded residential parent. And until temporary orders are filed, they are both considered equal in parenting ... she does not automatically have custody of the children because she is married. Also, if he files first, how hard will it be for her to travel back to the state in which she is now living for the court hearings. He can use that to his advantage, as well. Plus, if he files first and the divorce is going through that state, she won't have the "personal" relationship with her attorney in that state since she is residing in another state. Most attorneys are licensed to practice in one state. There are those who are licensed in several states, but they are usually neighboring states.
Why is she leaving in such a manner? I kind of get the idea that this might be an abusive relationship. If this is the case, she should probably contact a domestic violence shelter in her area rather than just leave the state like that. If she is in an abusive situation, they can offer her temporary housing in a safe environment (shelters have alarm systems, they usually have close relationships with law enforcement, and the workers are trained to keep the occupants safe), make sure she and the kids are fed, possibly help her get temporary orders regarding custody established, direct her in assistance with housing/daycare/etc. She would also get counseling and support. They're usually not the most comfortable situation, but it's a temporary situation and she and the kids would be safe. At the very least, she should probably contact an attorney in her area before she leaves so she will know what she might expect ... many attorneys offer free initial consultations and there are also legal aid societies in many areas if she isn't employed.
Keep in mind that until temporary orders are filed, there is NOTHING to stop him from coming to the state in which she is living to retrieve the kids. He can pick them up at school or daycare, he can coax them in the car if they're out shopping or at McDonald's ... there's nothing stopping him from doing so ... he would not be breaking any laws. He has as much right to take the kids as she has. Again, I cannot stress how important it is that she gets some type of legal counsel before she just packs up and leaves.
2007-11-29 01:11:12 · answer #2 · answered by Patti 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't do it without written consent from the father, especially if he plays an active role in their lives. Unless you are fearing for your life or he could cause you harm, and you can prove that, don't run off with the kids. You can go "away" but don't leave the state without talking to an attorney first.
2007-11-28 23:45:52 · answer #3 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask an attorney. Laws very from state to state quite a bit when it comes to children.
Good luck.
2007-11-28 23:44:56 · answer #4 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not in Oregon, I know htat. My boyfriend's son has a wife ready to do this, but can't, beacsue of state law.
That implies that there are some states in which maybe you can.
Don't know every state.
Willing to bet most, you can't.
2007-11-28 23:45:21 · answer #5 · answered by starryeyed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure if she wants to go to Hospital or jail for 2 years.An Ex girlfreind did that to her husband its all good but the penalty is large.Stupid laws
2007-11-28 23:57:02 · answer #6 · answered by who 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that would be a wise idea. Only because this will look like she is trying to keep the kids from the dad.
2007-11-28 23:45:30 · answer #7 · answered by sparkling_apple 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋