I am so uncertain about my future husband, he is 22 years... I mean on one hand he is very sweet, and loving, and affectionate. he has very good work ethic, is an excellent father to his child, he loves children and working with the elderly .he is also very spiritual and family orientated... however when it comes to romantic relationships, he tends to be very unreliable, and constantly breaks promises, and makes up excuses. I mean do the positives out way the negatives ?? what is your take on this man as a possible husband ??
2007-11-28 15:14:07 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
All those things you listed about him are very great qualities. Although you say he has a child, he is still a young man, and it sounds as if he has some very important priorities to tend to, in spite of his age and maturity level.
Do you notice that he makes and breaks promises with other significant people in his life? Such as his child, his parents, other close friends?
If he does, then you can't take this so personally, as it is just ONE part of his personality. Some people are notorious for being late, and when he makes excuses he may be trying to avoid hurting yours or others feelings.
Now if he is out and out lying, then that is a deal breaker, and you should anticipate that he may also lie about major things that will come up in your future.
No matter who you choose to marry, you will undoubtedly find things about them that you will not always appreciate, and you will have to overlook some. After all, no one is perfect, and it's best to always keep that in mind when you make the lifetime commitment to marry.
2007-11-28 15:40:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is 22 and has children... with a woman or women that he couldn't maintain a relationship with.
He breaks promises, he makes excuses. he is unreliable.
How many more possible signs could you possibly need?
This is going to sound like an insult but I am serious here, after all we are talking about the rest of your life... If you are having a hard time seeing the writing on the wall, then you SHOULD NOT be looking to be in a relationship. If you can't think smart then you still need to grow a little.
2007-11-28 23:53:15 · answer #2 · answered by David P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has many good qualities but he also has some irritating habits...most people do. If his "negatives" really bother you then discuss them with him and let him know how they affect your relationship.
You also mention he has a child, but did not say it was yours ...so I am wondering if he has left another person with a child or has already been divorced once??? Whatever the situation is it may tell you something about how stable and reliable he is in a relationship. At 22 he is bound to be somewhat immature and he will be going through many changes as he ages...that is inevitable. Just depends on whether you want to go along for the ride, or wait until you are more certain of his desirability as a husband.
2007-11-28 23:23:50 · answer #3 · answered by ScSpec 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At least you know his overall character is in good standing. You may need to give him some time in the relationship maybe living together if not already. The things you mention is so common with us guys because we don't think alike in certain situations or see it as a big deal. After plenty of arguments and disagreements I think he'll catch on to your necessities, but try not to paint a picture of your perfect hubby because you might disappoint yourself.
2007-11-28 23:41:45 · answer #4 · answered by dxclusive1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
broken promises can really hurt over time. try talking to him and find out why he does this. mabye being romantic and keeping promises is something you can teach him. My husband is the exact same way. I find that if I lead by example, he usually follows. Start making promises to him and keep them and see if he follows your lead. It may take a while, but he might come around eventually
2007-11-28 23:32:48 · answer #5 · answered by superyduperymommy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One one hand you are never going to meet Mr. Perfect. But on the other hand, not keeping promises is a bigger deal than you realize. Anyone can make a promise, but only the person who cares can keep a promise.
Good luck.
2007-11-28 23:28:09 · answer #6 · answered by box of rain 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you concerned about marrying this guy? Women are always jumping into marriage. If he sucks at romance now, a marriage certificate is not going to change that, be real about it. If you love him so much than why don't you wait for him to mature a bit? If he's so sweet and loving, he won't go anywhere. Stop trying to rush these guys into marriage.
2007-11-28 23:24:28 · answer #7 · answered by Tkatinpdx 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Excuses like?
Maybe the excuses mean nothing to you, but if it is due to something concerning his kids, they HAVE to have their dad, they can live without you.Those "excuses" may be valid, but we dont know you never gave any examples.
If you are unsure date him for a yr before making up your mind.If you cannot decide after a yr, then call it all off.
It isnt about positives outweighing the negatives, thats like sayijng" I bought a really nice new car ,cheap ,its perfect EXCEPT ,it has no engine!"
Pray about it.
2007-11-28 23:21:56 · answer #8 · answered by Joe F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I couldn't even read farther than "he is 22". Wait 5 more years before you EVER call him your future husband again. That 5 years ought to teach you something about his character.
2007-11-28 23:19:02 · answer #9 · answered by Blondie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you want to know if he loves you so its in his kiss....thats where it is !!!!!!! this question made me think of that song!!!! he sounds like a great guy he just seams a little shy about romance. you expectations may be a little high but before you go ahaed and marry this man be sure you love him!!!!remember though being happy doesnt mean everything is perfect... it means you've learned to look past the imperfections!!!!
2007-11-28 23:24:38 · answer #10 · answered by blushingbeauty616 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋