When life gets too hard to handle, how do you cope?

Question

Off topic, I know, but I figured I'd come to my good friends in LGBT for advice. I'm getting stress from every place imaginable right now and I'm going through a pretty rough period, which is why I've disappeared and haven't contacted the many of you that I promised.

So when you get stressed, what do you do to feel better? Listen to music, write poetry...anything. I need a few good options since my old coping mechanisms haven't been working too well lately.

The Nag--that's a stereotype. I'm extremely spiritual, and right now, my faith in God is one of the few things keeping me going. Yes, you CAN be gay and spiritual. The two aren't mutually exclusive.

Elory--I'm fully aware that my problems aren't the worst in the world, and I'll always be the first to say, "There's always someone worse off." But just because I might not be a starving child in Africa doesn't mean I don't have a right to get stressed out when my entire life gets turned upside-down. If getting rid of my stress were as easy as telling myself, "There's someone worse off than me, stop being stressed," I wouldn't be asking this question. My mind is in so many places at once it's becoming increasingly difficult for me to function, so I'm trying to find ways to relieve some stress so I can keep my grades from dipping into F's.

Answer 1

Fellow homosexual,

Life seems to kick me in the behind. Sometimes it is my fault and other times I think I am getting screwed.

I handle it in a few different ways:

I usually get angry as I am quick to flare. Then I almost immediately calm down and find a way to vent, usually with an e-mail. I am pretty verbal.

Sometimes I perform a task. I like to cook and bake, so even if I am not hungry, I'll make something. If I bake, I usually surprise someone who doesn't know me, but sees me everyday: the kid who works at the convenience store, or a neighbor, or something.

Sometimes I exercise. It gets you out of the mood well.

I am not a person who likes discussing my problems with friends or family. I'd rather chat online with a stranger. I tend to be humorous in my description of my woes.

I read a lot, so that helps. Listen to music. Something that cracks me up.

And sometimes I turn to the bottle. Once in a while, just getting blind ripped and being hung over for two days really cures what ails you.

But that is not something I would recommend.

Answer 2

I can relate to some of your story. Sometimes I have the same thoughts, and I never tell anyone. It started back in high school, when I was depressed, but later on, I started getting panic attacks and anxiety. Have you ever tried meditation? When your in a really anxious situation, you can even meditate on the spot. I am taking a class on meditation, and it has really helped me through my anxiety. You can order tapes/DVD's and stuff, just look up Mantak Chia. Also, you can check out some stuff on youtube [because youtube has everything]. I hope this helps. Try therapy too, it helps. You don't have to talk about the thoughts during the first session, but if you make a connection with a therapist/counselor, you might be able to get everything off your chest. I wish you peace and happiness through your journey called life.

Answer 3

Depends, if I'm alone I play the piano. Sometimes for hours. If I'm not alone, and at home, I groom the animals, I love animals, they are so appreciative and sensitive I can't take stress out on them, it just oozes out with purrs or tail wags, or the head butt, I find it soothing. Sometimes in season I work a bit in the garden, or in winter I cook something from scratch. If I'm really stressed out sometimes I clean something or change the furniture around a little bit. Rarely I will cry but that is usually over sudden death and once I get it out I can be strong again. Hope this helps.

Answer 4

I write almost constantly and because of this its not very often that I feel too stressed out. I have a journal that I write everything down in and if I know it could be used against me I always have the option of burning it. I also run in the mornings as a way to relieve stress and just invigorate myself for the day. The one thing that I do that I would not suggest is smoke - its relaxing but its an addiction that is very hard to quit, as I have learned.

Answer 5

When I was younger, my mother would never let me vent my frustrations. Anytime I said anything she didn't want to hear, she said I was back talking and we'd start arguing or she would send me to my room. Since I was not able to say how I felt out loud, I made my own way of emptying all the angry, frustrated, depressed feelings. I made a stress journal. Consider it your verbal punching bag. Write down whatever you feel, the story, the bad language, or just senseless rants. Get it all out. But whatever you do, don't read again. Once it's on that paper, it's history, and you can leave it behind.

Answer 6

Okay!!! For one, you are going through stuff that, (and I feel you are by the way you stated), is very spiritual, and of the light, January will be better for us. You have no clue as to how many of us are doing the same thing. But now you do.
And, I stay by myself, only contact who I feel understands (in which most people don't), and take care of me. Here is a website you can go to., to understand this.
You do not realize how many others are going through this too. Nothing wrong with you, just ascending.

Answer 7

I stop, take a breath, and admire what I already have.

When is the last time you have been content with what you own, instead of wanting more? I end up sitting outside and watching the outdoors, just thinking; time alone really helps.
I also find that simply focusing on one thing at a time at all times possible helps, because less confusion is to be had, and confusion is the last thing you need.

Answer 8

Honestly, writing my crap down in a journal has kept me from going nuts. It's very therapeutic, no matter how stupid it may sound. It's a constructive way of getting out your feelings (which we all need to do from time to time) and it's also gonna remain there for you to go back to, should you need to reflect, or get through something else.

Meditation and yoga also work wonders for me. I learned meditation techniques online. It just chills you out and helps you get centered. Google "Meditation Techniques" and you'll find a lot of them.

Friends, pets and family are also invaluable support- if you're able and comfortable enough to go to them for it. My friends are good for laughter and that's really a good way to get through bad times.

Caffeine and nicotine make tension/anxiety worse, by the way- so you might want to avoid those right now.

Answer 9

You gotta hold on. Lately, I've been on edge with my parents and my friends for weeks now, and I know how you feel: like no one is there to catch you when you're falling. So you have to catch yourself, before you hit the ground. I wrote the letters "H-O-L-D O-N" on my knuckles, on being on the middle and ring finger. I don't mean to be harsh, but you can't quit. I know, people give BS like "it could be worse" and "be thankful for what you have" but we all equally vulnerable to suffering and hardship, be it emotional, or physical, or psycological. Think about something you really care about, like going to college, or something that you won't achieve if you drop everything now. And if long term goals seem to be out of your grasp, make shorter goals. Like, goals two weeks from now.

Sorry, the topic meandered a little bit. Work. At home, at school, get a job (if you don't have one). When you work, things outside of what you are doing seem irrelavant, all of your energy and focus are on ONE thing. It distracts and gets things accomplished. And if work is what's getting you down, don't work: Listen to music, but not any kind of music, slow, soft, harmonious music. Focus on the rhythm, or the lyrics, or whatever. Calm yourself down. Read a favorite book, and food is always a god companion. One word: chocolate. But, please, remember... just hold on.

Answer 10

Some things in life are bad,
They can really make you mad.
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle,
Don't grumble, give a whistle!
And this'll help things turn out for the best...
And...