im pregnant, how do i deal with my lying boyfriend?

Question

im 18 years old and my "boyfriend" and i are expecting a boy in feb. he cant stop lying to me. it went from little things like smoking in my car, to picking up girls in MY car, and lying to me after ive personally called the girl and shes told me. then, he cries to me and tells me how sorry he is. i do not know what to do. i love him mroe than anything. i have given up everything to be with him. my friends & a lot of my family. i sit at home and let him take my car everyday, to work & to school; and instead of going to school, hes with another girl. but when he tells me how sorry he is and he loves me, i fall for it everytime. i need help or advice. ive been trying and trying to make it work, but how can it with no trust. he gets mad when i accuse him or things, and dont trust him, but what does he expect? does he want a reward for lying to me? if you have a baby on the way, and tell your girlfriend you want to get married, shouldnt you stop lying? PLEASE HELP ME!

Answer 1

I've been in a similar situation before.
Typically people lie because they're afraid of what's going to happen if they don't lie.
But if you remove that threat it should be ok for him to tell you the truth, unless of course he's doing something wrong, like running around on you!
He's not going to stop lying to you!
But you have to tell him "listen, you made a baby, now be a man and stop your crap"
Good luck!

Answer 2

The first thing you need to think about is: Do you want the baby?

If not then make arrangements to put the baby up for adoption. There are alot of people out there that would love to have children but are medically not able, so they turn to adoption.

If you do want the baby then, you need to find a safe place to live and make sure that you can support yourself and the child. After the baby is born serve the baby's daddy with papers to get him to pay you support.

DO NOT make the mistake that many of us have in the past. It did not work out then it ended in divorce and he kids suffer worse seeing you go through that.

There is someone else out there that will love you and treat you the way you should and he will love your child because they love you, obviously the father of this child is not the one for you.

You NEED trust in a relationship as well as mutual love.

Do some soul searching, talk to your preacher, friends, as well as your family, they are the people who will be there ALWAYS for you.

Answer 3

Once they start lying, they don't stop. Dump him and let him know that an honest relationship can't be built on lies and withstand through the hardships that do come. You have to respect yourself enough to say enough is enough. If you premit a little white lie then you're gonna have to accept the big lies too, like cheating on you. Is that the way you want your son to see as an example of how to treat women? think about it.
Time to let the guy go grow up with his Mommy or go lie to someone else. Eventually he will see his error. But don't be fooled by the I've seen the light.
Good luck.

Answer 4

Sounds like to me you have a "Boy" for a friend; and I really dislike saying this, but you've made a terrible mistake in some of the decisions and choices you've been making, and it's all up to you on how you're going to deal with it.
He's not made any commitment to you, sounds like, and he's using you for his own devises, and there is still a lot of maturing that's going to have to take place before he's even going to consider being responsible or trust worthy.
Having a baby is never a good idea to try to force someone to marry you,,,because it's not going to work out. It will just cause a whole lot more problems then what you've already got......Go back to your family,,,,,,and start taking responsibility for yourself........

Answer 5

Girl all i can tell you is that he worth-less kick him to the crub, and this is how to stick with it and how to do it. Go to a friends house leave for awhile or move out either way tell him over the phone hug your belly or baby.. sounds funny but do it after you call him telling him its time for him to go then hung up. dont let him talk or anything dont call back either.
If you dont have trust in a relationship then you dont have one, all you got is Dick. thats plan simple and out there. You dont need some one like that, i have a daughter and have kinda the same problem but differnt he not out there to get others girls just mentally abucves how ever that is spelt.lol im about to kick him to the curb unless he stratins up. he also not working or anything im working looking for a 2 job and rasing 5 kids. only one is mine. it hard girl but your better off with out your loser bf that could come home one day and give you something. your 18 im almost 19 yrs old and we haveour whole life in front of us, we dont need this S*** at all honey. If you ever feel like emailing me its cool also its [e-mail]
I know what your going thur been there done that and now back in more trouble myself and getting help to get out of it. I hope this helps you
Good Luck Girl do whats right for you and the baby.

Answer 6

You made a mistake.Go home to your parents and tell them "I made a mistake, you were right and I was wrong" so they can help you raise that kid.Tell the b/f when he can quit lying and prove that he has quit lying, get his own car and place to live and pay his own way and quit seeing other girls then maybe youll marry him in a year,until then he can do as he likes while paying child support.
Otherwise this scenerio you have give will continue to repeat until death do you part, or until you get sick enough and leave or until he finds another girl he likes better and leaves.
His accusing you is just his way of trying to cover up and justify his wrong doings.

Answer 7

You may love him a lot, but you need to stop being a victim and take your life back. My question is why would you want to marry a lying cheat? You will have nothing but misery the entire time you are married to him if you do not let him know you are not going to tolerate his behavior. Go to school after you have your baby so you can take care of the both of you. Honestly, what do you expect from a kid anyway.

Answer 8

Wow, you sound just like my mom did 26yrs ago. He's not going to stop & your self-esteem will crumble down to nothing. Then what will you do? Do you want your son to turn out like his dad? Becausse he will. My mom took my stepdad back every time & now my baby brother (step-dad's son) is doing the same thing to all of his girlfriends. You don't need the stress. Start by taking YOUR car back. Lie to him & say you need it for something all day. Then get back into touch with your family. Hopefully they will help you. It's going to be rough, but you can do it. Good luck!!

Answer 9

Ill tell you one thing... STOP THE CYCLE!!!
he's been lying and saying sorry and you've been hurt and forgiving all the time. you're not yet married and he's already acting this way. what do you think he'll be like when you're married? stay away from guys like these. you can live a life without him. just find happiness with your to-be son and never pour all your hurt into your son. just love your son even without the father.

Answer 10

Please, Please, Please...do not be another girl who thinks she can't do better than a piece of **** guy who treats her poorly. I am an older woman who has had my share of losers in my younger days. Now that I'm older and I look back at the BULLSHIT I took from those guys, it makes my stomach turn.
Just because you are pregnant, does not mean you have to stay with this guy. Of course it will be hard to do things on your own, but mentally and emotionally it will be a relief to get rid of the person who causes so much stress in your life.
It won't do you any good to have this guy in your life continuing to make you unhappy--especially after you have your baby. That baby needs to be your focus, and everything you do should be to protect and provide for your child. Obviously you can't count on this guy to be a stable part of your life...how can you expect him to be a good father?
Let me tell you, after I spent 5 years with the biggest lying low-life you can imagine...he used my car, didn't show up where or when he was supposed to, he stole money from me, lied to our roommates and got me kicked out of the house, picked up other women, etc...I had finally had enough. I decided to truly be the strong person that I already was, but for some reason I had let guys take advantage of me.
We broke up, I worked hard, banked my money, paid my bills, tried to make up with the friends and family that had hated him and quit talking to me. He always tried to see me and talk to me, but I cut him off completely.
After a few years of dating other guys casually, I ended up marrying my best guy friend and now we have a great kid, live in a nice house, have nice cars, and we BOTH work to provide for and raise our son. There is no drama, no lying, no cheating, no fighting. We love and respect eachother, and wouldn't DREAM of disappointing one another.
Good things will happen for you when you are ready for them. Don't rely on other people to make you happy and provide a life for you. You will get so much more satisfaction from being a strong, independant woman who has made the necessary changes to bring success and happiness into your life.
Sorry for the long answer, and I hope I don't sound too "preachy"...I just HATE to see younger women allow stupid, immature boys destroy their spirit and beat them down emotionally. You aren't STUCK. You CAN do better. Once a liar and a cheater---ALWAYS a liar and a cheater.