I am not at all bad lookingf I am a DD ~
27inch waist , and really love him, but I am very hurt and very confused by this and would appreciate any advice that any could offer, should I leave him,?? I need to mention that he was my highscool sweetheart anf after a 24 yr marriage found this one and all my old feelings came back but I did not know that this way a problem until after the fact...it really hurts me badly...does anyonbe know if I should leave him or ask him to go to marriage counseling..can this marriage be saved...Oh and he has gone from porn on DVD to looking for female escorts in the Tampa area ( our area!) He hasb't gone to an escort yet that I do know for sure but he has looked more than once...Help me!!
2007-11-28 14:43:30 · 20 answers · asked by Karen G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
porn is one thing, finding prostitutes is another......stay if you don't mind him cheating, leave if you do
2007-11-28 14:46:44 · answer #1 · answered by abc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most of us check out porn no big deal but it can become a problem for some and it doesn't get any better it can hurt relationships, the escorts is a scary sign for sure, might need counseling for that cause addiction to prostitutes is way worst. Trying different things for sexy time my help dressing up and all that let him know your trying to make it work and keep things exciting. Definately tell him that you know about it and you see it as a problem and hopefully if he really loves you he will be conscious of your feelings stop wanking it and get the real thing from wifey who loves him for free.
2007-11-28 15:16:19 · answer #2 · answered by dxclusive1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think going to marriage counceling would solve your problem. If anything , It would piss him off more. Does he search for those escorts at craigslist? It is none of my business, however do you make sure to keep him sexually satisfied and spicing it up a lil in the bedroom? Some men have stronger sex drive. If that doesn't solve the problem then I dont know what will. It may be all because he is a pig you know. Good luck. Hope you find a solution!
2007-11-28 14:52:04 · answer #3 · answered by LikeTotallyDude 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure what your sex life is like now. The reason he is looking could be for viewing purposes, but if he calls an escort, you will never know if he goes to one.An escort can offer many types of services, not all is just sex. Sometimes, the man may feel he needs to be wanted, he might be wanting to try new sex, new positions. He may feel the urge to talk., to relax. Lots of couples go to strip bars, but there must be some RULES, you both need to know and understand.
You both need to talk about your level of comfort between you both in your bedroom. You have every right to ask, why would he call, what is he looking for, what does he need. Let him know, this is not acceptable to you, that it hurts you, makes you wonder.......Why......There are lots of men, who look at porn, maybe look at it with him, Not 2 sure how old both of you are........
Hopefully, this insight might help.
2007-11-28 15:02:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, couples counseling would be a good idea. Looking at some porn is not necessarily a bad thing, but all of the time and escorts are bad news.
2007-11-28 14:48:04 · answer #5 · answered by Jamir 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my friend's husb got addicted to Internet porn and it was
bad he then went to strip places and lap dances and
flings with strippers and my gf was smokin hot she
always got looks tall, leggy, tan and well fake boobs but boobs and pretty face...it was nothing to do with her it
was a SICKNESS and he blew all their savings $$$ they
almost lost their beachfront home. He needs counseling on
his addictive personality. Or sometimes if a man
drinks and smokes too much he becomes impotent
and porn & live strippers make him feel better but
I would not want to be around that.
Suggest marriage counseling and addiction counseling and
see what he thinks and decide then .Good luck.
2007-11-28 14:53:15 · answer #6 · answered by WiseGal 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
looking at porn has nothing to do with how you look or if he is attracted to you. He just likes variety. But if he is looking for an escort, you probably have a sex addict on your hands and it is nearly impossible to fix that. If you want to make it work, you should have as much sex as possible with him so that he is not out looking for more. Otherwise prepare to be cheated on.
2007-11-28 14:51:05 · answer #7 · answered by Brad K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he think it's wrong? If not, then it probably won't change. I hate porn. It's such an addiction. But, that's how you have to treat it--as an addiction. Similar to gambling or alcoholism. There ARE clubs like AA for pornography/masterbation. SA (sexaholics annonymous), I think. Sex is between a wife and a husband, not an uncontrolled boy and digital "bliss".
2007-11-28 15:11:03 · answer #8 · answered by Oh it's me! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about it but don't make him feel that he is doing a bad thing. Make sure he feels safe, there may be something deeper. If you can see a psychologist for advice.
Ultimately you decide how to talk to him but attacking is the wrong way.
the sooner it is addressed the better in the long term, however first educate yourself as to his reasons and the subject it self.
good luck.
2007-11-28 14:58:49 · answer #9 · answered by The Eagle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront him and talk about it. Without communication you won't find out what's up or what his problem is. If he can admit that it's an addiction then the two of you should start going to marriage counseling.
2007-11-28 14:49:08 · answer #10 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definately tell him how this makes you feel. It is important for him to understand your feelings in this situation. If he is looking for an escort then I would consider this very serious and call him out on it. Does he know that you know about this?
2007-11-28 14:49:02 · answer #11 · answered by Victoria 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋