*****
Nonsensical inkblot dribbler,
Babbling crayon scribbler,
You don’t care about art, do you?
Oh fountain of horrible Haiku.
Worrisome wobbling meddler,
Cornball muffin fluff peddler,
Simpleton rhyming, Keystone Kop timing,
Butt jokes, eye pokes and then miming.
When will you ever get serious?
These puns, they make me delirious,
I want to hear more about politics,
Not you and your friends and their hockey sticks!
Our most highly respected scholar,
He’s downstairs playing cards for a dollar,
His pen, a burden unbearable,
And mediocrity, oh so terrible.
*****
2007-11-28 14:36:22 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
It has a major problem, Sir... It has yet to be yoinked!
Drooling rat-faced nibbler,
Reporting rodent riddler,
You don’t care about humor, do you?
Oh cesspool of putrid poo.
Gruesome bralling fecker,
Underage hamster peddler,
Idiot's rhyme, beats off time,
fart jokes, and others deleted.
When will you ever get warts?
Hope your deseased wiener falls off,
I want to talk more about pets,
But why can't we post that in mental health?
The worst retarded nazi mouse ,
Is running this here Y!House,
His claws reach out for you like a fiend,
And mediocrity is his favorite thing....
Yamster must die!
2007-11-28 15:32:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it has got any problem in terms of form, rhyme and style. But it helps if there's a connection between one stanza and another so that it would appear more cogent. I like it anyway. Sounds really nice! =)
2007-11-28 15:32:39 · answer #2 · answered by Dark Dickinsonian 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The meter is second to none. Damn fine stuff if I do say so myself.
Lawd have mercy, El Stoogo has been smoking some of that kimosabe again.
2007-11-28 17:23:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't see a thing wrong with it at all. I think it's Fab.
I especially like the first two stanzas. Great job, well done, Bravo. Keep 'em commin' :)
2007-11-29 00:37:22 · answer #4 · answered by Sptfyr 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is pretty good especially for a rhyming poem , but each stanza is about something different.so they need to be separate poems of each subject.
Many are quite funny really! :-)
2007-11-28 14:53:34 · answer #5 · answered by luv2seashore1 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the main problem is YOU taking yourself faaaaar too seriously. That's just my opinion though
2007-11-28 15:14:30 · answer #6 · answered by Chara Pointshot 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
no. i really like it. very clever use of rhyme and its very original.
2007-11-28 14:45:16 · answer #7 · answered by Emma 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
QUALITY BAZOOKERS!
What I meant to say was one of your breast, ahem! best.
Brwilliant!
2007-11-28 23:07:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋