Is he cheating in ANY way?! What do I do. Read his email below.?

Question

Hey **** how's it going these days, i have dropped into **** Shops but it has been at night so the chemist is already closed, tell you what though it was really good seeing you,
that time you where on your way out for a smoke break, just letting you know, cause I like yah, you sexy thing. Miss Italian o beauty, Ah well got to say even as lame as it may sound, that hug I got from you that day made the whole day brighter for me....Ahh yes do you still work at **** at the Chemist by the way??....Dang man it's been quite a while since I been there during the day ................because this new job I have, the Boss ( manager ) uses my charm..hahaha...to help get new contracts ..................................what you reckon sweetheart?. .........................................And if this is the last email I send you before Christmas or New Years, Merry Christmas and happy New Year, hope all goes well for you angel.

Anyway, take care of yourself, and hope to catch you around sometime, just the two of us so we can talk, about?...nothing and everything that doesn't really matter, as long as we have a bit of fun while were at it...

Check Yah from ****

Just to let you guys know. He is my husband.

How did I find the email? We know each others' passwords etc, and I went to check another email he mentioned that he sent to his boss about me (which when I read it was utter crap).

We've been fighting for weeks about things I won't go into detail about. And I told him yesterday that I had had enough, and that if there was any hope in us actually working, he'd have to get his act together.

He stayed up all night on the computer last night and when I woke up, he was gone (as he does) without leaving a note or even calling to let me know where is he or when he'll be back.

When I opened his account, I found the email he sent this girl and at first I thought it was some sort of spam, but there are details in there and names that I've blocked out etc.

He's lied to me consistently about various things in past, and most if not all of them are found out days to weeks later.

He also has Schizophrenia, but that's slightly beside the point.

He knows about my parents' divorce and how that if he ever cheated on me, it would be the end of us.

I didn't go looking for this particular email. In fact as often as I do see him flirt somewhat innocently when we're both out (right in front of me, to other women), I never suspected until reading this email that he could or would.

For the record too, he has a history of cheating and being cheated on.

I've posted this because whilst I have gone through many lies and deception from his part, and the fact that he occasionally blames things on me - wrongly ... I need to know what this email says to anyone else if they were in my shoes.

I'm tired and run down and I have had enough. He has taken a lot out of me over the years, and now .... for once ... I actually don't know what to do.

As much as I know that I do need to confront him, he is hardly ever honest with me and has many times lied to my face even when I know in my gut that he is, but have no proof.

I've been fooled before with other issues (because I'm a freakin nice and somewhat naive person and a Christian) ... and at this point, I just really don't want to go through the crap of having to be lied to again.

I know for one thing, that even if he didn't sleep with this person, what he said ... or his massive flirting is an insult and it makes me feel like just another person.

As I said before, I catch him flirting with other women in front of me (and sometimes he doesn't know it himself until I point it out to him) but calling someone else sweetheart, angel, sexy etc is pretty deep ... especially when you're married.

But I don't know what to do.

Answer 1

From this letter alone and aside from your past experiences, my first impression is that he is seeking attention from this woman. He is flirting and expressing his interest in her, possibly fishing to see if she feels the same. This email is NOT just a "hey nice catchin up with you, see you around" email, this is a flirtatious email, which, if it were me on the receiving end, I would think that this married man DEFINITELY has a thing for me.

What they would do about it from here I cannot say - he obviously doesnt expect to see her frequently since he is wishing her happy holidays, but it is still uncalled for. If the shoe were on the other foot, this email sounds strangely intimate.

Do what your gut tells you. You know him better than anyone else. If you feel like something is off, then it is.

good luck

Answer 2

Ok Mrs. Dee first off, woman to woman if you look for something, you are going to find something. But maybe you just happended up on this email. Do you all share an email acct or did you "find" his password? I don't know. But why even stress yourself out like this about an email. Did he come home to you tonight? If yes, don't go popping off at the mouth or give your mate major attitude about this. When we "happen" up on stuff that our mates do, we must communicate. Trust me, if there is something more to it to learn, you will find out directly from him. But you must remain calm, natural, and confident - as if you know nothing. Now, if he didn't come home tonight - Houston, we have a problem. First, what are you planning on doing with the evidence? Is there a major trust factor in your relationship? If you are skeptical about what your mate does on a daily basis when you all are not together, perhaps you should start with more communication -ask your mate, how his day went and what were the highlights of his day. Obviously from the looks of this flirtatious email, there is an issue somewhere. It may be an innocent "gesture" to someone that he desires but cannot have. But then again, there may not be anything to this. People flirt, men flirt and woman flirt. Yeah, the note is a little on the "I want you/I miss you tip." But the bottom line is, talk to your man girl and see what is on his mind. But be tactful, confident, and keep an open mind and most of all.....listen.

Answer 3

I'm sorry, but he is cheating. No guy would message a girl like that and just be kidding, and you can be sure it isn't the first time he has done it. To make it even worse, he lied to you about it when you confronted him. At least if he had come clean you could have worked on it. Break up with him, get tested for STDs, and tell the other girl she should get tested too. I'm so sorry and good luck.

Answer 4

how did you get a hold of this email? is this an email he receive from someone or an email he sent out? He sent this out and saved it or what?

If this email was send out, i do agree, it sounds like he's pursuing something but nothing necessarily went on...other than that hug.

if this is what he received, well the sender certainly has intentions but it is not incriminating for him necessarily. all it says is that he gave her a hug- which could be innocent on his behalf.

If this is your husband you have every right to check emails and correspondence so you can easily confront him about it without worrying abou tbeing accused for "snooping", if it's a boyfriend you can still take the chance but be ready to defend your own half (going into his email, especially if he's not the one who provided you his account info).

If he knows you know his password maybe this is a fake email to see if you snoop or not. i am not quite sure what the scenario is.

whether he's cheating or not you gotta get to the bottom of this email so i would bring it up a.s.a.p

Answer 5

The best thing to do is to confront him as you said, I would watch his facial and physical expressions to see how he reacts - its a shame that men can deny and lie straight to your face and can be so.. convincing. In the end if you stay he will think that no matter he does you'll stay around, he sounds like a cheat and no married man should be writing that type of email to another woman - theres no exceptions what his doing is not called love its called deception.

Answer 6

I don't think he is, at least not physically. Guys are explicit about that stuff when they're actually doing it- they don't hint and beat around the bush about it, like a woman might do. If he were having sex with her, he'd come right out and say something explicitly sexual, especially in a letter to her that he thought was private. There's nothing like that in this letter. I think he's probably just flirting with this other girl and enjoying himself doing it, and he probably doesn't think anything of it. That doesn't make it right, especially if it hurts or offends you. But before you get really angry about it, you should sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk with him and explain your feelings about this subject. If you love him, you owe him that much. Especially when he may not even know he's doing you any harm. It's never wise to jump to conclusions or to make too much stew out of one oyster. The thing to do right now is remain calm and talk to him about it.

Answer 7

Well, it doesn't sound like he is cheating on you with this woman (if he was cheating he would see her again before XMas), but I doubt that isn't because he doesn't WANT to cheat on you with her.

Not knowing the guy I have no idea if he is a harmless flirt regularly, but personally this whole email does not exactly look great to his character. This guy is definitely lusting for something else even if he hasn't found someone to cheat on you with.

Answer 8

Well I think he likes this women, possible would cheat with her, But Like must men he is just fishing, Not sure what to tel you, If he leaves his e-mail open where you can see it, I would make it my business to let him know that you know about this. Then I would send her a nice friendly e-mail telling her you are his wife/s/o whatever.

But it does sound like a guy flirting, and doing a little fishing, He does not want to say e-mail me back that's why he says "if this is the last e-mail i send you" I think he knows she may not e-mail him back.
Talk to your b/f

Answer 9

Cheating is an old fashioned word. Your guy is out right giving this woman the go ahead to make his day. Oh, yeah, she already did with a hug! What part of this is making you doubt? I am extremely sorry that you found out about his lack of character this way but sooner than later. Please remove yourself from this "he" as soon as possible. Best to you!

Answer 10

If your husband wrote this email yes he is clearly expressing interest in another girl. Confront him, listen to his response, tell him how you felt about finding and reading it, ask for his undivided attention and commitment in the future. Be aware of his behaviour and seek counselling for you both if possible. All the best.