do you find it easier to love your children when you get older?

Question

i never used to tell my kids i was proud of them when i was 18 or 19, i was so embarrased as i was never told as a child,but as i got older i was able to tell them without any shame, i feel my older kids missed out ...but they dont...but nowadays i can say im sorry i was in a bad humour, and tell them i love them no problem, but i could not do this when i was a young mum.. anyone else feel they were better as a mature parent..

ncgrl i think it is the way we were brought up, i dont remenber being told i was loved, i suppose i just knew, so when i had my kids young i felt silly saying it, till i realised how important it was that they know xx

fivetoze.......i was the same i was in a controlled marraige, so i say my older children as a way to keep me there, but it was me that had to make the desion, which took 18 years, so i looked on my children as a hinderence, but not now thak god

a mazed ..i agree

Answer 1

No, i always told and still tell my kids everyday that i love them.
My youngest is 9 and the oldest 21,they have never gone to bed at night without me telling them that i love them.
I grew up with leftover love (middle child syndrome) and i always swore to myself that my kids would know each and everyday how much i love and respect them. xxxxx
I know what you mean though.My mam has just started to realise she has me as a daughter,we have become really close since my breakup and i have lived next door to her for 9 years and we were like strangers. x

Answer 2

I have always loved my daughter and told her so, but I was very immature when she was born. I think me being older would have made a difference. I've told her I'm sorry I wasn't a better mom, but she thinks she had a fine childhood. We're very close now and she's a terrific young lady. I think parents often have guilt that maybe we could have done a better job. I always say 'no matter what you do now in raising kids, it will be the wrong thing in 20 yrs.' lol

Answer 3

I wouldn't say it's easier to love them since I'm older. I think I just love them on a different level, for lack of a better description. I mean now we have so much in common and I can be their friend as well as their Mom. My children have never questioned my love for them. We say we love each other every time we talk and have always ever since they learned to talk.

Answer 4

There real with it relies upon one on how close and how oftentimes the youngster sees this guy or woman. A 4 twelve months old can't completely comprehend the concept of demise, nor do i think at that age that it particularly should be particularly defined. they simply might desire to comprehend that the guy is ill, and is going to flow away...... or how ever you may desire to place it. i don't think of taking the youngster to the funeral is a competent or healthful environment the two. Now the 15 twelve months old is a splash distinctive they comprehend what demise is. think approximately to describe why and what from, yet then purely pay attention and answer any questions they might have. And at that age enable them to settle on regardless of if or not they experience mushy or to not visit the funeral. desire that facilitates.

Answer 5

I tell my kids (and other family members) I love them every single time I talk to them. I had a neighbor who lost her favorite nephew. She had just spent the week-end at his wedding and she was so proud of him. She said she regretted not telling him how how she felt about him. That was about 25 years ago and I never forgot it.
My mom wasn't very openly affectionate yet somehow all 4 of her kids are. We all turned out to be good, loving, parents. I'm sure your kids knew how you felt. Remember, actions speak louder than words.

Answer 6

I never had any trouble expressing my love for my children. As you grow older, I think it only gets stronger, and you appreciate them more. I know all families don't share this feeling because some kids are abused or mistreated. My heart goes out to them. Every child should be loved and treated with compassion.

Answer 7

I dont have children but I do believe my mother was the same as you. Not exactly sure why but it was about 10 years before she died that she would finally say I love you.

Didnt make her any less of a mother however, she was the best I could have ever hoped for and then some.

Answer 8

I've always loved mine but was so busy surviving with them when they were young that it is easier to express it now. My son in his 30's probably doesn't believe it as much as the others. But my daughters know and the oldest and the youngest appreciate what we all survived getting them grown. They have accepted my apology for things done in ignorance while raising them.

Answer 9

Guess I was lucky when I was growing up as mom always told us kids that she loved us. When we done something good or she saw that we tried hard to do something, she always told us that we done a good job.

I have always told my kids that I love them as well. I love my kids today as much as I loved them back when they were small. They got lots of hugs and I love yous then and still do to this day. I have always been very close to my kids. They are now 27 and 23.

Answer 10

Hmmmmm -
You ask -"anyone else feel they were better as a mature parent?"
Yikes . . . what is mature?
I'm a grandparent now, and feel that some of my offspring behave in ways that are totally unacceptable to me - no matter who their parents may be!!! If/when someone behaves badly - such as carry a prejudice against members of another 'race' (color), based on their own judgments - I will not abide this... or, when someone lies or steals from another - I can't tolerate this either . . . my 'kids' are adults - what choices they make have an effect on whether or not I associate with them, as such. . . Because I brought them into this world? does not give them some unconditional birth right to behave in ways that I wouldn't, and expect me to 'luv' and accept them - because they 'came' from me . . . nope.