Help! My wife is driving me crazy!?

Question

It seems like anything my wife and I do it ends up in a fight. Recently I was putting up Christmas lights and ended up realizing the ladder I bought this past summer with my money was not tall enough to reach the roof in one spot. Wife basically tells me to climb on the roof(after I told her I didn't feel comfortable) or why we bought a ladder that didn't reach the top. It seems like everything I do is questioned and I am not trusted by her. To top it off we never have sex and when we do it is the same and boring.

I should preface I have self esteem issues. I feel like I never get any attention from her but when i do she is sarcastic and makes fun of me by calling me an idiot, etc. She gets mad at me because she says I never talk to her, which is true because when I do I get made fun of.

I know I could probably use some help talking over my issues with a proffesional but when i have asked her to go with me she refuses. I don't want to divorce but we have lost our spark

Answer 1

Well I understand sarcasm as it is in my blood. You are going to have to stand up for yourself and just let her have it just as much as she does to you.If she calls you an idiot you say OK genius why dont you get up on the roof and put the lights up. With the sex thing I think that just comes with married life anyways. I have not heard to many men say my wife always wants sex and I dont know what to do.You have to work also on your self esteem issues. for me this is my motto. IF you dont like me the get the FLOCK outs my life. I love myself and I will not put up with any kinda of crap.I am afraid your on a one sided thing if she does not wish to get help then your marriage might not last much longer.

Answer 2

been married almost ten years, great loving wife but often does the same things,

To make ours work, I simply ask if she would like to do it instead, she bitches and walks away, she has now learned not to bother gripping or to do it herself.

Although not the perfect cure, it works for us,

She pretty much complained about everything but the way I cut and maintain the lawn....

Now she rarely complains because I just wont do the lights or whatever anymore,

good luck, remember, it's not usually worth fighting over, you can talk to her about it before hand as well. then there is a clear plan on how you are going to complete a task...

Answer 3

You lost your spark? Get it back. She wasn't a shrew when she married you, so what made her this way? You're not talking to her, so she feels rejected. When you do talk to her, she becomes defensive and mean. Take the first big boy step and do something HUGE to show how much you love her and want to fix your problems. Then sit down and really hash it out, coming to some conclusions. Let her know you don't like it when she talks to you like that, or you'll have a horrible marriage for life. Be open and honest, but if she rejects your big plea, then it might be time for a change.

Answer 4

Go to a professional anyway. Trust me, maybe she does not mean to , but she is doing damage to you psychologically .... it's time that you sort out what you really want and need in your life. I've been through a very similar ordeal with a woman that told me one thing and did the exact opposite, and it does quite the number on a person over time... its good that you see and realize whats going on, but you have to stand up and do something about it now, before it gets worse.

You unfortunately have no control over her actions,, but you can fix yourself.... getting help is all you can do right now, and armed with the right knowledge will clear things up in your life, whichever way the road leads you.. GOOD LUCK

Answer 5

talk to a pro and then if she still acts the same way tell her how you feel she needs to stop hurting you and you need to stop letting her this is not good for any relationship. my self esteem has been boosted lately and now i am out of my husbands house he put me down and treated me like i could do no right. talk to someone about this and try to resolve the issues sounds like you still have a chance to make it work

Answer 6

Have you ever think that maybe it's the real feeling of your wife??Maybe you are not capable to be a husband?? and maybe you always do something without thinking first ??? then if the answer is yes...it could be you the wrong person..but if the opposite answer so your wife could be sick in brain...

Answer 7

First things first... You have to work on you... You have to get a back bone... Don't let anybody speak to you in that manner... She should not be calling you dumb, stupid or anything... that is disrespectful... You should go to counseling by yourself... They will be able to tell you what you need to do for you... Then what you need to do to work on your relationship... I believe that she refuses to go to counseling because she is in denial... She does not want to face the fact that there is something wrong in the relationship... She may need to attend anger management sessions to control her behavior... If she goes from happy to angry in a split second, she may be bipolar... You have to "DO YOU" first...

Answer 8

Buy a ladder tall enough, and then get her to help you move the freaking heavy thing. God, I have ladders... let me tell you. So tall that one average-sized guy cannot move them. Get one of those, and then when she cannot help you move it, tell her, well should have thought of that before you opened your pie hole.

Answer 9

She doesn't respect you and you let her run over you.
Go talk to a professional by yourself. They should be able to guide you to gaining self esteem and working on your marriage problems. Go NOW!

Answer 10

You have lost your wifes love and respect. a long time ago..She is treating you like dirt!!! Go find a good Marriage counselor and go whether she goes or not...then when nothing changes hit her with divorce papers and enjoy dating again..Good luck..