Albert broke my Electricity Generator.........?

Question

He's been out the back all night banging and hammering away at it to try and fix the damn thing. I've missed all my tv programs tonight and not very happy about the whole thing. Last week it was the mantelpiece clock and the week before that it was the hoover. I'm at my wits end, and all i want to do is gain custody of the procurator fiscal's carburettor as it makes a hell of a noise first thing in the morning. I have no power. I'm at Elsie's sending this message as she doesn't have a lazy useless good-for-nothing layabout for a husband who breaks her Electricity Generator. What should i batter him with when i get back home? Thanks

Answer 1

rolling pin works for me every time. Who could be arsed to make pastry these days anyway. Plus it is insulated, so if you batter him while he is electrocuting himself on the generator, you won't be harmed. Avoid annoying a procurator fiscal, though, or you could end up buried beneath the floor of the local masonic lodge.

Answer 2

you poor thing is he at it again, does he not have a hobby like fishing or something, if not send hin to the pub maybe then you could get some peace, or just hit him with your shoe (heels) haha

Answer 3

For one strange moment I thought you'd wired up your vibrator to the electricity supply!!! Mind you, beat the car battery!

Answer 4

Get a battery operated vibrator, then you won't need to worry when the electricity is off

WTF?

Answer 5

I see Albert is at it again. Send him to the pub.

Answer 6

Mmhmm, you should. Tell Albert that it's time that he gets a repairer.

Answer 7

Hit him with your computer. Make sure it smashes into lots of pieces.

Answer 8

nothing he's going to want to mend, that's for sure! diane.

Answer 9

huh

Answer 10

THANKS FOR THE POINTS