Is it harder for women to say no?

Question

and set limitations? This applies to work, home, family etc. If so, is this because we are the nurturers and wired to take care of people?

This was inspired by Tera, but I know I have struggled with this myself.

LOL @ Delicious. I think you're bringing up men's weakness in an entirely different department. Another day and a whole list of other questions may have to be dedicated to that issue.

Delicious: I'm sure the majority of it is controlled by that department indirectly, if not directly.

Answer 1

There exists a social standard in many cultures where a person will say everything but no.

Specifically with women, there have been times and places where women did not have the option of saying no.

I know a good deal of women from other cultures who will do the 'anything but no,' deal. That is to say, they go out of their way to SEEM acquiescent and agreeable, all the while their 'out' is already planned.

"Oh I'm so sorry, I just couldn't!" which still isn't no.

I theorize that this comes into play in the sexual arena, also. Now that it is no longer a mortal sin (thanks, Catholicism!) to deny a husband sex, women must creatively say no, or the world would be so stinking overpopulated!

Hm. IS it harder for women to say no? I suppose it depends on what you are asking them for, and, of course, the way you ask. Probably. Not sure why this is, though.

Probably, it comes from the 'caregiver' drive. Possibly even the desire to seem ready to please to avoid unpleasantness, as would have been necessary centuries ago. Probably something between the two.

Answer 2

Hold on..you're probably going to laugh, but I actually took a college class in assertiveness training so I could learn how to say no...and I STILL struggle with this issue on a daily basis! Some of us really are natural-born people-pleasers, and some , like me, are highly empathic: that is, they feel the emotions of others so vividly, so deeply, that they can relate in such a way that makes it difficult to say "no" to someone else's heartfelt request, even if saying "yes" means we will be drained, or exhausted, or overwhelmed in some way. I don't know if this is something women have more of a problem with than men, but I'm guessing maybe it could be. Perhaps it is because we have been conditioned to be in the care-taker role. Or, perhaps it is because we've been conditioned to be more empathic. I really don't know. But I do know that there are men who have these issues, too. Just how common is it for men (compared to women)? I'm not sure. Perhaps a question I should pose to my psych professor-?

Answer 3

I think that saying "no" comes with practice just like anything else, but men are more encouraged to practice the kind of confrontation it takes to say it gracefully. It isn't easy for men either sometimes, but the big thing is practice. I had a hard time saying it at first, but so did my brothers. We have all gone through the issues attached to it, and we've all handled it differently, but today, I have no problem declining anything that I don't believe in.
There is an issue with women saying no because we tend to equate "I'm not going to" with "I can't" which means that saying no is percieved as an admission of overload, weakness, or poor skill.
In a world that tells us we can have education, marriage, family, clean houses, gourmet meals, and stellar careers all at the same time, to say "no" suggests failure to achieve that (impossible) standard,so women probably are sometimes more challenged by that image.

Answer 4

Yes!
This is because women aim to please. We think that our time is not our own; it belongs to anyone and everyone else, and if we can fix something for someone or give something to someone in the 24 hours we have in our day, by God we are going to do it, even if it means that there is no time left for ourselves.
I don't know if it is only because we are the nurturers, but that is part of it. Another part is because we have been raised to put the wants and needs of others first because it isn't "nice" to be self centered and put our own needs in the forefront. We feel guilty when we do this, and yet by not taking care of our own needs we are putting ourselves at risk of mental disorders. Go figure.

Answer 5

I think that most modern woman say no if they really want to. The real answer to the question is that we are expected to be the nurturers, and by whatever means of evolution, hold more responsibility than the majority male gender. We simply choose to say yes to more.

Answer 6

I suspect so. That's one reason I have also exercised restraint in being assertive in relationships, because asking or even hinting at something can make some women feel pressured into doing things they'd rather not do.

Answer 7

I think this is less of a gender thing, than it is a maturity thing.
lol...I honestly know plenty of men that have trouble saying no to me, no matter their age ;)
When I was younger I had trouble saying no.
These days...it's pretty easy in most cases.

Edit Lioness: yeah you're probablly right, girl ;)
but I didnt mean just sexually....

Answer 8

I can say no at a drop of a dime. its pretty easy if you start doing it. Good god I say no all the time.

Answer 9

If it was... the porn industry would not exist.

Short answer: No