I'm fed up, to say the least. I've helped my ex a few times, but I never expected him to treat me like I'm an ATM!!! Right after we both agreed stop all communications, he asked to borrow $500.00... I just want to discourage my ex from asking. NO or please don't ask or I just don't have it doesn't seem to be effective.
2007-11-28 11:00:47 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
say NO and stick to it... if he bugs you ignore him,,, dont cave in. No means nothing if you change your mind
2007-11-28 11:04:17 · answer #1 · answered by kayti 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
The method that works for me. Is when my ex asks for money, I will tell him I would have to see if I have it.... and I just paid my mortage or something else big. So the amount that he asking for seems very small. Then he say well if you don't have all of it, could you at least let me borrow half. Then I have another bill due and needing to pay just as big that you don't think you can let go until pay day. My ex finally got the picture and I would threw in something like the kids needs this and that. I just don't think I will be able to. It works for me
2007-11-28 11:10:29 · answer #2 · answered by springful 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have tried the "no or pleases dont ask or i just dont have it method" then maybe being too nice is the problem I had a friend who constantly expected me to foot the bill on everything just because they know that I am the type of person to not say no, but it got so out of control that I just had to be straight up and say no. Sometimes saying no is what you HAVE to do inorder to get your point across. Dont let people take your kindness for weakness even if their your friends
2007-11-28 11:06:49 · answer #3 · answered by abzy19882006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No works perfectly, if you stick to it. I am no longer married to you, no, and that's final. Hang up, if he calls again tell him to call no more, if it concerns money, that he is never to discuss money with you again. You realy should not have further contact with him, unless there are kids involved. If there are then tell him no and stand your ground, it is the only way he will stop. The first time you tell "anyone" no and then give in they learn not to listen to you, it is the worst thing you can do when you have children, they learn that if they keep on at you, they can get what they want. Therefor you cause your own problems. Your ex is no different. STAND YOUR GROUND !!
2007-11-28 11:33:26 · answer #4 · answered by ferochira 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I saw your problem and just had to answer. My sister did the same thing.She wanted 5 dollors and kept asking for more money. This is waht you should do.
Step one:Invite him over.
Step two-Tell him how you feel about his borrowing money.
Step three-Ask him if he has a job.
Step four-Tell him that you have not much money and need to pay for your own food and living.
2007-11-28 11:08:22 · answer #5 · answered by Tori N. 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you cannot say No to him then you have the problem. He must be an ex for a reason. I would never let my ex borrow 500.00 whatsoever.
2007-11-28 11:03:32 · answer #6 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Say no....but you know sometimes Nice doesn't cut it and from what you said its not working.
so simply don't do it....Stand firm and let him know you have bills to pay as well and since money doesn't grow on the tree in your backyard. Let him know its hard enough to budget your finances without him having to borrow money all the time.
or you could tell him to "GET A JOB" your not an ATM..
2007-11-28 11:13:52 · answer #7 · answered by C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Every time you see or talk to your ex ask to borrow $600 even before saying hello. After a few times at this he will probably not talk to you nearly so often, and he will assume you don't have money to lend him.
2007-11-28 11:04:00 · answer #8 · answered by don_sv_az 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Start asking HIM for money. Go into lengthy detail about how broke you are and how unfair life is. After a few times of the continued tale of woe in your life, he might get the picture and go dig for gold somewhere else.
I had a former co-worker hitting me up last night with his tales of doom, and gloom. I finally started my own litany of troubles and how broke I was and he soon found someone else to bother.
2007-11-28 11:04:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean saying "no" isn't effective?
That means YOU are being wishy-washy and backing down when he insists.
Say no... if he persists, say no again... if he still persists scream NO at him. Tell him what you said here... that you are NOT an atm and he need needs to sort his life out.
There is no more effective way or magical way of saying no, it's simply a matter of sticking to your guns.
2007-11-28 11:05:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
He must be your ex for a reason. anyone that treats you any less than a person is not worth being in your life. i would recommend reevaluating his friendship--if it is there--and go from there. if you need him in your life, then help him get a job...
friends dont do that to friends. he is most likely coming back to you because you cave in.
be strong and know when to walk away.
good luck
2007-11-28 11:04:21 · answer #11 · answered by LaLaLalu 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋