Bisexual couples?

Question

I have recently become emotionally involved with a man. Both of us are bisexual. This is new for both of us, to couple with the opposite sex and still like the same sex. I recently dissolved a twenty year relationship with another woman and he has less experience than I, he has dabbled for only six years in the gay community. The both of us have expressed strong feelings. But now I am experiencing feelings of insecurity because he wants to venture out. He states this will only be sexual and I will remain his primary partner. He has given me no reason to doubt him but I am feeling uncertain.

Answer 1

A bi-sexual person can never remain totally monogamous - the very fact that they like both sexes means that though one will fulfil their needs and, perhaps, be able to build up a long term relationship with them, they will still need the sexual experience of the other.

However, the dangers are there for the both of you to change your mind at some point. Simply look back at your own experience.

I think you need to communicate with each other more so you both come to an understanding which you both agree otherwise either one of you may continue feeling alone and neglected.

Answer 2

The key to a polyamorous relationship is in communication (really, that's the key in any relationship).

Talk about how you feel with him. Talk about it before it happens, but also keep talking about it periodically to make sure you're both still on the same page.
Talk about what you think could happen, good and bad, if he does venture out. If you can agree to allow it, then make sure you both have clear guidelines about what can and can't be done.
Make sure that you each have priority over anyone else that may become involved.
And, if he does venture out to explore his sexuality, then you should as well.

Answer 3

Both me and my boyfriend are bi, both of us have very little experience though. What we are doing is going on a night out together, and (hopefully) find someone just for a night. Might not be everyones idea of a perfect plan. But at least this way we both get to meet the other person, and its both just a one of thing.

Answer 4

Please read the book "The Ethical Sl ut." You may find it very helpful. My husband and I are both bisexual, and have an open relationship, but it takes a lot of communication and a lot of reassurance. We have reached an agreement, but we tall... ALL THE TIME.. we don't keep our feelings to ourselves, we share everything.

It is normal to feel insecure and unsure... even feelings of abandomnet and inadequacy. Keep working together.

Answer 5

Bi or not if you 2 are together then he needs to be faithful to you. Unless you're both open. If he wants to venture let him but dont be sitting around waiting till he's done

Answer 6

I'm with Xodus on this one - a commitment is a commitment. I've not known "open relationships" to work. Doesn't mean it can't happen, I guess. But I haven't heard it. If you want monogamy and he doesn't - you might not be able to make it work.