single mother?

Question

i am a single mother of two girls a 5 year old and a 6 mo old baby by the same father i got pregnant a 16 and he left me and only say her at 5mo 1 1&2 and then at 3 thats when we got back together now we have split up because he is not stable and still childish and in and out of work we were staying with his parents in fl and then thats when i got pregnat and moved back to cecil county with out him well a month later he followed and thing didnt change we were living with his aunt and then i left because he quit his job again and his temper was getting BAD!!!!! now it has been about 2 month and he has only payed child support 3 times 100,80,and150 now he says he has changed he has a good job and he started counceling and he want to get back together and get our own place but i dont know what to believe and on top of that my mom will freak WHAT SHOULD I DO HELP

Answer 1

oh my....well, tell him if he stays with his job for a year, pays child support regularly and continues with counseling that you will consider getting back with him and getting your own place; until then stay put, protect those children and yourself, keep them in a stable secure environment and date him once or twice a week while he proves to you, and himself and your family that he has changed and wants a family

Answer 2

I feel sorry for you. Sounds like the typical Cecil County saga... I just move to SC from Cecil County, Md. Live in North East. Might know ya. Well, honey, this guy is definitely a LOOSER!!! You didn't mention if he is an alcoholic or drug addict...most are one or both in that area. Maybe the sea water, I don't know. Glad I moved away from there... Much happier here. Being a single mom is really tough. Go to the child support enforcement in the Social Services office in Elkton. They will get a court order for child support, get you a divorce-all for free. You know they also have a shelter there to help until you can get on your feet. Start a new life for those children! Good Luck!!!

Answer 3

You might not like the answer, but you need to go on with your life, get an education yes its possible even with two children, get a good job, take him to court for support and visitation. This way if he doesnt pay they will garnish his wages, and he could lose his license and/or go to jail at some point. If he hasnt grown up by now the chances of him getting his act together especially at this point are slim to none. I have been a single mom for 4 yrs and have gotten my own social life, a new wonderful man in my life and a great job. It takes time but it will be soo much better for yourself and the children. If he can prove himself by supporting himself and the children and becoming an adult then maybe its possible for you to work out your relationship. but the fact that he comes and goes as he pleases is not good for you or the children. Go to counseling with him and see if he is truly trying to change, but I wouldnt jump back in with him, he could quit his job, and you could be homeless. Best wishes I know its tough to be alone and raising your kids, but you have 2 children and they need to be getting the love and care they need and have stability in their lives.

Answer 4

I have heard this story so many times. Don't fall for the, "I have changed" lie. Your best bet is to get your life together without him for the time being. If he is truly willing to do what it takes to make things work, then let him prove it by making child support payments on time and being there for his kids before you take him back. Let him know there are consequences to his actions. If you continue to get back with him there is no lesson learned on his behalf. He will continue to do his foolish ways only because he knows you will take him back. Make him liable for his actions and then see how he reacts. Tell him that you are not going to get back with him and see how he reacts. If he blows off the handle, then you know that he was in it for himself. If he is truly sad and says, "I will still be there for the kids", then maybe there is hope for him, but make him prove that he will be there for the kids. Give it time and truly see where his intensions are.

Answer 5

I mean, I dont understand your question, you already knew he wasn't a stable nor a responsible man, yet you continued to have sex, and be in a relationship with him, why is that ? you have to take responsibility for your own life and learn to make better decisions, I dont even know why your thinking he is gonna pay child support, when he doesn't seem capable of taking care of himself. you need to may a decision right now to grow up, and take control of your life, and stop letting men bring you down. dont get into another relationship until you can provide a better life for you and your kids.

Answer 6

I was a single mother as well so I know what you are going through. If I were you I would get rid of him and go to court for court ordered child support and custody. I did that I and I got full custody of my kids and their fathers are ordered to pay. Then I would move on and find someone who makes u happy and who is grown up. I found a man who is almost ten years older than I am and he loves me for me and treats my kids great. I would move on and leave him alone to fend for himself.

Answer 7

I know what you shouldn't do and that's get back with him. There's plenty of single women who make it without the father and there's other available men out there. You've given him plenty of chances. You have 2 kids together it's time for him to grow up and it's time for you to take those kids and move on with your life.

Answer 8

Don't take him back yet.. You've given him enough chances without proof.
If he has really changed, ask him to get an apartment, good furniture and pay his child support faithfully and you will reconsider giving him a second(or third or fourth) chance when he proves he can be a good provider and father.

Answer 9

listen to your mother
leave the guy alone and don't take him back
he won't change for you, if he was going to, he would have done that years ago.