The teacher said writing this was innappropriate?

Question

We had to write about an event and I wrote about the time someone tried to rob my old house but I was home! This is what I wrote. "I looked out my window and saw a car slow down and park outside my house. A man dressed in black walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. I wasn't the Girl Scouts selling cookies, they don't sell them in this neighborhood." Thats what was circled. I also got an F for writing that. Was that innappropriate?

Its IT wasnt the girl scouts.

CARA: sarcastic humor? this wasnt supposed to be funny.

Answer 1

I think your teacher was over sensitive

Answer 2

I just don't think she liked you drawing a connection between the two facts. (She probably has a girl in Girl Scouts.) IT maybe also be the type of style of writing she was looking for in this essay and this doesn't match it.

I was received a D on a test because the answers my teacher expected were things she said in class. Pigeon-holed. Obviously she wasn't asking for specific event, but she my have been expecting a specific type of style in which the event was written. Third person, First Omnipotent, and what not.

Personally, I think that line adds a sarcastic punch, and definitely inflects your personality, so the teacher may have a problem with individuals with strong personalities. All in all, you need to speak (e-mail or what not) her about it, and ask to clarify why she didn't like (or agree with) this passage.

Wish you all the luck.

Answer 3

I think that is completely acceptable. I don't see why any student would be penalized for writing that. I think the topic you chose is a great topic!
If you're looking for constructive criticism, "It wasn't the Girl Scouts selling cookies, they don't sell thim in this neighborhood" is a run-on sentence. And "I looked out my window and saw a car slow down and park outside my house" should be made into 2 sentences; it has too many and's. Maybe that chunk was circled because of the incorrect grammar and punctuation. If your entire paper was written poorly, she could have given you an F only because it was not up to her standards. I would talk about it with your teacher.

Answer 4

I don't think the subject matter was inappropriate but the Girl Scount remark is unnecessary if this was supposed to be a serious piece of writing. So the remark was inappropriate for the story. However, if that was the only thing circled then it doesn't make sense that the paper was give and F. I would show it to your parents and ask the teacher to explain why you got the grade.

Answer 5

You are writing from life experience, which is what makes a story interesting. It doesn't seem wrong at all.

It is your studies and your class, you have a right to know "why" it is wrong. There must be more of a reason that you got an F.

Go to the teacher at a suitable time and speak to them about your paper. Ask why it was circled, what is innapropriate about it, and why does that teacher think that this small phrase is enough to give an F....if that is all it is.

If the teacher is a good teacher, he/she will thoroughly explain and back up their thoughts with good judgments. If they do not, and are impatient or do not want to hear you, I suggest you relay this to a Dean or Principal, but in all honesty, it won't go to that.

Answer 6

I think that it could be considered reverse racism. My sister (who is African American - she's adopted) got in trouble for telling another African American student that she didn't like "black people" (her words)....the Principal told my mother that the school had a Zero Tolerance for Racism and it didn't matter who made the remark or why...she got 3-day in school suspension.

I understand that you were probably simply using it to make an observation....but it's getting to the point that it's simply not tolerated of why. Shoot...the girl scouts don't sell in my neighborhood either...but what does that mean? Nothing.

Edit: Well I knew that I was going to get thumbs down....BUT I bet after talking to your teacher that she says that I was at least partly correct. I'm sorry that your house got broken into...it happen to me & my sister when my parents were out for the evening...it was very scary and I don't think that I have slept without a light on since (and I'm 34 now)

Answer 7

Perhaps it was the grammar that got an F. It should have read,"A man dressed in black walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. It wasn't the Girl Scouts selling cookies BECAUSE they don't sell them in this neighborhood."

Answer 8

A teacher can't give you a F for having sarcastic humor in a paper. At least not one I ever wrote for. I would fight the grade. Making light of a serious situation is a coping mechanism people use to get through a traumatic event. If the teacher took a minute to think she have would realized that and maybe just asked you not to do that again.

Answer 9

You got an F just for writing that sentence? That's bogus. Maybe the teacher thought you weren't being serious...after all, how on earth would you think he was 'robbing' your house if he rang the doorbell??? weird..

Answer 10

maybe it was the teacher that tried to break in?
no, im just joking!

maybe the teacher thought that by writing this that you were saying the neighborhood is so bad that even the girl scouts wont come to it. possibly that offended the teacher because they live in that neighborhood and bad people are what makes a bad neighborhood. it could be seen as offensive

Answer 11

It's all on how it is interpreted. I think you should talk to the teacher about it. Obviously you are talking about your neighborhood, so why would it be construed as inappropriate? Your teacher is being way over sensitive and I would bring it up to your parents. She can't give you an F for that. I wouldn't accept it.