Ive been dating this guy for 3yrs he is 38 im 21 (i know i know what am i doing w him) great guy awesome cares about me a lot i know for sure that he loves me amzing i couldnt ask for someone better....But he wont stop talking abt his ex wife...ive told him it bothers me, ive changed the subject...but somehow someway he always gets the chance to talk abt her or how he puts it"relating" i understand he was hurt but dude come on!!!! My question is why does he keep talking abt her???? is there something wrong w him and if there is let me know! Im starting to feel like im living in her shadow.....
2007-11-28 10:18:49 · 9 answers · asked by Ginger86 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe he moved on too soon! He still loves her, I catch myself sometime, I find myself talking to much about my ex and not about my husband! So I think sometimes sometimes I think to myself do I wish sometimes my ex was my husband.... But I never discuss my ex with my husband.... I do have that much sense! Just evaluate how long you guy's have been together and then just sum it up if it drags on much longer maybe you guy's should regroup and redo the relationship! Meaning let it die for awhile because he still have feelings for her.... Oh one other thing, not everyone speaks against you dating older people! Sometimes older men make the best relationships, especially since the maturity level goes extremely high the older you get sometimes, well suppose to for most anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good Luck
2007-11-28 10:30:13 · answer #1 · answered by rita_hiemy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not over the break-up. It doesn't mean he is not over her or that he still loves her, but he is not over the divorce.
You see, we sometimes feel we know it all, know our partner, know life...and then it comes and slaps you in the face. Looks like he needs to solve some issues first, find some answers and then, start a new relationship.
Do this, sit down with him and have a heart to heart talk. Don't attack or whine, talk. Tell him you wonder why he is always talking about her, ask him if he needs a person to listen to him, and get ready to listen and not open your mouth. If there is enough trust between you, he will open up, and it's more than likely that he will realize what a wonderful, caring, human being he has as a girlfriend.
If he won't talk, don't hold your hopes too high.
2007-11-28 18:40:51 · answer #2 · answered by startplayer1967 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure if they ended on good terms or not, but I don't think it's anything you should worry about. Sure, if he's CONSTANTLY talking about her, it would really piss me off, but if it's just every once in a while, I wouldn't mind.
You've been dating for 3 years and I'm pretty sure he's committed to you and is in love with you, so I wouldn't question that. In fact, I think he's just feeling so comfortable with you, that he feels he can tell you anything (which you may or may not want to know).
It's not a negative thing :) If it's truly making you feel that uncomfortable, the best thing you can do is just reiterate the fact that you think he's talking too much about her. You can't expect him to NEVER mention her... I mean the fact is, she was MARRIED to him. Part of his life history is with this chick and he'll want to share stories about that at some point. But you can ask him to not talk about it ALL the time.
2007-11-28 18:26:24 · answer #3 · answered by Cochy 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You, my dear, are young and insecure.
He had a life with his ex wife, spent years with her, had adventures, good times and bad ones. Are you saying that he should forget several years of his life, just to keep you happy? That is pretty damn selfish. Afterall, if that relationship hadn't happened, there is an excelent chance that either you would never have met or that he would not be that caring person you have now.
Either way, you are totally young, you're inexperienced (emotionally) and you're dating a guy who has depth and wisdom that only age can bring.
2007-11-28 18:26:10 · answer #4 · answered by Judo Chop 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It pains me to say this but his behavior is probably not a good sign. He is not making himself present to you while he is with you. And, worse yet, he does not take you seriously when you say stop it. Even if it was his only serious relationship ever and he relates everything to it, its looks like he is obsessing over her. Maybe you could ask him what it would take to make him feel better about his relationship with her being over.
2007-11-28 18:33:27 · answer #5 · answered by Nick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look it takes time for people to get over someone, he loves you right....just be careful on how you bring it up, i mean he married the woman...
He will move on completely in fact to get him to stop talking about his wife, do things that his wife would never do...hehe..and that meeting you was the next thing to God in his life..
2007-11-28 18:24:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He's not over her. Watch out, Don't be surprised if he goes back to her. And, yes you are living in her shadow.
2007-11-28 18:32:36 · answer #7 · answered by just me 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is what happens when you date a younger man.
I know he is much older than you chronologically in terms of years, but the reality is he is still a little boy.
Good luck.
2007-11-28 18:22:19 · answer #8 · answered by box of rain 7 · 2⤊ 3⤋
he's still in love with HER, not you; dump him and go have fun!
2007-11-28 18:21:49 · answer #9 · answered by abc 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋