can someone help me to fix this paragraph and to make sound professional meaning college level?

Question

i need suggestions the main thing that i want to change is the first sentence but i dont know how i tried but i cant come up with something else....any tips or suggestions that will make it sound better, this is a summary of the authors argument is not my idea (originally)



Like most Americans, Superman is an immigrant but he is an exceptional one. As many immigrants come from other countries by earthly transportation, Superman crash-lands on earth from another planet in his rocket ship. Superman and American immigrants are different but go through the same necessities for a better life. Engle points out that his superpowers are “equivalent” to cultural characteristics that make immigrants stand out. Superman, like foreign settlers, dominates two personalities, one for his social life and other for his domestic life. He simulates fragility and human characteristics to the public as Clark Kent. At home, he reveals his powerful and heroic character as Superman, along with a costume to protect his “human” identity. Altogether, immigrants and this heroic figure have new identities in their lives to assimilate into the American society.

Answer 1

I am afraid I have to more or less agree with the answerer before me, I couldn´t think of anything that would make it "more professional sounding". Not wanting to come over as rude, but are you sure you understand Engle´s argument?

You say the paragraph is a summary of his argument, to make that more "professional" (not in terms of writing style, but content) you will need to expand a bit and actually make clear what Engle is talking about.

Your summary sounds a bit "patchy" to me... make sure you fill the gaps. Inhowfar are Superman and other immigrants similar, what are the "necessities" they both go through? What does Engle mean exactly when he says American immigrants "dominate two personalities"? Inhowfar do immigrants have a new identity when they just move to a different country? Etc.

As an introductory sentence, I think you head straight off into your argument or body. How about rather starting with Engle´s thesis (that is, if you agree with him) and than elaborate on it the way you did?

Answer 2

Like most Americans, Superman is an immigrant, albeit an exceptional one. As many immigrants come from foreign countries by earthly transportation, Superman arrived on earth from another planet by way of rocket ship. Although different, Superman and American immigrants found America as a result of their search for a better life. Engle points out that Superman's abilities are "equivalent" to cultural characteristics that make immigrants stand out. Superman, like foreign settlers, dominates two personalities: one for his public persona, the other for his private life. He reflects fragility and human characteristics to the public as Clark Kent. At home, he reveals his powerful and heroic character as Superman, utilizing a costume to protect his "human" identity. Immigrants and this heroic figure share this trait: new identities with which to assimilate into American society.

Run it through a Spell Check to make sure it's right.

Answer 3

Try something like ...

Superman; American, Superhero, and Immigrant. Although most immigrants come from other counties by earthly transportation, Superman crash-lands on the earth by rocket ship and must assimilate just as an immigrant would.

Answer 4

Superman is an immigrant, like most Americans, however he is an exceptional one. All you need to do is go through the paper and reword it. Read it out loud and see how it sounds now. Then go back and make it sound more natural.

Answer 5

The only way I would start out is: "Superman, like most Americans, is an immigrant, but an exceptional one"

Answer 6

you can't make it seem much more 'profesianal' looking