is an online affair really cheating?

Question

my husbands messenger logged on automatically when I turned the computer on. As soon as it logged in a women popped up and said "I miss you" *rushes to your side*. I typed a few vague things to see what was what and well.....it wasn't pretty. I thought we had a great relationship. I'm carrying his child. I'm going to confront him when he comes home (if not sooner). Am I wrong to feel betrayed?

Answer 1

No, you are not wrong to feel betrayed. He obviously hid this from you. They may not have done anything physcial with one another. Sometimes an emotional affair is harder to swallow than a physical one. Anytime your better half hides something from you, it is cheating. On top of that you're carrying his child??!!! WTF is that??!!! You have every right to feel the way you feel, especially now. He has NO excuse whatsoever to do what he's doing. NONE!!

Answer 2

First of all, like said above, an emotional affair is the same as a physical affair. Although, he didn't physically cheat on you, he is sharing the energy, feelings, thoughts, questions, attention that should be spent on you with this other girl. The only way that it would not be cheating is he told you about it in the beginning and you were ok with that. My definition of cheating is; if whatever your doing with this other person you cannot do in front of your significant other , then its cheating. If you can do it in front of them and they would be ok with it, then its not cheating. So, ask yourself.. are you ok with it?.... then its cheating! I understand that your in a rut right now being pregnant and all and I'm sure that you love him so you don't want to leave him anyway... but this is a real problem because it only gets worse. Next time, he'll call another girl... after that he'll see another girl. He's the cheatin kind and its better if you take care of it now, because its gonna kill in the end. Good luck

Answer 3

I mean don't jump to conclusions, look this is what you do; you act like she said more than you found. When you talk to him tell him she told you that she loved him, and that she was planning on running away with him, and that she knew she was pregnet or something so that way if he was he is just going to come out with it.. I did that once, and it takes some superb acting to pull it off, but when i did it the person told me some crazy stuff, and then i reminded them i was lying.. they would of never told me that if i didn't lie..

But also hear him out, and when you do, you half littlerly record everything he says and why he says it...then leave the room or area, and think about everything he said....then come back and say and make up your mind...tell him that the computer is now mine, and you put a password on there so only you can use it...

I mean you are pregnant, your in deep with this guy, so you can't leave at least not off that, but he must be punished, i mean if he is going to play child games he is going to get treated and punished like a child.....

I mean i don't know too much about cheating, ive never done it....and never lie.....so i understand people that do...I wish i had a women like you...

But yeah be firm and try to get more out of him, hold your feelings in there, and take a break..go leave drive around, go somewhere quiet and pray think about things...

Answer 4

How can you question your feelings of betrayal? You must be in shock - yes, of course you have been betrayed and you have every right to feel betrayed, angry, upset, deceived, and all the other emotions that come with a devastating discovery like this.

What you need to find out is how far it has progressed. Whatever the facts, he has the intention. I'm so sorry for you.

Good luck x

Answer 5

You can't be wrong to feel something. It's how you feel! Unless your relationship was "open" and he had permission, anything beyond friendship with another woman is cheating! It's about respecting you and the grounds of your marriage. Forsaking all others... relationships have an assumption of "mongamy unless stated otherwise" and he ignored that.
Talk to him about it for sure! It's okay to feel incredibly hurt, confused and betrayed right now. Make sure you have someone to talk to. And don't let him tell you it's nothing. He's done something wrong. Hold him accountable!
xx

Answer 6

Yes. Sounds as though he was hiding this from you. He surely didn't tell you" honey I am talking to this lady on line and goofing around". He was being sneaky. I do not concider this an affair unless this has been going on for a good amount of time. It could just be a fantasy thing just to get him going. Still a big no no. I would talk to him and tell him it is either you and the baby or him talking to other women on the internet. Threaten him and really mean it.

Answer 7

i would say it can lead to cheating, but it's fine to feel hurt and betrayed by this. it looks like you 2 may need to talk more if you thought it was a great relationship. probably time to chat and figure out what's been said. sorry your in that situation, i've been in one very similar. it hurts
(by the way while he's not home, uninstall messenger that be really great for him)

Answer 8

Need to talk now rather than later. Yes its cheating to a certain degree. But you also have to factor in that it could be a B.O.T as well, sometimes they act like there just one of you and so on. But if already checked that out, sure he having an online kinda relationship. Also bare in mind that some men act different when there wife is prego, there hormones are raging in a different way.....

Answer 9

No your not wrong for feeling like that if i was you i would feel betrayed too. you really do need to talk to him about it because your the only woman he needs in his life not some chick on the computer especially if your carrying his child that should mean a lot to him.

Answer 10

Honey, before you take any decision you need to talk to him and clarify the issue, is considered a cheating in level 1 still need another 2 level to be conclusive and unforgiven thing.
Look after your health at this stage.