savageable, should I at least try it, or just go on with the seperation?
2007-11-28 08:53:08 · 24 answers · asked by Josh0607 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
what is the harm in trying? If you don't feel your marriage is worth saving then why did you even bother to get married in the first place.
2007-11-28 08:58:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try it! If you dont at least give it a chance you'll be wondering for the rest of your life it it could've worked out between the both of you just by going to to talk to someone.
Trust me, I thought me and my husband had too many issues to work throught for our marriage to be worth it, but I went to counseling and I am so glad I did.
Instead of just giving up, why not work on it? Marriages aren't easy- they are a lot of hard work. They take a lot of effort and elbow-grease in order to shine. I hate to see a couple divorce because they dont want to try, and I see it all the time. Granted, some people just arent meant to be together. But how will you ever know if you don't try?
Just remember, with a marriage and with many other things in life, you get out of it what you put into it. Think about it.
I sincerely hope you and your husband are able to reconcile. Best wishes.
2007-11-28 17:08:26 · answer #2 · answered by Kris W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your suppose to marry for life that is what your vows say. if you cannot put in the effort then why did you marry in the first place. Your husband deserves the right to give your marriage a fighting chance. Really if you do not fight for what you had then why did you marry him.
Come on we all know marriage is like a rollercoaster that loses a bolt here and there if it wasn't hard work then everyone would do it and we wouldn't have divorce.
I think you may have come to the boring point in your marriage and well do not think there is enough spark to keep it going. You would be wrong maybe it is time to recapture your youth and things you did when he was courting you like dancing, going to the night clubs, out to the movies, out to dinner, having gratuitous amounts of sex wherever and whenever. Really you can bring back the fire it just takes hardwork and some determination and imagination.
If you love your man then make it work divorce is for the weak be strong.
May God Bless You and your Marriage and may the Angels of Heaven help repair it.
EVERYTHING IN LIFE THAT IS WORTHWHILE AND GOOD TAKES HARDWORK AND COMMITMENT.
2007-11-28 17:05:17 · answer #3 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You give it a try it. You both have to be determine to make this work though and it seems that your husband already agree to it and that a big plus. Seeing that he is willing to work on the marriage and is willing to go to COUNSELING should make you want to. He must really deep down inside care about the relationship. Do not let someone like that go. Not a lot of husband want to go to counseling. Ever couple has problems because nobody or nothing is perfect. Remember that.
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2007-11-28 17:45:23 · answer #4 · answered by Miss thing 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not know it is salvageable until you try counceling. If you try counceling and it still isn't working then you can say you did your best. I would also make sure you have a long talk with your husband. Try to figure out what made the each of you fall in love with one another. Both of you should do those special things like love letters and such that you once did when you first fell in love. Talk about how you met and what fun you had. Make sure you both go on dates at least twice a month with just the two of you. If none of that works then divorce.
2007-11-28 16:59:14 · answer #5 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in your shoes and we went to counseling and really it was useless. We even tried two different therapists.Sorry-but i am being honest. If you feel it's over than for you it is. Why try and force something to work and end up miserable. People grow apart quite often and I don't see what the big deal is with divorce-it's beats staying with someone you don't love and being unhappy for the rest of your life. Do what you feel in your heart. This "sacred bond" crap kills me. Yeah-you were in love when you married-but how do you really know it's forever-people change and that doesn't make you a bad person.
2007-11-28 17:02:03 · answer #6 · answered by trixibel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the marriage is in that bad shape, then you should probably let it go.
Now get ready for this: how about inventing a new relationship with this man you already know a lot about??
It is possible to choose to love someone; to work with them and wish well for them and be grateful for them. If you want to, you can build a new life with him that serves both of you better.
Doing what you've been doing will just get you more of what you've been getting. It's time for both of you to grow and change. You can do it!
I've been there. I strongly recommend "Getting The Love You Want" by Harville Hendrix. Buy it and work on the exercises with your counselor's help.
It sounds like your husband wants to be with you. That's a big first step. Sounds like you're not out the door yet...
Give it a try! Good luck!
2007-11-28 16:56:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
you should used every avenue to save your marriage, I would give it a nod to work at it before you throw in the towel. What ever shut off your feeling you should try hard to turn it back on. Also you must seek deep inside of you when you do this, or this will be just a waste of time and feeling. Good luck...
2007-11-28 17:06:09 · answer #8 · answered by Thomas 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont bother seperating. Divorce is the way to go. You wont give counseling a real effort so why fake it and lie to everyone?
2007-11-28 16:57:37 · answer #9 · answered by Bob D 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Go to counseling. Divorce should be the last resort, not the first. You can visit this website: www.smartmarriages.com for other resources and a list of therapists in your area. Good luck.
2007-11-28 16:57:47 · answer #10 · answered by Dena 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋