why do we lose interest in having sex with our partner and want to look elsewhere?

Question

was married 24 years and recent divorce mostly feeling intimacy died.

Answer 1

Because we start caring more about ourselves then our spouse.

NOTHING is a bigger turn on than a spouse who wants to turn you on.

Both need to work at it all the time.

I screw my husband more now than ever.

Answer 2

I can only liken it to a child playing with a brand new toy. They play with it so long as it is new and exciting and then they gradually go away from it towards another new toy. Granted that this is a "dumbed down" analogy, but it still applies. The lesson here is to try and keep the sex in our lives exciting and new with the same person. Even if it involves inviting others into the bedroom. Keep the intimate sex for special times and use the kinky sex as the "new toy."

Answer 3

There are many reasons for this, boredom, spouce looses interest, unwillingness to try new things to spice up your sex life, etc. The list goes on and on and is different for everyone. Personally my wife pretended to be something she wasn't when we got married. I had a long talk with her about what I wanted in the marrage as far as sex and she agreed completely. Immediatly after marrage she started acting differently and as soon as she got pregnant all pretenses dropped! She let me know quickly the she was very conservative and wouldn't act like a "wild woman" as she put it.
So, I would say HONESTY and communication before marrage is the most important thing!

Answer 4

Hmmm I think I hear what Texasman is saying. When you have a spouse that decides once they are married to you it's ok to turn the passion down and become closed minded in bed it becomes frustrating and boring.

I think with an open mind and an adventerous spouse the fires can keep alive.

Answer 5

For men it can be about looks. The wife may have gained weight or doesn't take the time to fix herself up anymore. For women it's more about feeling connected emotionally. Both sides need to remember what attracted them to their mate to begin with and go from there. It takes work to make a marriage last and most people forget to put the effort into it. I know I did once and I've learned my lesson.

Answer 6

Everything's different with someone else. The grass may even look greener, because it's new. But it too will settle, unless they both either setttle, or work at it. Because when it comes down to it, all marriages are the same at the core. But it's what u do to keep it alilve and sustain it that can make all the difference.

Answer 7

It's all one big cycle. First you're not happy cuz he's not doing this or that. Then you focus on you just to cope and stop doing the things you used to do for him. Now he's not happy and no one is willing to compromise and we can never seem to really remember what or when it happened.

Oh sorry - I was digressing on my own marriage. I think it takes a lot of hard work on BOTH parties.

Answer 8

It's because the partner does everything they can to make the sex boring or unsatisfying. If people would just do their partners the way they want to be done, there'd be a lot less cheating going on.

Answer 9

Because after people get married, they feel that once they are married, they don't have to work at keeping the flame lit.

Something I recomend is couples go on dates regularly, that way you both are able to keep close with each other.

Answer 10

I feel there must be passion on both sides. Without both people feeling passionate and desiring one another, the intimacy will die. Can't be a one-way street.

Answer 11

It only happens to me after the guy wonders into some other girls bed. I think me just get bored and can't keep a vow no matter how good you are to them.

There is always another good looking chick that gets a rise out of them.