My husband has just told me that...........................?

Question

that he isn't happy here with me and our kids and doesn't want to be here but he is because that's the right thing to do. He says he loves us but is unhappy. I don't know what to do cuz I really love him but don't want to waste my life being with someone who's only here cuz he thinks it's the right thing to do. We have 4 kids and I'm 20 weeks pregnant. Please help me figure out what to do for the best.

Answer 1

This is so sad and beyond selfish on his part. It sounds like you married a little boy and not a man. 6 lives will be destroyed because this little boy can't handle his responsibilities. And there is no guarantee he will find happiness.... most likely won't.

He needs some men in his life that will reel him back in and let him just talk about why he is so frustrated.

Answer 2

First of all let me say I totally feel for you and the kids. But right now i feel the same way as your husband. I have been married going on 12 years and I have 3 wonderful children. I love my husband but right now I am just very unhappy. My unhappiness stems from lack of attention. As a mother and wife I am always putting others ahead of me and my feelings and I do not get the same in return. I feel like he does not think about me or how I feel and most of the time I'm just there to wash his clothes and clean his house. I wouldn't dream of leaving because that is not what I want and I would never do that to my kids but maybe some attention every once in awhile or just telling me nice things would work. I have seriously thought about cheating on him with a coworker who gives me plenty of attention and a lot of compliments but I know that isn't going to solve any problems I have at home. That would just be a temporary solution for me feeling wanted or needed. I have tried talking to my husband and he said he will try more. If I were you I would sit down and talk to your husband and ask him what he needs in the relationship and what might make him happy and hope also that he isn't already seeing someone else who might be fulfilling his needs that he thinks he isn't getting at home.

Answer 3

This may seem like a silly question, but have you asked him if he has given any thought to what it would take to make him happy? If not, maybe he should take the time to figure that out. You two could work on it together. Sometimes someone becomes unhappy for various reasons, but that does not mean you throw in the towel and call it quits. That's when you work harder and try to make it through. You'll know after you've done all that you can if it's worth it or not... Best of luck to you!

Answer 4

Find out why he is not happy where he is, and where does he want to be. If it is just a move of house that is all it will take to make him happy, then move. Ask him how would he feel if he was the wife, with the four kids and another on the way, and you were the husband telling him, what he has just told you, how would he feel.

Answer 5

Marriage counseling. Did you find out what it is that's making him unhappy? Maybe you and he need a week away from the kids from time to time. He's got a HUGE amount of stress on him. 4 kids and one on the way, and you are or will be a stay at home mom for a while, which means all the finances are on his back. He's stressed out and doesn't know what else to do.

Answer 6

Could be a few reasons he feels unhappy. One could be he is going through mental issues perhaps depression and may need medical attention. However on the flip side its possible he may have found other attractions outside of his marriage and family life. He may very well love you and the kids but may feel he needs to move on to see if the "grass is greener" on the other side. what ever the case maybe you and your husband need to seriously come together and have a heart to heart talk. Maybe using a couples therapist. Anyway goodluck.

Answer 7

He needs to remember what made him fall in love with you in the first place. What you two need is more communication and maybe be alone with each other on a romantic date to rekindle that spark you guys once had. Like you said that you have 5 children...relationships change when you have children...because the children do take a lot of your time & energy, so NOW you NEED to also make time for you and your husband to be together, alone. Hope all goes well.

Answer 8

I agree with everyone else that you need to find out what he is unhappy about. That may change your whole perspective. Then ask him "How can WE make things better." If you are about to have 5 kids together than you guys would be better together then apart for the time being.

Answer 9

It is not clear what is his reason for being unhappy? put yourself together now girlfriend, and be strong. Think about your kids and your baby to be. For now at least he's got his brain at right place for not leaving the kids. But communications would be the way to go for both of you. Figure out how to keeps your family going.
good luck!

Answer 10

happieness is not something you can give him, stop having kids as well, if he goes he aint gonna like all the child support for those kids is he? At the same time are you happy? Do you want to be stuck your whole life with a guy that dont want to be there?

Answer 11

Ask him if he's willing to go to marriage counseling. Also read the book His Needs, Her Needs. It's like a workbook that will help both of you understand what the other needs to be happy. Look for it on eBay. It's very good. I promise you won't be disappointed. you will probably be surprised.

And hang in there....this must be even more difficult to face during pregnancy but hold on to God and to what you have. No matter what happens you have 4 kids who love, almost 5. Best wishes.