What are your views on pornography and marriage? I'm talking about viewing porn WITHOUT your spouse.
Thanks.
2007-11-28 07:26:54 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think as a substitue when the partner is either not availible (out of town / that "time" / or not in the mood), then its fine.
Its when the porn becomes a REPLACEMENT of the primary intimate relationship that it will being to cause problems in your marriage.
The other issue is - men should not hide it, women should not nag about it.
I think its extremely selfish for a man to forego his wife, and go look at porn. I think its also just as selfish for the wife to continually give the man the, "Not tongiht, dear...." treatment, while being offended if he looks at porn.
It is a boundary that all couples must face and decide their own personal tolerance levels on. However, this needs to be done PRIOR to getting married. Its a little late to discuss it and try to place limits / restrictions on it after the couple is married - the horse has already left the preverbial gate at that point.
2007-11-28 07:36:21 · answer #1 · answered by aa889d 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
In some marriages, cheating is acceptable. It all depends on the ground rules that the spouses set before deciding to say their vows.
I decided that i don't see porn as acceptable in my own marriage. No, im not religious, i have other reasons why im against it. A lot of people say that it is acceptable in American culture. That can be a good or bad thing but in the end it is all up to you to decide what is right for you and your marriage.
2007-11-28 15:33:28 · answer #2 · answered by Hawai'i 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I am fine with it. Porn if used properly and kept in the right perspective is a very healthy thing. It can be used to enhance the sex lives of a married couple and that is never a bad or wrong thing. Whether they watch it solo or as a couple, it really doesn't matter. Just so long as it is done with the right intentions.
2007-11-28 16:35:18 · answer #3 · answered by No one 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its ok if your spouse knows about it and he/she accepts it. It is not ok to do it behind their backs if they have expressed concerns or if it bothers them. The key is communication here. If he/she does it in hiding and in secrecy then there is a reason to be concerned. Every relationship is different. Some see it as infidelity some see it as being natural. Its all about respecting your partners boundaries.
For some it becomes an addiction and can really hurt the relationship like problems getting an orgasm unless its by own stimulation etc. Or the loss of interest in having sex.
If these things occur the said person needs to stop or seek help
2007-11-28 15:36:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all it has to be discussed and agreed what is acceptable by both. When doing so keep in mind that men are very sexually driven most of their life and are particularly visual creatures (these are of course generalities). We often look at porn without comparing it to the relationship we have with our wives. It is simply another safe outlet for sexual stimulation as long as the hunger is brought home only, and does not cause other issues I think it is ok.
2007-11-28 15:39:42 · answer #5 · answered by joe 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Everything is acceptable except the following:
1. Use of porn interferes with sexual relationship, or any other area of functioning.
2. Use of illegal porn, especially child pornography.
3. Purchases of porn exceed what's allowed by the family budget.
2007-11-28 15:32:22 · answer #6 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 5⤊ 1⤋
I think you ask this question because you want to prevent him from watching porn. That's ok I guess. But what gets you in the mood? What acts as a supplement to your sex life? Is it a romance novel or long talks with the guy at work? Porn is fantasy at a very basic level. He's a very basic guy and the visual gets him going. Do you want him to become the "fantasy police" and tell you what thoughts you are permitted to have? Keep being his mother and judging him. Men like that. Tell him what he's allowed to do and to think and who he can see. Yeah, that'll be just what he wants. No more need for porn when he's living with THAT fantasy!!
2007-11-28 15:50:29 · answer #7 · answered by noshaymatall 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
For me? Bring it on. I like it, both with him and without.
As long as the person is not neglecting their spouse in favor of porn or it doesn't interfere with their life and responsibilities, I have no problems with it at all.
2007-11-28 15:33:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
I used to think it was ok. I used to think it helped with the intimacy. After 14 years of marriage I know it is a thief of intimacy. True intimacy can only be achieved when two people are committed to one another. WHen porn is brought in by one or both then a third party has entered the relationship and intimacy is diminished.
2007-11-28 15:34:38 · answer #9 · answered by Gary 2 · 6⤊ 2⤋
There is nothing wrong with it, as long as he is not a sex addict. My husband looks at porn every once in a while by himself. I don't feel like I have to always be with him. Some guys wants to be alone, or have that time, if you know what I mean. Then, we have those times when we watch porn together. It is no big deal, unless your husband is a sex addict.
2007-11-28 15:37:46 · answer #10 · answered by tilishabingo 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋