born confused?

Question

Dimple has a jealous side to her when it comes to hanging out with Gwyn and a boy. She always feels like the third wheel. Dimple is supposed to have an arranged marriage but she refuses to even give Karsh a chance. So when Gwyn meets him he is her night and shinning armor. Gwyn wants Karsh after one night of hanging out. Dimple gets to know him and realizes he isn’t as dorky and she thought. Her jealously got so bad that she couldn’t be anywhere Karsh and Gwyn were. She got mad every time she saw them together but this was the last time she was going to keep her mouth shut. Dimple blew up with frustration. Dimple and Gwyn didn’t talk for along time. Dimple realized how much Gwyn meet to her and how she really missed her.

is there any other way I can phrase this to make it a more suitable essay for english

Answer 1

I've made some corrections in your essay.

Dimple has a jealous side to her when it comes to hanging out with Gwyn and a boy; she always feels like the third wheel.

So when Gwyn meets him, he is her knight in shining armor.

Dimple gets to know him and realizes he isn’t as dorky as she thought.

Dimple lost his temper from frustration.

Dimple and Gwyn didn’t talk for a long time.

Dimple realized how much Gwyn meant to her and how she really missed her.

I think you need to add in a few more details. For example, when you introduce Dimple, you might want to rework the sentence to say:

Dimple, an American-born Indian girl, has a jealous side to her when it comes to hanging out with Gwyn and a boy.

And, when you talk about Karsh for the first time, you might want to say:

Dimple's parents want her to enter into an arranged marriage with a boy named, Karsh, but she refuses give him a chance.

Hope this helps.

Answer 2

Its a little casual for an essay. Finish it first and then decide if you need to change anything.