How do I break this habit?

Question

I have a problem. I tell myself bad things about myself and end up making myself believe them. Things such as Im fat and ugly. I wish I could be as pretty as all the other girls. And a lot of really other insecure things. How do I stop this. I just cant. Its too hard. And then when I get yelled at, I just get down even more and tell myself im not worth living and its not worth it. How do I stop this!?!? Its so hard to break this habit!

And also the funny thing is, I want to be a psycologist/counselor and help others for a living.

And also the funny thing is, I want to be a psycologist/counselor and help others for a living.

And also the funny thing is, I want to be a psycologist/counselor and help others for a living.

I didnt mean to post that so many times.. sorry!

I am sixteen

Answer 1

It IS hard to stop this self sabotaging behavior, but you CAN do it. There are many "self help" habits you could begin that will build your self-esteem.

1) begin a daily mantra...something as simple as "I am special, I am pretty, I am unique, I am a smart woman"
-yeah, I know it sounds cliché. But if you say it enough you will believe it. And yes, you should look yourself in the mirror to reinforce it. By doing this you are facing your biggest critic, you. Accept yourself, love yourself and believe in yourself.

2) build the right foundation of support. Surround yourself with optimistic people. Family and friends that are aware of your self sabotaging ways are waiting for you to ask for their help to over come this. They see what's special in you. Now it's time for you to see it as well.

3) Find something you feel you are good at - playing an instrument, drawing, running, decorating, crafts - anything that makes you feel like you have a specialty.

4) do something you recognize as a good deed - daily. Something as simple as bringing your neighbor's paper to them, pitching in the odd change to someone at a checkout, picking up trash on the side of the road by your house. By doing something good you will have a hard time telling yourself how bad or worthless you are.

5) STOP comparing yourself to others. We are all different in EVERY way and that's what makes us so special. Instead of focusing on your looks focus on your grades, your goals, your friends. Confidence makes you more attractive to others (ask any man - confidence is usually a top trait that attracts them to a woman). Remember - looks WILL fade, but personality is forever. Most pretty people don't have depth. Do you really want to be like that?

6) for every "bad thing" you say or think about yourself, make it a rule to have a good thing to say as well. Write down the good things. Ask for input from your family and friends. Compile this list and read it when you start getting down on yourself.


7) when you get insecure or yelled at and feel like it's not worth living - take a good look at those who love you and try to imagine how they would feel if you weren't here. There is so much more to life that getting a lecture or harsh words. You are worth it, you have to find ways to believe it.

8) volunteer to become a Big Sister. spending time with a youngster less fortunate than you can be humbling and help you realize how important you are and what good you have to offer others.

Most importantly, don't focus on the negative. The energy is wasted and you can't get it back. Adopting a new attitude is contagious. You never know who you might bring out of a depressing spell with you.

You may never be 100% happy with your weight or looks, as many women aren't, but you will find that "comfort zone" and things will just click. You'll see. You have to want to break this cycle 100% it's the only way to really find that beauty queen hiding within you.

Good luck, and trust in yourself!

Answer 2

First how old are you? This is a common problem with younger women because right now everything seems like it depends on perfection. Look around and let yourself know that everyone you see wishes they could change something.

Youth is hell, ask most people over 30 if they would want to be a teenager again, and they'll tell you no.

Remember that life is all you have. Not living makes you nothing. If you feel suicidal tell a friend, someone you trust or find a counselor. You are not alone in these feelings, remember that.
It will get better.

Answer 3

I too want to be a psychologist. Truley I do not understand why any person would want to degrade themselves. Here is my first piece of advice, try listening to music that makes you happy. You know puts good thoughts into your mind. Second piece is if you think you are fat, then go outside and exercise. My third piece of advice is the Mad Tv advice. I have never acutally said this to anyone and the entire concept of it makes no sense to me but I think in this case it might help. I am sorry if you are offended by this, but this has helped me sometimes.


I have two words for you.

STOP IT!

Seriously, STOP IT!

I know that sounds easier then it sounds, but you do not want to go through your entire life being down all the time right?

THEN STOP IT!

I am not joking either, seriously, just try and stop, keep yourself preoccupied so that you do not dwell on those thoughts. I hope I was of some help and again sorry if I offended you in any way.

Answer 4

Are you catching yourself in the very ACT of mentally dissing yourself, or merely remembering this self-castigation at a later time?

If you can catch yourself in the act, you might at least realize what a silly waste of time it is, to berate yourself. If you really ARE fat and ugly, then that is suffering enough, without adding to it by calling yourself names.

If you are a teenager, it is entirely normal to go through this, but it won't help you at all. Just accept that good looks are not your major asset, and move on to something you can give yourself good marks for.

Answer 5

First of all, you are a product of society. Don't beat yourself up, it's not your fault that you feel this way. Second, unless you are in the military or play a professional sport, no one should be yelling at you. Just remember that you are above that, but only you have the power to make a change.