What if you KNOW that your partner will break up with you after you admit this?
2007-11-28 06:37:12 · 31 answers · asked by aais 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Have to say be truthful... it hurts but you have to deal with the mistakes that you make
2007-11-28 06:42:10 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Well, I have experience in this one.
To me it doesn't matter if you are married or bf/gf. You are in a committed relationship with a person. You broke the trust of someone that you care about. How can you not tell them? That is hiding something that has the potential of haunting you and affecting you in other relationships if this one does not work out.
I believe it is best to come clean, say you are sorry BUT only if you truly are, and try to move on. If you break up, so be. If he is willing to try, he is the better person for loving you enough to try. But whatever choice you make, it will be a difficult road ahead of you.
Next time, please think twice about cheating. In the end it will only hurt everyone involved.
Good luck.
2007-11-28 15:44:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honestly, you never know what they will do, no matter what they've said in the past.
The best advice is to tell them so they can make the descion of whether to stay or go. Wouldn't you want them to tell you the same thing? They will eventually find out the truth, either from you or someone/something else. If you don't want to break up with your partner you have to be honest with them. Thats the best advice. Secrets and dishonesty DESTORY a marriage or relationship. if thats what you want, then keep your mouth shut and your relationship with your partner will fall to pieces sooner or later.
2007-11-28 14:44:05 · answer #3 · answered by Hawai'i 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
NOOOO do not tell.. why mess up both of your lives if you still love that person.. just take that secret with you to the grave. He will never trust you the same again and you will be walking on eggshells for the rest of your married lives.... now if you want a divorce or to be separated then go ahead and tell and if you are going to cheat again then something is lacking in ur marriage and you guys need counseling!!!! keep your skeletons to yourself and burden yourself with guilt .. dont wreck your partners life
2007-11-28 14:47:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would have preferred to not have known about my husband cheating as the pain was devistating. Would much rather he have done it, lived with the guilt and not have let it become a part of our life. This is the truth; sometimes it is better to realize a mistake you made and learn from it then to let go of your guilt and create much pain. But that is only my opinion.
You never really know what your partner will do if you decide to confess; no one does until they are in that situation.
2007-11-28 19:56:29 · answer #5 · answered by pussycat 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I guess it depends on a few more details.
Is the affair completely in the past, you are now totally committed to this relationship, and there's NO way it will ever come out otherwise?
With that set of circumstances, if the cheater can possibly live with the guilt, it might be best to take that secret to the grave.
However, if there is a strong possibility the affair may come to light sooner or later, the cheater might well be better off to confess and plead for forgiveness.
2007-11-28 14:45:50 · answer #6 · answered by arklatexrat 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
What does it matter?
Of course you should tell them if you really love them. If you dont tell them, its because you are too selfish to be alone, even if its at your partners expense.
But seriously, why does it matter? You didnt care about your partner when you cheated..... why do you suddenly care? Because you have the visual of being alone now?
Do the right thing and tell your partner. By some miracle, maybe they love you enough to forgive you. But if I were your partner, I would walk away and hope you had no one to pick up the pieces.
You made your bed. Now lie in it.
2007-11-28 14:51:53 · answer #7 · answered by Julie S 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well, the best answer is to not cheat. However, if you have, then your partner deserves the right to know even if you do not feel guilty about it. If you knew there was a chance that they would break up with you if they knew after the cheathing occurred, then you knew there was a chance of this before the cheating occurred. If anything, clear your conscience and learn from your mistake whether it be with the one you are with now or not.
2007-11-28 14:43:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
Reverse the situation. If you were the one who was cheated ON, would you want the cheater to tell you, or just keep it quiet?
People make mistakes in relationships. If it was a stupid, one-time thing that you regret, and won't let happen again, then I think there's no reason to tell.
If it's a habit you have, then tell your significant other. It's not fair to string someone along if you're never going to be faithful.
2007-11-28 14:44:26 · answer #9 · answered by misguidedrose18 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
You don't have the right to pass along your pain because YOU feel guilty. You should break up and go your own way. If you can keep your pants on and want to have a relationship then by no means can you say anything. Say your confessions at church and work on your relationship.
2007-11-28 14:45:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I am totally against confessing! If the affair, or whatever it was is over, keep your mouth shut and get on with the marriage. Promise yourself not to do it again and move on. There's no reason to feel guilty enough to confess. You're human and you made a human mistake. Chalk it up and move on. And don't listen to Mari. If you know that telling your partner will ruin the relationship, you'd be a fool to do so. You made a mistake. Forgive yourself and move on!
2007-11-28 14:45:17 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋