My wife just recently told me thats she didn't love me when we got married. What should I do?

Question

She also told me she loves me as little more than a freind now. We have been married for almost 3 years and have a 1 year old child together and are sharing a stepson with her x boyfreind. Please help I don't want to loose her.

Answer 1

if she has admitted to u she feels little love towards u, u shouldn't try to keep her under any circumstance. u deserve to be loved, and treated fairly. if u settle for this, it will one day destroy u. sometimes trials come into our lives, infact into everyone life, trials do hurt, but they also instruct us on what we should do. if she don't love u, u need to go find someone who will love u.

Answer 2

The best thing you can do at this point (by the way I feel you pain and I've been close to where you are), you can do marriage counseling first off. After you guys do the marriage counseling, give your self a time frame after you do everything right to say weather the problem is you or her.

After doing everything right you will at least have the satisfaction that you did not toss the towel like the rest of the wimps that just say the hell with it. It's a lot tougher to keep it together but it's worth while trust me.

Now in the sad event that you can't keep it togather and she is certain that she does not love you and there are no feeling then you can be glad and thankful that she was being honest.; Because there is nothing worse than being led astray, to just go home one day and finding the mailman or the cableguy doing a cable installation in you bedroom know what I mean.

Give it a good fight, then a time frame and see if she has changed if not then tell her to take the highway!

Answer 3

Sounds to me like you were the scape goat after her split from her ex. boy did you get screwed. I think either counselling or just divorce. If she has told you she has never really loved you and thinks of you as a close friend insted of a husband then why try to work on something that was never there to begin with. Fight for custody or atleast visitation of the child and move on find someone that will love you for you.

This is the reason I always say choose wisely marriage is the most important decision you make in your life. Not knowing the true feelings of the person you are with can destroy your life just when you think all is fine. Also another reason I say never rush into parenthood

God Bless and Best Wishes.

Answer 4

I'm not sure you can be loved the way you want, if she's been honest enough to tell you how she really feels.

You can't make a person love you. It's up to them on how they feel about you.

I'm sorry for your pain, but it happens, and in some ways, your very lucky to have a woman who can tell you the truth, instead of cheat or make you suffer in alot of more ways.

Pack and go. Take the baby with. But why stay in a place where your not loved? You'll find love. But don't rush it.

Answer 5

Get councelling or leave. Probably only a matter of time until you leave anyway. Why is she sharing a stepson with her ex? Sounds to me like she's sharing the ex. Pack a bag, tell the little one you love him/her and see an attorney.

Answer 6

Honey, if she leaves you then you can find someone who does or wants to love you.

If she doesn't love you and wants to leave the marriage, trying to keep her there isn't going to make either of you happy. So its best you two figure out where this is going and be adult about it, for the kids.

I don't know why should would marry you if she didn't love you unless you are supporting her. In which case you probably don't have much to worry about.

Be strong. Fear is horrible and blinding don't let it blind your judgement.

Answer 7

If you love her, then let her know that you still love her and you are willing to do whatever it takes. But DON'T BEG. No good relationship decisions ever come from begging. Tell her, you love her, you are here for her, for her son and your baby. But ultimately the decision is hers if she wants to stay with you. She has to want to stay with you for the relationship to work. I suggest you move to a guest bedroom to give her time to think. She will think hard when you are not there all the time. Continue to be good with her son, don't change that. Just get out of her way and give her space (does not mean she can go out and see other men though). She has to want to stay.

Answer 8

People are funny. Sometimes we need to lose something before we realize how much we wanted and needed it. Tell her you love her but won't stay in a loveless marriage. Take your child and make a clean break.

Who knows, she may realize that she was wrong but be very cautious about reconnecting.

Did she say why she married you when she didn't love you?.

Answer 9

alright buddy, tell her she is going to counseling with you for the sake of your child first.

Second, tell her to figure out how she feels, because you love her, but you love yourself a little bit more.

Third, if she is all wishy washy, leave her and get some personal counseling for yourself to get through the grief of loss.

Sorry for your trouble buddy, but sounds like you married a flake.

Answer 10

Then go to pro counseling immediately.

Find out what things she loves and do them. Learn to love her so much, that she can't help but love you back.

The feelings and emotions of love are the most smallest part of what real love is all about.

Remember, people may get married for all the wrong reasons, but they can stay married for all the right reaons.

Learn what she likes, then win her love. Dedicate yourself to winning her feelings. Make it fun if you can. This is an opportunity to show her how "real love" never gives up! :)

Make it work.

Answer 11

If she doesn't love you, there is not a lot you can do. You can't MAKE someone love you. Try marriage counseling. If not, get yourself a good lawyer. It will be worse for your child to be raised in a loveless marriage than to suffer through a divorce. Sorry!