Do guys rate guys on like a 1 to 10 scale (I know a lot of guys do this). Is it more of a personality over looks thing? I know that a lot of guys say that they prefer a guy's personality over their looks but there are a lot of shallow men out there- I just get the feeling aren't telling the truth when they say that. I mean, I've dated a couple of them and it was really obvious how I was just like an "accessory" to them. Why is it that some men feel this way; it just frustrates the hell out of me why most times I'm not in a "real" relationship!
I don't know...sometimes when I first date a guy he'll tell me that I'm a good looking guy and by the end of it he'll tell me that I'm not even attractive and how I should be lucky that he took pity on me and dated me! Is he just saying this 'cause I broke up with him or what? I mean I think that I'm a decent looking guy, I'm not bad looking but I'm not like an actor or something.
http://s214.photobucket.com/albums/cc60/gci_333/
Thanks
2007-11-28 06:11:56 · 22 answers · asked by mad_!! 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I've asked this question before, but didn't exactly get the responses I wanted. Is there anyone else in the same situation as me?
2007-11-28 06:13:09 · update #1
u look fine. sounds like you are having a rough patch and a little bit of self-pity has set in. keep ur head up and all that and enjoy the many other wonderful men of this world!
2007-11-28 06:39:46 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Mikey ® Angel VG♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are different things here.
1. Personality certainly matter -- but first pull -- shallow or deep -- no matter what anyone says, is physical attractiveness.
Note -- you have NO problem in that regard, you are drop dead handsome.
2. If you are the person breaking up with people then yes, the defensive reaction is to put you on the defense by attacking -- its a pretty standard psychological reaction. So its normal.
Beyond those -- let me note something. You have dated a number of men - quite a number it sounds like; you have broken up with some (most? all?) of them for your own reasons. Are you sure you are ready for a "real" relationship? (this is NOT meant to sting or be catty, its an honest question for your consideration - you don' t have to, nor should you answer it to me -- answer it to yourself where it may be of help).
"Real" relationships are not meant to last 2 months and break up -- they are based in communication, respect, and (yes) a lot of sex for the first several years -- they are meant to last for decades -- or, in some cases, life. (Historically a serially monogamous relationship has been more common than a truly monogamous one -- that is why I give the quibble). To get there, both partners have to get beyond blame games, "drama," and recriminations. Serious topics are discussed in some depth, never tossed off. Emotions and feelings are shared AND respected. Fights are avoided when possible, or pursued constructively not destructively when unavoidable -- and always settled before anyone goes to bed. Love dominates, which happens to include making sure that each other's sexual needs are fulfilled. Communication plays a close second.
For the record I am male -- had my first boyfriend (and the only boyfriend with whom I have not been monogamous) when I was 14 -- a relationship that several years, as did the two that followed. My partner and I now are about to celebrate our 16th anniversary in a bit more than a month. We have had less than a half dozen actual fights in those 16 years -- and have never lifted our voices to one another. We are now talking about growing old together and Jonathan wrote a beautiful poem to me on our 15th anniversary titled "As the crows settle in" about that process.
THAT is being in a "real" relationship.
I don't know if any of that helps or not, I can only hope it does.
Kind regards,
Reyn
believeinyou24@yahoo.com
PS Don't lose the eyebrow ring, it adds character and helps you look extra charming.
2007-11-28 18:25:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my own opinion...some guys know that if they say things such as "you're cute" and stuff because it gives that extra chance of being with someone. Not everyone uses it just as that though. Some people are actually truthful when saying it.
Honestly, I think you ARE a good looking guy. I know some people are going to hate me saying this and think I'm a bad person. But in my own personal opinion...looks don't matter, but there is a limit. You my friend are not in the "looks don't matter" category. You ARE good looking.
2007-11-28 14:43:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is you?!?! And someone has the nerve to say you aren't attractive?!?!? What a head case that guy must be.
Screw them!!!! They are just trying to hurt you. You are in fact a very VERY handsome guy. My bf would be all over you like white on rice.
It seems that you have just run into some real crappy guys. You have to kiss a lot of toads before you get a prince, right? Just keep kissin'. One day, you will meet someone that will see not only the beauty outside, but inside as well.
2007-11-28 14:20:04 · answer #4 · answered by Oberon 6 · 5⤊ 1⤋
You're not ugly but nor are you a super-stud.......maybe they don't like your attitude/personality? Maybe they got what they wanted and intended to move on to the next easy lay.....but you just got to finish it before they did...or simply you realise that and that is what hurts?
It happens.
Gay people can be fickle - I would suggest pulling your head from those clouds and realise that you need to think what is more important to you.
The fact is you will never feel you're in a "real" relationship simply because of the attitude you have.
2007-11-28 19:41:46 · answer #5 · answered by Leu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you're probably just looking for an ego boost, but I'm going to give it to you anyway.
You are damn cute. I think the guys are saying it because of the break up. Lose the eyebrow ring and I'd hold on to you for a long long time, unless, of course, you're a total jerk; that'd be really sad, because it'd be nice to have a sweet personality to compliment those looks. :D
Honestly, you'd get me with the looks and keep me with your personality. That's how it goes.
2007-11-28 14:42:12 · answer #6 · answered by David Calisuni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly: wow your georgous! You must know that already? But anyway atleast your modest which is an attribute hard to find in most openly gay men. There are alot of shallow men out there so all I can say is take it slow, make him wait before taking things further. If he respects your decision then you know he's for real.
2007-11-29 21:53:10 · answer #7 · answered by Sophia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks are only the initial attractant. To keep a mate around, you have to have more to offer than just looks. This applies to almost all relationships. Be prepared for some nasty answers here - some people aren't as understanding as others.
2007-11-28 14:18:51 · answer #8 · answered by Paul Hxyz 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey big boy u r a looker!! sounds like u r just doin "the rounds" when u get older u will settle down and have a good time!
2007-11-28 14:23:54 · answer #9 · answered by jockman432004 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I never rate my guy but one thing i do know he is the most wonderful sensitive and passionate guy I have ever met and I would not change him for anything
2007-11-29 12:55:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋