Ok we have an odd relationship to start with. Were not dating but its like we are but without the whole"bf/gf" label. Heres where I am lost. He has my heart but its hard for him to tell me how he feels.So 90% of the time I have to assume he cares.Anyhow he told me that since he lives 2 hrs away (college) that he feels bored a lot and would like to chill with someone (he said not date/sexual). And he wanted to do it without feeling like he is going to hurt me. He has been wishy washy with me for awhile..first he says im smothering then he says he misses me. Anyhow I gave him his space for 5 days (no call/or write ect.) he calls me and tells me how stupid he was and how he runs his head too much and that he just meant that what "if" he wants to chill would somone..and then tells me he didn't and don't want to. So we made up..and now its back to being odd again where he's not calling or writing..ect.. Any advice on any of this? I really love this man..but damn this is getting old.
2007-11-28 06:11:07 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds to me like he is trying to break up with you without really saying it. I'm really sorry you are going through this but my advice would be to not put up with it. You deserve to be treated a lot better and be with someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with him. Tell him what you expect from a relationship and if can't deliver, send him packing. Stay strong, you will get over him and find love again. Enya<3
2007-11-28 06:38:35 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Enya♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are ready for a relationship and he isn't... so there, you guys are in different pages. There is NO misunderstanding, he wants free s ex on the weekends when he's bored at school and he wants to keep his options open until someone better comes araound or when the prospect that he's pursuing there pans out. He cannot have it both ways, this is unfair to you and you are allowing it.
If he says that you're smothering him (you live 2 hours away!!) then that's a big red flag. Sorry sweetie, but if you have settled for such little regard and consideration you can only blame yourself.
I know that you love him, but he doesn't love you and certainly doesn't want a realtionship with you, otherwise things would be much different. Any man that comes back when you stop talking to them is a bad sign because they only want to satisfy their own ego and then go back to same old "I need my space" treatment. Why going on this emotional see-saw that is so convinient to his own egocentrical needs?
I know that it's easier said than done, but for self-respect and for self-dignifying purposes I would terminate that gray area non-relationship relationship. If he wants the benefits he has to pull his own weight. You cannot be on a relationship by yourself with a man that doesn't want to be involved emotionally with you. Yes, you deserve and can do better than that.
Good luck
2007-11-28 06:24:36 · answer #2 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Be there for her and attempt and get her to talk to her mum and dad... by using her chatting with them supplies her extra innovations on wether or not she needs to maintain it or maybe adoption she has extra innovations now than she would be in a position to later. Her mum and dad will locate out at last purely make confident that is to not overdue. And be a competent chum and attempt and help/handbook her to make the innovations she needs and not what all of us "needs" her to do because of the fact she am has to handle it in an prolonged time in lifestyles no count what she makes a decision... and prefer the girl formerly reported her mum and dad will improve to the belief and definite there's a huge gamble they're going to loose it however the want not harm her or the child. So motivate her to make her judgements which will income her interior the tip.
2016-10-09 21:32:19 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know about this couple that even though they had problems similar to yours, they worked it out and got married. However, two years later, they got divorced because he kept acting the same way, not caring at all, being wishy-washy and going to ups and downs "you are smothering me" to "I miss you" I wish i could have told this girl to run before it was too late. So I am telling you.... run now that you have time, before it is too late.
2007-11-28 06:23:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are technically not his GF he has no reason to tell you anything. if you like him buit have not told him your the one that needs to speak up. He is also in college so his time is being used to screw ladies or to study one or the other or both. Really I think you must tell yourslef this guy is just not the one for me and find yourself a man bnecause this guy sounds like a confused screwed up little boy.
THis is puppy love your too young to know true love find a guy who wants to call you his GF and get in a normal relationship.
2007-11-28 06:28:17 · answer #5 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's cheating and feeling guilty about it. When the hunt is on he's preoccupied but after the kill he has time to reflect. That's when the guilt hits. Either you're 100% into it or you shouldn't be together at all.
2007-11-28 06:18:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what you need out of this man is a commitment of some sort....that you two aren't b/f,g/f but aren't going to see anyone else while you two see each other or become b/f-g/f.....something. it's not fair what he is doing to you...sounds like he wanted to mess around with someone else and did and now he regrets what he has done. he is playing mind games with you and you don't need or deserve it. love is a good and bad thing...it can blind you to what is right in front of you.
2007-11-28 06:23:28 · answer #7 · answered by Latino Heat 4ever 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you are a friend with benefits, he has his cake and is eating it too. Move on to soemone who respects you.
2007-11-28 06:40:02 · answer #8 · answered by married with kids 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i personally dont think hes worth it, you just need to get rid of him now
2007-11-28 08:54:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice.....love yourself more than you love him and stop letting him pull your chain
No one is worth that.
2007-11-28 06:21:20 · answer #10 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋