That just because im going to be a young mother and i have never been through labor that i dont know what i want... Like when people ask questions about my pregnancy and baby and this and that i am very open on how i want a water birth and no drugs and i plan on breastfeeding. Everyone is like o well hunny you will change your mind and be begging for that epidural.. Like im an idiot or something.. I dont get why people can be so rude, why is it everyone ALWAYS has something to say. Like one friend of my mother in laws said o just wait once you start breastfeeding your boobs are going to start to hurt and your going to switch to formula in a heart beat! Like breastfeeding is about me?? I mean c'mon! Who cares if it hurts, their are ways around it if thats what i choose for my daughter... I mean..Has anyone else experienced these hypocritical people or do they just like to prey on me?? The first time mom who got married at 17 and pregnant at 19!
2007-11-28 05:35:28 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
People are always like that. When I was getting married, people I didn't even know would say sarcastically... good luck. Or you poor thing. I finally got so annoyed that when a guy I worked with said it, I said back "Spoken like someone whose marriage failed. With your positive attitude I can't imagine why". He shut up quickly. Not sure if I was right or not but I was sick of people taking the liberty to insult me and hide it behind jokes (and I was not young at all so that changes nothing).
I think people just want to have something to say and it's easier for people to be negative than positive, as sad as that is. Just ignore them and do what's right for you. It will hurt... a whole lot but people get through it if they are determined. I was young when I had my daughter and I managed to go natural and breastfeed. People forget that young adults, are still adults. The next time someone says it ignore them or say something like "I'm aware of that, thank you". They probably don't mean to insult or upset you. Good luck.
2007-11-28 05:44:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it doesn't end even for older moms. Someone always "knows better".
Good for you, you are making the best decisions for your baby. A drug free labor is not easy, but I have had it both ways and will never choose an epidural again! Breastfeeding is not easy at first, make sure you have a good support group behind you, and if it does not work out 100% the way you planned, accept it. Thats what parenthood is really all about, letting go of your own preconcieved ideas and just experiencing all that this child is going to bring your way! Good luck and God bless.
2007-11-28 05:42:47 · answer #2 · answered by parental unit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most people only know their own experiences, so they project those on to other people going through the "same thing." What they don't realize is that pregnancy, labor, delivery, and breastfeeding are different for everybody! It may not have as much to do with you being young as it does with people being closed-minded to anyone else's decisions. As soon as women who've already given birth hear someone is pregnant, advice - helpful or not - starts pouring out of them at record rates. I'm 27 and get a lot of mothers rolling their eyes at things I've already decided to do. If you feel strongly about something, stick to no matter what anyone else says. Live your own pregnancy, and don't expect anyone else's experience to reflect yours! You're doing the right thing! Congrats and best of luck!
2007-11-28 05:51:48 · answer #3 · answered by ♀B♀S♀ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean. WHen I tell people that I had a water birth and didn't have any meds, they're like 'You're crazy!' and they try to say that having an epidural is better because you can 'enjoy' the birth. Just because I felt everything doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it. And when I tell people I'm still breastfeeding, they always seem suprised that I have the patience to keep it up. Everyone is different, but for some people it's jealousy. Lots of people wish they stuck to breastfeeding, or that thay could have tried harder for the natural birth, so they try to run you down because you have the opportunity to achieve what they didn't.
2007-11-28 06:10:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
When you find out let me know!! I am 25 years old and I hear the same things! Don't worry, I don't think it has anything to do with your age.
I get it all of the time! I absolutely love being pregnant! Everything about it makes me happy! Anytime anyone asks whether or not I'm ready to have my baby I tell them no! It's the truth. And then I get 'well just wait until you get further along' or 'you say that now'... NO! I'll tell you that every single day! People are always negative about these things and it really ticks me off! They way I see it, they obviously aren't happy with their lives and see having children as something to make it worse. One of my good friends was around when I was getting 'attacked' by all of the negativity of going through labor and she just told everyone that the pain doesn't last forever.
Congratulations on your baby and good luck! Live your life happily and forget about anyone else!!
2007-11-28 05:46:11 · answer #5 · answered by bobbysgirl_82 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Believe it or not, it has very little to do with your age -- when a woman is pregnant *everyone* has an opinion. And no matter a woman's age, if she says she wants a natural childbirth there will be a slew of women who say "just wait," just as there will be a slew of women who say "just wait" to the woman who plans to breastfeed. There are all kinds of reasons, from unconscious guilt, to wanting to believe that what you (the person giving the "advice") did was really the only reasonable thing to do, to really really believing that deep down.
Pregnancy "advice" is...an interesting thing to be on the receiving end of. Most of it, from most people, most of the time, truly is well intentioned -- and I tried to remind myself that as much as possible. But regardless of intention....wow, is it a pain! Everyone has an opinion. Everyone thinks her way is THE right way.
And, I'm sorry to say, if you think pregnancy "advice" is annoying, just WAIT until you're on the receiving end of all the parenting "advice!" At some point I think the best thing to do is to essentially "smile and nod".....while you tune it out and go about your business. It's not that none of the "advice" is or will be good, but you just have to pick and choose the few things that resonate with YOU...and politely ignore the rest. So in that regard, it might help if you think of all this pregnancy "advice" as a warm up for the parenting thing....'cause this lasts for only a few months, while that will go on, and on, and on, and on.....
Congratulations on the pregnancy, and best of luck to you!
2007-11-28 05:52:41 · answer #6 · answered by ljb 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Plan but be flexible... That is the very best advise I can give you. I swore no drugs with my son. Little did I realize I was going to have a 39 1/2 hour labor and give birth to a 9lb baby boy. After about 4 hours I begged for drugs... lol After 39 1/2 hours... I begged for food and rest ;) However that little one comes into the world doesn't matter... The fact that he/she is here and its because of you is the best feeling in the world. Congrats mommy!
2007-11-28 05:48:16 · answer #7 · answered by ★ﾚo√乇♥ My 3 Boys★ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm a young mother-to-be too. People are full of rude comments and useless advice. I want a natural birth without pain meds. Everyone has told me im crazy and I'll break down. Just be determined. You know what you want for your baby.
As for breastfeeding.... go to a local Babies R Us. There is one breast cream there that my sister-in-law says works miracles. It's in a blue package. She said she was chapped and all that, and this cream was amazing.
Stand Strong. You know what you want for your baby, don't let anyone try to tell you that you don't.
2007-11-28 05:47:22 · answer #8 · answered by Sarah C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why people have to throw their 2 cents in, all births and newborns are different. My mother in law was the biggest pain in the @ss when I was pregnant with my first. I was hell bent on no drugs, and she would laugh at me whenever she asked about my birth plan. Oh, and I shouldn't breastfeed because it isn't fair to everyone else who wants to feed the baby! Oh yeah, she was nuts!
I don't think it's because your young, it's because people have to tell their stories, for some reason, it's supposed to help, go figure! I still get it from everyone, and I'm almost 32 years old!
2007-11-28 06:35:33 · answer #9 · answered by Wendi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's because they think they know everything. when my 2nd was born I did it with no drugs aswell and I did ask them for some at about 9 cm dialated but it was too late to have them. But I didn't have a specific birth plan whereas you have yours and you plan to stick with it. Stuff what they say you ddo what you want for hanna and don't give them a second thought. I am so sorry that you have had to go through this it would be hard for me to be polite under those circumstances lol As i bet it was for you too.. you will have to let me know how it is giving birth in the water I have always been curious.
2007-11-28 09:58:16 · answer #10 · answered by mum to 3 precious little girls!! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋