I am wanting to find someone to Help me do something great for my Grown Son and His Family If Anybody can Help

Question

My SON is a Great Man In My BOOK. He is 25 and been down the Rough side of the Tracks. He and his now wife had their 1st Child at 15 and 16. Long story won't Go their. But it has been one trial after another He wants his own Place so Bad but Can't afford it and our Fund Don't Allow Much either. He Trys so Hard and things seem against him everywhere he Turns. He has 3 Beautiful Children. And A wife that Has finally started trying. They have been Married 6 years and it has been most of the time under My roof. They were Buying a House and the Guy was Putting the Shaft to Them and At Least they got Out without it costing them alot Of Money. Now he works at National and they are talking Lay offs and His Wife is a Nurses Aide. The Funds are really tight He has a Messed up Knee and Should have surgery But Is putting it off Because His Children need christmas that more than likely won't happen.I want to do so much for him but Don't have the Money myself because of bad health.

My husband works but our funds Don't allow us to do much for him either. We would love to see him in his own Place for his wife and children. Every Child needs a Beautiful Place to call home and a Beatiful Christmas After all It is for ths Children . Can anyone tell me of someplace that I may send a letter to tell somebody how thankful I am for such a Beautiful Child. He trys so hard and Keeps getting Knocked down.

Answer 1

Since he has taken many wrong turns in his life and you seemed to have allowed it to continue, honestly, there is nothing you can do except 'allow' him to continue living with you and your husband...

I'm sorry to say this, but you must hear it. After his 1st child, why did you allow him to continue staying with you when he should have been forced to grow up as quick as he can lay in bed?
2nd mistake: you continued to let him into your home and 'well mom has no problem with it, let's have more kids & she'll support us'!. A few years go by and now, here you are?!?!?! Asking us for advice on what to do.

He's 25, I'm not sure what advice to give to him or ya'll because this should be a no-brainer. He needs to get the hell out of your home, HE needs to support his family, whether his wife is with him or not, and HE needs to stop depending on you for support - whether it'd be financially, shelter-wise, whatever.

Until you stop this, then you will be helping him. Good luck.

Answer 2

First of all, I want to congratulate your son for standing up like a man and accepting the fact he was going to be a father when he was in his teens. Most boys his age wouldn't have done this. Also glad to hear he got out from under that sham of a realtor (he should have his license revoked, in my book, from what you said about him and Remax before). As for his job, don't let him wait till the lay-off comes. Have him go out and look for work NOW, while the jobs may be available (if he waits, other National employees may beat him to the punch in finding one once the lay-offs come).
As for his messed up knee, I know where he's coming from. I had bone rubbing on bone due to arthritis and having no cartilage left, and had to have total knee replacements done (yes, BOTH knees), but was lucky enough to find a surgeon who took my Iowa Medicaid. Do you have a type of clinic called Alegent Health (or something similar. This particular one is located in Omaha,Nebraska)? This clinic/hospital group accepts these insurance plans:

Wellmark
Alliance Select (PPO)
Blue Select (PPO)
Blue Access (PPO)
Blue Choice (POS)
Blue Advantage (HMO)
Blue Traditions (Indemnity)
Classic Blue (Indemnity)
Blue Cross Blue Shield of Nebraska
Sponsored Plans:
BCBSN Plans (Indemnity,PPO,HMO)
Blue Preferred (PPO)
Blue Prime Advantage (HMO)
Blue Choice Advantage (POS)
Blue Choice Advantage Plus (POS)
Mutual of Omaha Sponsored Plans
Mutual of Omaha HMO Open
Access (HMO)
Mutual of Omaha POS Open
Access (POS)
Mutual of Omaha PPO
Mutually Preferred (PPO)
Exclusive HealthCare,Inc.(HMO)
Coventry Health Care Sponsored Plans:
Coventry PPO/Health Assurance
Coventry HMO
Healthcare Preferred (PPO)
UnitedHealthcare of the Midlands
Network,Inc.Sponsored Plans:
UnitedHealthcare Choice (HMO)
UnitedHealthcare Choice Plus (PPO)
UnitedHealthcare Select (HMO)
UnitedHealthcare Select Plus (POS)
UnitedHealthcare PPO
Medicaid Managed Care Plans:
Primary Care Plus
Share Advantage (NE)
Other Networks
Midlands Choice Network
Accountable Health Plans
Aetna (PPO)
American Medical Security (PPO)
Beech Street (PPO)
Benefit Group (PPO)
Capp Care (PPO)
ChoiceCare/Humana (PPO)
CIGNA/Connecticut General (PPO)
Continental General (PPO)
Employers Health Insurance/
Humana (PPO)
Fortis (PPO)
Golden Rule (PPO)
Government Employees Hospital Association (GEHA) through PPO USA (PPO)
Great West (PPO)
Interplan/Accountable Health Plans (PPO)
John Alden (PPO)
John Deere Health Plan (HMO)
Mailhandlers (PPO)
Mid American Benefits (PPO)
One Health Plan (PPO)
Plaines Health Network (PPO)
Principal Financial (PPO)
Private HealthCare Systems
(PHCS)(PPO)
The Guardian (PPO)
Trustmark (PPO)
Union Pacific Railroad Employees
United Behavioral Health (HMO and PPO)
Health System (UPREHS)(PPO)

or call Alegent Health at 1-800-ALEGENT to ask. My brother's family goes to the clinics in Omaha, and they have little or no insurance at all, and their payments are very low.
As for Christmas for his kids--contact the Marine Corps' Toys for Tots campaign (or see www.toysfortots.org and click on "request toys" on the left side of their homepage). To Request a toy for your children or the children of another family:

Search for the campaign site nearest you
Click the name of the local Toys for Tots Coordinator ( A pre-formatted email message will appear)
Type your request on the preformatted email message (Include your mailing address, phone number and FAX number)
Click send (the message will go to your local Toys for Tots Coordinator
House problems: 2 suggestions--
(1) Apply To Be On Extreme Makeover: Home Edition Today!

Do you know a deserving family who desperately needs a home makeover? Perhaps it's your family? If you would like to nominate your own family or another, then print out our application and send it in, along with a video and/or pictures! The Extreme Makeover team could be coming to your neighborhood! Problem here is I am not sure how long it would take for your son to be approved.

How to Download the Application:
Windows Users
Right-click on the application link above and choose "Save Link As..." or "Save Target As..." You will need Adobe Reader, version 5.0 or higher, to print the application. Don't have Adobe Reader? Get it here! This doesn't cost anything and comes in handy for reading pdf files.

(2) Habitat for Humanity is an ecumenical Christian organization that helps low-income families build their own homes. The philosophy of Habitat is that the economically disadvantaged need capital, not charity, and co-workers, not caseworkers, in order to obtain a decent house in a decent community. Habitat welcomes people of all faiths to work with us in our affordable housing ministry. Basically, this means your son and daughter-in-law would help with the building/remodeling of a home. Habitat for Humanity is a non-profit organization building homes with people who qualify. New homes are sold in exchange for 400 hours of "sweat equity" and the cost of building the home. A 3 bedroom house costs about $375.00 per month. Habitat sells the houses and charges zero interest on the loans. Habitat reinvests mortgage payments to build more houses.
He may be eligible if he meets Habitat's 3 basic guidelines (Need, Ability to Pay, and Willingness to Partner)
and you can answer "yes" to all of the following statements:

I have Need:

The housing I live in is at least one of the following:
1. overcrowded
2. poorly maintained (substandard)
3. in a dangerous neighborhood
4. I do not have a place of my own (I live with family or friends)
OR
5. I spend more than 50% of my gross income on rent & utilities (water, gas and electric only),
6. Fall within the annual income guidelines listed below :

Family Size-- Minimum Income-- Maximum Income
1 Person -- $12,350-- $24,725
2 People -- $14,100 --$28,275
3 People-- $15,900-- $31,800
4 People -- $17,650 --$35,325
5 People-- $19,050-- $38,140
6 People-- $20,450-- $40,990
7 People -- $21,900-- $43,800
8 People -- $23,300 --$46,625
(Guidelines are for July 1, 2007 through June 30, 2008. Income guidelines change every year.)
If he has any ability at all to pay:
1. I owe less than $3,000 in total debt (or I owe less than $5,000 in total debt and a majority of it is for a car loan, student loans or medical bills and I have a clean credit history).
2. I have not declared bankruptcy in the last 18 months.
3. I pay my rent on time.
4.I have a stable income for the past year.

I am willing to partner with Habitat:

I am willing to be a partner with Habitat and put in 400 hours of "sweat equity" first working on other families' homes, then building my own home. I will also attend budget classes and monthly homeowner workshops.
What would I be required to do if I were approved?

Work 400 hours of "Sweat Equity" - first help build other families' homes, then help build your own home.
Attend budgeting classes and monthly homeowner workshops
Pay closing costs of $1,300.
Debt MUST NOT INCREASE while in the program
Pay a monthly mortgage payment of about $375 for 20 years.

Go to their main site at www.hfh.org for more info. There is an application you can print out/download. They also have sites for the different cities they have offices in. Can't hurt to check them out. :) Hope this helps a little.