Is feminism damaging to women?

Question

I find it interesting that most men responded that they would not only be comfortable with a woman paying for their date, but would encourage the practice. Since this is something that would have been all-but unthinkable a mere 50 years ago, I would attribute this (from personal opinion) to feminism's affect on increased independence among women. And yet, most women responded that they would not only be OK with, but would prefer a man to pay at least most of the time.

So if feminism ultimately turned guys into ungentlemanly deadbeats (an unverified connection, but a claim that I will suggest), and yet women still feel an innate desire to be taken care of (another unverified claim that I will suggest), hasn't feminism unjustly affected women in this regard in that it has deprived them of something they seem to want while, in fact, giving men what they want instead?

Cloudcity CC: Suffrage and female employment is a whole other breed of feminism. Women have had those rights for a century, which would suggest that gender studies should be as dead a discipline as alchemy. But it isn't, since it currently strives for gender equality on a social basis.

smoofus70: Actually we agree as I don't think it makes him a deadbeat either. But if a guy wants a gal to pay, despite the lack of an offer to do so, I would qualify him as a deadbeat. Many of the responses from women seem to suggest that they prefer the guy to pay.

bsxfn: Can you name some gains that modern feminism has afforded women since, say, 1960 when it took off?

Answer 1

Feminism is about so much more than who pays for dates. I think most feminists have much bigger problems to worry about. We're mainly concerned with reproductive rights, domestic violence, the wage gap, and the like. I don't think anyone's complaining about having to pay for a meal.

Answer 2

I do not think feminism has anything to do with random male desire to be a deadbeat date; men like that always existed. They were never popular among females of any generation, but there was always someone desperate enough to take pity on them. You should not generalize (a lot of guys would be offended by your careless assumption). Now, women usually do have choices, when it comes to dating. When push comes to shove: we hand pick our dates (there is absolutely nothing left to a chance here). So why would anyone knowingly select a cheap skate, when world is full of generous and attractive in every way single men? Now, if I was a modern male, I would do everything in my power to increase my chances with ladies (and paying for our dates would be only a very small part of that).

Now, if you have the need to blame all of the world's disasters on poor feminism, you can do that. It is a free world we live in. However, in last 50 years some countries actually have been ruled by females (Finland, Canada and (surprise!) Pakistan are only some of them). And their economies were in a much better shape as a result, than ours (with a male monkey for a president of last 7 some years). There were no wars or any other destruction of any kind there during their governing years. And no one stole billions of dollars from their children’s healthcare and education in order to line up their pockets... You see, dear... if you think about it, you will see just how good feminism has been for everyone... even your silly ****...

Answer 3

Yes, to a degree it has been damaging to women. For example, nowadays nobody values a good homemaker. Taking care of the home, laundry, cooking, cleaning, raising children is seen as something that can be farmed out to strangers and has no value. I find this very sad. Many women don't have a feeling of self worth unless they are earning wages outside a home, and yet who else in this entire world would be better suited for raising your own children? Who's going to see their first smile, first step, kiss their scrapes? A total stranger earning minimum wage who day dreams of escaping their mind dulling job at a daycare center!

Answer 4

I guess I just don't place paying for my dinner as a top indicator of gentlemanly behavior. I still demand to be treated with respect and any man who doesn't do that is out the door, whether or not he paid for my meal. I think it's more important that he respect my views and listens to my opinions and not dismiss them out of hand.

I think most of us (feminists) just don't want to been seen as completely dependent on a man's whim to survive. We are independent women, we can take care of ourselves. Who do think buys us dinner when you aren't around?

Answer 5

I think we disagree here (shocking, I know), but I don't think splitting the bill on a date makes a man an ungentlemanly deadbeat.

Answer 6

I think most women prefer paying for themselves. If they want to be taken care of, it wouldn't require someone else's money as much as it would require their affection.

Answer 7

Okay to a day care worker its a mind dulling job to spend the day with children? But to me, it wouldn't be? I think day care workers love their jobs, just as I love mine. For me to have had to spend all day everyday doing that - it would not have worked. I would have been miserable and so would my children- they had more fun and experiences without me.

Answer 8

Whatever your perceptions of women's loss are, the gains hugely outweigh them. So, no, feminism is good for everybody!

Answer 9

I think it affords women the notion that they deserve both special treatment as well as equality, and clearly that does not work. It also weakens women (i.e. telling women who are "sexually harassed" to seek outside assistance, instead of just standing up for themselves.)

Answer 10

You are 100% correct and everyone here knows it.

P.S. Women don't know what they want