O K here is the skinny.
I am currently in the middle of a custody dipute. My childs father wants to pick him up from daycare and keep him for 4 days but i am not agreeing to it. I say he can pick him up and take him to dinner and bring him back home that same day. If he does indeed go against what i feel is in the best interest of the child being that there is not judgement render in my case because it is fairly new wouldn't that be kidnapping or abduction. The court has not ordered anything yet?
I have heard that the cops wont get involved what shoudl i do in the event that this happens?
2007-11-28 05:17:30 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
I think you should let your child's father spend 4 days w/ his son. Unless of course he's a drunk, drug addicted, abuser or some other horrendous thing. It is his child too after all. Why be petty? Hopefully you're not going to be one of those mom's who thinks of her ex as a walking check book and then denies him access to his son out of spite.
2007-11-28 05:29:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
If there is no court order in place, he cannot be charged with anything at all. You're right, the police won't get involved in a civil matter, as long as no laws are being broken (Remember, this works to your benefit too). In order to involve the police he has to commit a crime ( kidnapping or custodial interference), neither of which can be proved without a court order in place prior.
Your best bet is to prevent this from happening in the first place. You could instruct the daycare not to release the child to him, but they may not be willing to withhold the child from him without an court order. And if he pushes the issue and calls the police, he can take the child himself. This is more of a last resort bluff, betting on him not knowing his legal rights.
A temporary solution would be to take the child to somewhere other than the daycare (a friends, parents) the day he want to go pick him up. If there is no visitation order, again the police won't get involved and force you to turn over the child. That would work for that weekend, but you still need to get into court and get a temporary order in place for visitation, custody, and support. Most states will not allow overnight visits for a child under two years old (I don't know how old your child is).
Choose your battles wisely, as this can all be done back to you once the arrows have started to fly. Good luck.
I agree that four days is a long time for a young child to be away from his mother. So much of this depends on the character of the father. Is the child in any real danger by going with the father for four nights? Is he going to spend time with the child or pass him off to someone else? Is he likely to flee with the child?
2007-11-28 13:38:09 · answer #2 · answered by Jack 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If there's no court decision, then both of you are parents with full custodial rights. Legally, your feelings on what is best for the child aren't any more important than the father's.
If you feel this is an issue that really needs to be addressed, ask the court to decide something. But be prepared to tell the judge why it's not a good idea for the child to spend four days with his dad. You'll need to have something a lot better than what you've told us here.
2007-11-28 13:30:12 · answer #3 · answered by Teekno 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want to prevent your child from being with his father?
If you have some reason, there might be something you can do.
But punishing your child because you now hate the man you used to love is just wrong.
If you're in the middle of a custody dispute, then you should already have experts who could advise you on the legalities.
2007-11-28 16:31:54 · answer #4 · answered by tehabwa 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u share constitutional rights to the care custody and control of the child with the father. you have it regardless of a court order. for the same token so does he. the way to settle this is to hire a lawyer to help you get an order while the dispute is being resolved
2007-11-28 13:29:41 · answer #5 · answered by qb 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not allow him to take the child AT ALL until a court has set up a visitation schedule. If you do allow him to take the child then it could turn into a nightmare. What if he kidnaps your child? The police would be hesitant to get involved because he's the father and they only have your word that he kidnapped him.
I seriously suggest speaking to your attorney about this first to get it on record before releasing for the day. Your attorney should be able to draw up some sort of paperwork as an agreement to present in court.
Most kidnappings and/or killings are done by a parent in the midst of a custody dispute. Think about that before releasing your child to his father.
2007-11-28 13:29:44 · answer #6 · answered by D's Girl 2 · 0⤊ 4⤋
If there is no court documents stating who has the children, then you both have equal rights. Are you still married? If not, then you have initial custody until the courts say otherwise. If so, then as I said before, you both have equal rights. It's all abotu who has physical custody....
2007-11-28 13:55:13 · answer #7 · answered by georgiapeach 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
State law is tricky and of course varies by state. However, as the father he has as much right to the child as you do.
You need to see a lawyer NOW. Get a temporary order until the divorce is properly filed.
2007-11-28 13:26:54 · answer #8 · answered by davidmi711 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋