I am really freaked out right now. My husbands ex just sent?

Question

12 dozen red roses to my husband. Today is the annaversary of their marriage. She sent them to our house, my husband is at work and I only know the occasion because there is a huge card in the midst of it all. I am so sick of this woman, I don't know what to do with these flowers......for those of you who are wondering...they were divorced when I met him.

Answer 1

You should of refused delivery.

You are his wife now.

You have EVERY right to do so.

Answer 2

First does he have any contact with her at all? I would almost be tempted to get rid of them and never tell him. I am not big on hiding things from the other person but in this case. Because if he never knows then there is nothing to talk about or anything to stir up a problem and that sounds like what she is trying to do. Then tell him and then throw them out. Did he leave her or did she leave him? If she did then she has it in her head that if she had never left, then they would still be together and if he did the leaving then she is trying to stir things between you and him now hoping he will come back her way. I would have denied deliverly. She has to know that he is at work. I am surprised that she didn't send them to his place of business or where he works. It really sounds like by sending them to your house that she is causing the problem she is wanting to or upsetting you the way she wants. Just don't go off on him over something she has done, he has no control over her and as long as he hasn't talked to her or given her anytype of impression that he is still interested in her then no it is not his fault. Just be cool about and not coy, no reason to be ugly. Good Luck

Answer 3

Well, before allowing emotions to accuse and throw blame your husband's way, find out if he even knows about it.

This may be all his ex rather than your husband's part.

If your husband does have a part in this, then there are some heavy duty issues to immediately resolve. It should be an obvious thing that he has absolutely nothing to do with his ex, unless communication is needed for children within that marriage.

But if it is solely "her", then your husband, not you, needs to drop the bomb, in a tactful way of course, that she is NOT a part of his life. You are. And you are the love and focus of his life.

Be together. Be a team. And support each other through everything.

Make it work.

Answer 4

My boyfriends ex was in our relationship for 6 months while him and I were first dating (now we're engaged and have a daughter together). She was physco though. She would stalk him and whatever but I would tell her to go F-off and I was always so rude to her and he didn't care because he didn't like her anymore. If she tried to give him something he'd be like 'go ahead, do whatever you want with it' even before I'd want to throw something away or whatever. So if he truely cares about you then when he finds out that she sent them to him he should say, without hesitation, to do whatever you want with the roses.

On another note - did you mean 12 roses and not 12 dozen roses? Just wondering because that would be like $500.00 or so and if she spent that much money on him then yeah, she's physco.

Answer 5

Psycho!!!
Unfortunately, there is no law against sending flowers. However, I would keep the card for future reference if she continues with these games and then you can go to the authorities for harassment.
In the meantime, have your hubby send her back a note (I think a phone call would only escalate the situation here as she sounds sick) stating that it is very inappropriate for her to be sending flowers and to please not do this again in the future nor contact you in any way. Only call if he would be strong enough to say just that and hang up the phone otherwise she may just pull him right back in to her demented little world.
If she continues, take your "evidence" to the authorities, don't contact her anymore..leave it up to them.
If she does kick it up a notch..if your hubby still has the contact information for her parents/closet relative, he may want to contact them to advise them of how unstable she is becoming as they may be able to step in as well and help her
so you two are not dealing with her problems.
Good Luck.

Answer 6

You need to call your husband and let him know what happened. You should throw the flowers out. I'm sure that if one of your ex's did this, your husband would do the same. But I would seriously have a talk with my husband, and tell him she has to stop. It's called harassment.

Answer 7

Just be the bigger woman, stand still, leave them where he can see them (no, not the garbage).

It's probably something she's doing moreso out of spite than a result of his doing anything to provoke it.

As a matter of fact, if anything, if your husband don't know what to do or if he's as upset as you (or not)....just allow him to deal with it. It's his ex...not yours.
U R a woman.... remember how bad you'd felt the last time your relationship ended and you didn't necessarily feel justified by the ending?

Answer 8

do not even let your husband see them!! if she had meant for just your husband to see them she would have sent them to his work. she sent them to your house because she wanted *you to see them. you are the lady of the house and she knows that. so in a way she sent them to you too, to send you a message. so you know what you have to do with your nice message. TRASH IT. open the card, read it and trash it. if necessary put it in a trash bag and drive a few blocks to a public trash bin, so your hubby doesn't discover it. do not even say anything to your husband. this is one of those rare times when it is best to not tell him anything, lest even the seed sprout in his mind that he should restart something w/ her. you know the saying, where there was once a fire, there are still embers. you need to safeguard your marriage not let this hussy drive a wedge between you. which is exactly what this "gift" is meant to do. also the best revenge for her is silence. do not send her anything, do not call her, do not acknowledge that anything was received. let her wonder about it and let it eat away at her. if she says anything to him about sending him something put on a blank look and say "hmm we never got anything..sure she sent it to the right place?" then say "what was it exactly that she sent?" putting her in the hot seat! you are with him now you have to stand up for yourself and your marriage!

Answer 9

Destroy the roses. And the card. Any time you see anything from her dispose of it before he sees it. Or you could let him see what she sent. Tell him how it makes you feel, and if he is over her and loves you he will get rid of them himself and tell her to stop all of her contact. If he still cares for her then honey he will take her side and nothing will change. You need to ask yourself and him if there is anything he has been doing to lead her on to thinking there is something to rekindle there.

Answer 10

She sounds a bit unstable... either that or she is trying to mess with you. Otherwise she could have sent them to his office instead. Throw the roses out and do nothing about it. If she is trying to get to you, then don't give her the satisfaction!

PS I loved the answer you gave to bf6262 about the married man still seeing the ex:)

Answer 11

Alright take a breath and calm down, leave the flowers as they are, and wait for your hubby to come back from work. As soon as he is settled, ask him what is going on between his ex and him,tell him how frustrated you are with the situation calmly no screaming, then let him be the one to tell her to desist from such acts next time because it is disrespectful, do not lose your cool here it might be what she wants you to do.cheers