Ownership in marriage?

Question

Do you think when couples get married they own each other? My husband and I were talking about this last night. He says no. He doesn't own me, I'm free to do whatever I want. I agree to a certain extent. But free to do whatever I want? Like go out with the girls nightly? I doubt he'd like that. What do you think?

Answer 1

no one owns anyone, but when married u are bound to a moral code, there are things u never do like cheating with others, or sharing your love and emotions with another. your never free to do what u want, if u were why be married. marriage is saying you belong exclusively to that person as far as emotionally and your love. no if u went out nightly with the girls what u would be saying to him is that he didn't matter, and that u did not want to be with him, it would be a show of disrespect and would cause resentment and hurts to the one left at home.

Answer 2

It isn't ownership. It is just considering the others feelings and remebering that this marriage should be your main focus.
Would he like you going out with the girls nightly...probably not but you probably would not like him going out with the guys nightly either. You can still do these things, just pick out particular nights each week for just the girls or just the guys.
You are free to do whatever you want. You only need to keep in mind that there are consequences for your actions and in a marriage, it will affect both of you.

Answer 3

You don't own each other, for sure. However... by getting married you are making a commitment to each other. I'm Christian and the Bible tells me "the two become one flesh".

I take that to me that you are accountable to each other and there is definitely a level of respect and appreciation that is expected.

You wouldn't want him to go out every night with the guys, and he wouldn't want you to go out every night with the girls. If either of you want this, OR don't care if the other one does this, then there is an issue within the marriage.

But, it is understandable to want some time to "be yourself". My wife is on a bowling league and she goes once a week to hang out with her friends from work and have some fun. I know the approximate time she'll be home and if she's going to be much past that I get a courtesy call. I enjoy going to ball games with my friends - I let my wife know about when I'll be back and I also give a courtesy call when I'm running late.

I love my wife, I owe her the respect to be home at a reasonable hour and to let her know daily that I love and appreciate her. We do our own thing sometimes but we always make sure that the other knows we are still "one flesh" and I want the same from her...

Answer 4

No, neither of you owns the other. You aren't property. If you want to go out nightly with the girls, he may not like it, but you certainly can do it. Of course, being free to do whatever you want, especially if you don't take his feelings into consideration, may have consequences. For example, he is free to divorce you. But ownership? No.

Answer 5

It's not merely "ownership", it's "selfless giving" of one's self TO the other.

It is a promise, committment and trust that each other GIVE themselves TO each other.

While here in the U.S., you cannot "own" another individual, the rights, attentions, pleasures and meeting needs are for each other's spouse.

Being "free to do whatever" is an unhealthy sign that there are some deep issues of trust not there or broken.

It's about each other pleasing the other. Meeting the other's needs. Each giving not 50%, but 100%. That's marriage. That's love.

Answer 6

NO you are considered one in the eyes of God. You are never a slave to someone your not a car. I think your husband is just saying you are not his property and has no right to tell you what you can and cannot do within reason it would come down to your decisions in life that you make. He is telling you this is your life he is just happy you chose him to be a part of it.

You husband sounds like a nice guy and is giving you the space you deserve but also expects you to behave and rationalize your actions in your marriage and with him and your friends.

I would not be happy if my wife did this night after night you should be home spending time together,

God Bless and Best Wishes. and too many more years of marriage bliss.

Answer 7

marriage does not mean ownership of a person. as far as i can tell, slavery and owenership of another human went out with the civil war in this country. anyways, marriage is a committment and a bond of trust. i love my fiance and i trust her. even after marriage she will have the freedom of choice to do whatever she chooses but she chooses to act on those choices by dealing with any and all consequences which pertain to those decisions. if she wanted to go out with her friends nightly, then that is her choice but she will know that i would prefer she not go every night. if she slept with another man, then she will have to deal with the consequence of me leaving her and being an adulterous. we don't own our spouses.

Answer 8

I think marriage is a two way street. No one person ever owns the other. My wife will go out with her friends every now and then, just like I may go out with my guy friends every now and then. We trust each other, and I know that she would never cheat on me, just like I would never cheat on her. I think it's good for a married couple to do things on their own. Not necessarily every day, but you should be able to do things you want to do.

Answer 9

When you marry, you are no longer 2 seperate people, now you are one couple. Everything you do affects your partner.

Does the right arm own the left arm?
Does the left leg own the right leg?
No ownership. Just 2 parts of the whole.

Answer 10

No one owns the other...and you should be free to do whatever you want. By the same token, you should want to spend more time with him than your friends. Your priorities change as do the things that mean the most to you. You should naturally be able to do what you want... and it will naturally include him much of the time.