I had a one-night stand...discovered i'm pregnant...i think i'll abort...would it be right?!?

Question

i'm a 20 yr old woman. i met this guy at a party and we had a one-night stand. that was a month ago...i found out i'm pregnant last week. i'm still a uni student. i can't keep the baby...but abortion is a sin according to my religion...should i inform the father? this is so hard for me...my parents would be very upset if they get to know. please help me out.

Answer 1

This is very hard for you to deal with alone. You should speak to someone that you can trust.

I dont think its necessary to inform the father.. he knew the risk when he had unprotected sex with you. Of course, many people will disagree with me, but if this will cause you undue hardship, dont tell him. However, if you think he was a decent guy, you should tell him, so you do not carry this burden alone.

No one on this board has any right to tell you not to have an abortion. This is your life and your decision. Do not let them force their own opinions on you.

Answer 2

You know....this is a very difficult decision. You have 3 options :
1) have the baby and adopt it out
2) Abortion
3) Keep the baby and ALL that it comes with...a lifetime decision, no doubt

I have had at least 3 or 4 girlfriends, when they were in high school, got pregnant and aborted the pregnancies and go on and get married and have 3 plus children.....do they ever regret doing what they did? I dont know...but surely once you have the experience of having a child, it certainly does affect what you think about abortion.
Me? I never thought about it too much...until I went thru SO much to get pregnant...and then when I finally did, the miracle of life and how precious it is, truly overwhelmed me. And now, I couldnt imagine it....abortion, that is.

My mother....got pregnant in High school, and if abortion were an accepted thing at the time, I wouldnt be here. She lived with her parents for the first few yrs until she married....it wasnt a dream life, because she was thrown into being a parent before she was allowed to grow up. She doesnt regret having me, of course, now my mother says I'm the best thing that has happened to her.

If you chose to keep the baby...Just know there will be sacrifices...the baby's needs will always come before you and you will need to have an adequate support system, like your parents or extended family. You may need to work and finish school, but alot of single moms do and it is not impossible....you just have to be determined to get thru it for the 2 of you.

Now...the adoption route would be a good one, I think....Give the baby to a warm loving family....and perhaps when the child gets of a deciding age...you can meet them...and know you did the right thing.

I think....out of responsibility, you should tell the father...maybe after you have had some time to sort thru all your options. Maybe, he might help you make a decision...if he chooses to support you....that could be a deciding factor in whether you choose adoption or to keep it. I think maybe you should expect that you have to deal with this on your own....and hopefully, eventually the support of your parents....if the father decides to be involved, then it would be a bonus.

No doubt....alot of very difficult choices lie ahead for you...but just think...this is a defining moment for you....you will look back on this time and hopefully it will feel in your heart that you made the best decision at the time. If you still need some guidance try to see if you can talk to a counselor at planned parenthood....my best to you during this time.

Answer 3

It is your decision to make, and one that you will have to live with for the rest of your life. You are really the only one who can say if it is right for you or not. Personally, I would not get an abortion. You had sex, and you knew pregnancy was a possibility. I would put the baby up for adoption. I think you should inform the father too. It is his child and he should know about it. Plus, he is financially responsible for the baby. I know it is hard, but you should tell your parents. They may be upset, but you are 20 years old, not still in high school. They can really help you through this if you will let them.

Answer 4

ok let me ask you this would you be able to live the rest of your life knowing that you killed a baby a peice of you i was 18 when i found out i was pregnant was so close to getting a abortion that i was on the abortion table and then i couldnt do it and now i just turned 20 and i am a proud parent of a baby boy who i love and yes i do admit that i sometimes think about how i was about to kill him by aborting him but i am so glad that i didnt and yes me and the father are married we married sept of last year well good luck please dont abort it if you cant take care of it which i know you can cause i did at 18-19 years old and i was a college student as well then please put it up for adoption cause there are alot of good people who want a baby and cant have one but if you do abort it then please dont have sex again until your married because that is not fair to your unborn child who's a part of you and think of it this way this child that your carrying is a part of your family his your blood line meaning the blood that runs through his vains comes from you and your grandma and great grandma now woudl you really want to kill a part of your family just cause you dont want to be responsible for that life so i think you should contact the father and really think about what you want to do cause if you do abort it you will have guilt and you will wonder if it was a boy or girl what would you name it what would he look like so that is all the help i can give you and yes you can raise this child i did it when i was 2 years younger then you good luck

Answer 5

This decision will affect the rest of your life. Don't kid yourself this is never an easy decision. You will be haunted by an abortion. Every baby you see and especially when one day you have your own baby you will wonder if you made the right decision. On the other hand someone once told me that if the mom is not okay the baby won't be okay either. Search your heart and decide what is best for you and what you can live with. Get some help and find some support. Wishing you the best.

Answer 6

You are old enough to know that you are taking a risk every time you have sex. If you decide to keep the baby, it would be in the best interest to inform the father one way or another to get some kind of help when the child is born. If you decide to have an abortion, it's not really necessary to tell. I, personally have had an abortion and I will never forgive myself for it. I was 16 at the time and if I had known what some doctors do when they abort the child, I never would have stepped foot into the clinic. Do what you think is right, no one else can speak for you, your body or your future.

Answer 7

This is where you go into a room, shut the door, and think about living for the rest of your life with the results of your decision. Play it out like a novel -- look at yourself 1, 5, 10, 20 years from now with any decision you make. It has to be your decision. Remember, whatever advice you get from people, it will be based on their needs, not yours, and they will not be there to help you later on. Also remember that the father has a responsibility to any baby that may be born, depending on the state you live in. Good luck!

Answer 8

You have a responsibilty to tell the father, it took two to make the baby, he has some say. If you don't agree with abortion and you aren't ready for a baby then I suggest you start looking into adoption. There are thousands of couples out there that can't have children that would make great parents.

You made a mistake, you already know that no one has to tell you, but not it is time to think about what is best for YOUR child. You learn from your mistakes, move on & grow up.

Answer 9

You definentily should NOT abort the baby.
You made your bed, you should lay in it.
It is called responsibility. If you really think you can't handle being a mother, then adoption would be the best choice.
The baby didn't ask you to lay down with this man, it should be able to live.
Prior to me coming to Christ, I had 2 abortions and they were the worst choices I ever made, you would regret it, trust me.I am now blessed with 2 children and 1 on the way with my wonderful Husband. A babies heartbeat starts at 6 weeks. That makes it a soul, a life.
If you are grown enough to have sex, you are grown enough to have the baby.
Next time you decide to give yourself away to a boy you do not love and isn't your husband you will think about it.
Sure, your parents will be upset because they love you, but it is already done.
DO the right thing.
God Bless and God Speed....

Answer 10

Adoption is always an option. If you are careful, your parents might just think you are 'putting on weight' and you can hide it, if that is your wish. I was only 17, and a Senior in High School, when I was pregnant with my daughter, and I was SURE my Mom would kill me. There is not absolute reason to abort, when there are other options (considering your religion). If you do not wish to inform the father, that is your choice. But, if you continue your pregnancy, whether or not you keep the baby or choose adoption... remember in all fairness that if the pregnancy continues without abortion, the child is his too. Maybe he wants the child, and you won't have to put the child up for adoption. If you get up enough guts, maybe you can tell your parents and they won't be as mad as you think? There are SO many other options if you don't want to go against your religion.

Then again, abortion is a woman's right, it is your body, and doing what you choose is only your business, no one else's.

~For those of you telling this poor woman that this is her 'consequence...' you should think before you speak. A child is NOT a consequence! What if she chooses to keep the child, and you've told her it was a CONSEQUENCE?! Think before you chat people, life can come in many different ways!!! How could you be so rude and disrespectful?

Answer 11

Inform the guy, he has a right to know. As to what he will do, who knows.....but it's half his responsibility.

Your are 20 and an adult...you are having sex, act like an adult. You dont' "have to tell your parents".

Educate yourself on all of your options. Abortion is not your only choice. There are many many options. I have a very strong opinion about this, but I can't judge dude. In the end, it is your decision.

Be very cautious about certain decisions, especially when they are life changing.