how are financial responsibilities fairly decided if the incomes are very different between couples?

Question

my boyfriend and i are buying a house next year. he makes six times what i do. how do we decide what fair contributions are?

Answer 1

I agree with Rhonda. Get married.

Otherwise, it depends on whether you two are going into this venture as roommates or as a couple. Without the benefit of marriage, it's typically best to view it as a roommate situation.

You could base your contributions on percentages. If you make 1/6 of what he does, then you'd pay 1/6 of the bills. That way you're both making an equal sacrifice to cover the financial responsibilities, but realize that this method doesn't always work long term. Figuring the percentages for each bill every month gets tedious, and the person paying more money tends to feel used, taken for granted or entitled to more power in the relationship.

You could agree to cover certain bills each month. For example, he pays the mortgage and electricity. You pay for the gas and phone, and you two split the cost of food.

Perhaps you can pad your contribution to the household by agreeing to do a larger part of the everyday chores: laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc. Those are things that should be viewed as valuable, too.

Answer 2

I have seen people get into arrangements like this and it can lead to legal problems if you dissolve your relationship. If I were you I would consult an attorney first and maybe have a legal agreement written with regards to the house and who pays what. That way it is in black & white and will hold up in court. Don't sell yourself short because he doesn't want to do this. He could leave your holding the bag and if you can't pay it can ruin your credit and life financially for a long, long time.

Answer 3

Now it's time for those fractions you learned in grammer school. You do percentages. The only problem is that if you do it as partners then you are contributing less. Of course if
you are the primary cook and bottle washer , then you have to attach values to what you do. One of the reasons why the partner thing can be difficult. Better everybody throws everything into the pool. Good Luck.

Answer 4

Don't buy a house with a man unless you're married first. But, since you're probably not going to heed this advice, if you're going to have that house be half yours and half his then you have to come up with YOUR HALF of the down payment regardless of what he makes. This way, if your relationship breaks up, it is half yours fair and square, but I would make sure to see an estate attorney and get your interest protected. You two can have a contract stating that what you put into the house is what you get back if something goes wrong between the two of you. Protect yourself, girl! Good luck!

Answer 5

I would never make such a huge purchase without being married! If you are married and something happens you are protected under law.

If you insist on buying a house and he makes so much have him buy it. Maybe you can contribute a little bit for the monthly mortgage (think of it as rent). If you do get married then the house is half yours and you should get your name on the legal papers.

If he is asking you for half of the mortgage, makes 6 times as much as you and does not want to get married he is not thinking long term.

Answer 6

First of all never buy a house as bf and gf get married it is just way more secure and well more safe for both of you and your money. Once your married there is no more mine everything becomes our's. Like joint bank account's etc.
Really in most marriages the man makes more money it is quite normal.

I cannot express to you the importance of not getting into a financial burden like a mortgage with someone who is just your BF get hitched then get a house period!

Answer 7

Get married or the financial obligations should be split down the middle, just because he makes more does not mean he pays more. If he does then he will own a larger percentage of the house and its equity if you ever sell or take out a second loan, but put it in writing from lawyer.

Good Luck and I hope this works for the two of you because if it doesn't it could get ugly.

Answer 8

Whoa, now.

First and foremost, I would never, EVER buy a house with someone I wasn't married to. There's no security there at ALL. What happens if you break up? There's nothing to protect you, and nothing that will legally entitle you to any part of the property.

Don't worry about fair contributions. Worry about making a huge mistake.

Answer 9

Rhonda T is right on, don't get locked in financially with someone with whom you're not married. If your boyfriend loves you and you love him get married. This way the law will recognize what is equitable between you. Before getting married you should discuss how much each will contribute to the family. If he expects you to work and have children, you should REALLY think hard before getting locked in with him. The male should provide for his family. If he doesn't want to care for you believe me, you are better off without him.

Answer 10

If you want to buy a house with your boyfriend...you should get married...Then put ALL the money that you both make into a joint checking account and pay the bills from that account....quit with the non sense "of my money and your money"...think that is where a lot of problems start....