Two sucessful, financially viable professional adults decide to live together after 2 and 1/2 years of seriously dating. Neither of them are in a rush to get married, but marriage talk have been done several times. They're both in their early 30's and have discussed the possibility of getting married within 2-3 years. They are both looking forward to the next step by living together as they have both maintained separate households until now.
What are the pros and cons of cohabitation?
Will routine make the relationship stale?
Is she worrying too much?
2007-11-28 03:34:31 · 7 answers · asked by Yoda Y 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Added: Not a situation in which the woman is shacking up with the hopes of getting married "someday", they just want to live together first before getting married. There is no need/desperation for marriage for financial/emotional/legal issues and they are both financially sucessful.
2007-11-28 04:09:51 · update #1
Thabk you for your thoughful answers. To answer to your questions, the reason why it has been decided to move in is due to career demands in which one must relocate out of state more than 1000 miles away.
2007-11-28 04:12:42 · update #2
pros:
-easier financial dealings if you combine accounts.
-cheaper rent
-you learn whether or not you work well living together
cons:
-you're giving him all the benefits of marriage without marriage. he might see this and figure, why bother? but i think this applies more to younger people.
-relatives or friends who think it's "immoral," but you should do what's right for you, not what your family thinks.
-if your first year is tough, one member may think, "well, we're not married, we can just separate and be done with it," instead of having marriage as a barrier and facing problems.
p.s., all marriage is is a piece of paper, in the end. routine, inside or outside marriage, will make your relationship "stale." the romance will die. the trick to being successful, in cohabitation or marriage, is to find out how to excite your partner, and make sure all involved know they are loved and not taken for granted.
2007-11-28 03:54:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If routine makes the relationship stale, then so would marriage. So, you can take that as a pro -- you will know whether living together makes the relationship stale.
Not being a mind reader, how would anyone know if she was worrying too much? Your question asks questions, but states no worries whatsoever.
I think the biggest pro is financial -- it's a lot cheaper for two people to live together than the combined cost of living separately.
As for cons, some people believe that living together without marriage is immoral. I only agree with this if you are not currently involved sexually.
2007-11-28 11:41:42 · answer #2 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has a right to worry. If you're living together, you're acting like a married couple already without any of the benefits or security that comes with it. Plus, when you do tie the knot, what will change? What freshness and newness will there be, other than a piece of paper binding you legally? You may also never get that commitment of marriage because one or both of you might get cozy and say "We get along so well together as is, so why do we need that piece of paper?"
You can really get to know someone by living with them, but that can be a pro or con depending on the situation. I would be very careful. What is wrong with things the way that they are now? Living seperately until you tie the knot isn't a bad thing at all. And why wait 2-3 years? If cohabitation is really the same thing as marriage in the long run---then why not get married sooner? Chances are if after 2.5 years of serious dating you're not ready for a lifetime commitment, you won't be ready in another 3 years. Either you know it for certain by now, or you don't, and if you don't then you are both wasting your time. Good luck to you!
2007-11-28 11:39:13 · answer #3 · answered by Marina 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The only thing that makes a relationship stale is the people - when they no longer work at maintaining a happy relationship. Any relationship has to be worked at - bf/gf, cohabitation, or marriage.
Some of the pros are splitting finances which allows saving, getting to know who the other person is 24/7, and being together all the time.
Cons: you might lose all your closet space, you could find out that the other is slob or has really bad habits, and you may become overly comfortable and forgo marriage altogether.
2007-11-28 11:43:04 · answer #4 · answered by Susie D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are asking what are the pros and cons of cohabitation,and not how wonderful will it be to wake up next to someone you love,maybe you should reconsider.
2007-11-28 11:54:22 · answer #5 · answered by ali 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no cons at all from where i stand. only pros.
2007-11-28 12:26:38 · answer #6 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it does not work ! don't do it.. there is no commitment or respect.
2007-11-28 11:50:45 · answer #7 · answered by rodriguez m 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋