i'm a 19 yr old girl...i got a scholarship for this university and had to move in to this new country. i wouldn't be getting formal hostel accomodation for another 3 months. so i just started sharing an apartment with this guy (he's senior to me at the uni)...i had no other choice. we wanted to keep it platonic but things happened. we don't love each other.....we r from two different races and don't stand a chance. today i found i'm pregnant. what do i do? i can't keep the baby...but abortion makes me feel sick. please temme what to do...i can't tell my parents or anyone here.......please help me......
2007-11-28 03:12:05 · 47 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
If you find abortion abhorrent and you can't or don't want to keep the baby yourself, then the only option left to you would be adoption. I'm sure that you can relinquish custody of the child at the hospital; it would be given straight over to a foster agency or orphanage. Alternately, many countries have pre-birth adoption option agencies...look in your phone book or contact a social services office and ask for help. They would much rather see the baby go to a good home than to find it in a dumpster.
2007-11-28 03:17:03 · answer #1 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My sister had an abortion once that hit her pretty hard. In all honesty if she had gone ahead and had the child her life would be a great deal different than it is now, and I'm not entirely sure for the better. I still suggest going through with the birth and giving the child up for adoption, but I've seen the turmoil that a girl can go through and I will say that ultimately this a decision for you to make, just don't go to some back alley doctor if you decide to go through with it.
2007-11-28 03:17:43 · answer #2 · answered by Mic K 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honestly that decision has to be talk over with your roommate also.
Now answer yourself this... Is it the right time to get an abortion... is it a good moment yet...
By any means could you handle a baby while going to school...
i mean sacrifices can be made, but what ever your choice is dont look down but look upwards and have faith that everything is going to be alright.
If you decide to keep the baby you will need support from each other and you might just like the feeling of being a mom (bright side your kid will be american)
2007-11-28 03:22:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough call, but I think you would probably do better in the long run by ending it now. Head down to Planned Parenthood ASAP because the longer you wait, the more difficult it will be. If you can keep it down to a saline injection, that is much better.
On the practical end of things: having it would probably put you behind by a year, and you would lose financing or scholarship money.
You can't take care of what would be "a permanent reminder of a temporary feeling" right now, and you would have to file for child support AND get assistance from the state. This is not what you are in college to work towards.
It would be best to stay on track right now... complete your education, get your career started, and marry someone who will be around for you.
Given that the kid would be mixed, you may have difficulty getting an adoption lawyer to take the case for placement... but you can try that route if it feels better. The adoptive family would pay all your medical bills. You would still be out a year.
From a spiritualist perspective... the soul only visits briefly while in the womb. The soul does not bond with the new body until AFTER birth.
In summary... I think it is better to learn from the mistake and go for the RESET and do things RIGHT the next time.
2007-11-28 03:29:37 · answer #4 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hello Cherry, I can't imagine how you are feeling but I applaud you in knowing how terrible abortion is. There are many things you can do. There are places where single mothers can go to have a healthy pregnancy and you would learn how to care for the baby after birth. There is also adoption which is also a great choice. Talk to your parents though, I don't know them but I'm sure they love you. Also at most schools there are therapists who are required to keep everything confidential, I suggest you talk to them since it sounds like you could use a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen. Good luck and God Bless!
2007-11-28 03:19:10 · answer #5 · answered by Sierra 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
First of all take a deep breath. You need to understand that no one can make this decision for you and if they try to they're wrong for doing so. I say that because the decision is going to affect your life the most because it's your body that's going to carry this baby for nine months or if you chose to have an abortion your mind and body is going to have to heal from that. You need to think about what is important to you and think about possible outcomes of the decision you choose to make. It doesn't matter if you love him or not you have a baby inside of you that is his. If he is going to be mad at that then he's wrong because he should of thought about the consequences of his actions. Remember that you shouldn't do anything that's going to make you unhappy. Just make sure when you make the decision you're very sure about it. If you really can't make up your mind you should read the bible and I promise that it will make you feel better about making the right decision. God bless you.
2007-11-28 03:31:23 · answer #6 · answered by jazzy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry to hear about your situation. But my personal opinion is do not abort. it is also my faith that will not support that. You need to see what your other choices are. Would you consider keeping the baby? Or adoption? I was a single mom for a long time and I had my son at a very young age and was totally not ready. But I had some help from the government (financial assistance and medical assistance). I had help from friends and slowly I got on my feet, got a job, went to school and it took time but I no longer need any financial assistance or medical insurance. I can do this on my own now. See, help is out there to help you get yourself out of things like this. You just have to use it for what it was intended. Hope this helps. But this is not the end of your life just a path you wasn't expecting to cross. You can do this. Believe that.
2007-11-28 03:21:12 · answer #7 · answered by G 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm nineteen as well, and I'm actually eight weeks pregnant. So I can relate to you for the most part. My family is very Christian, so obviously I couldn't tell them. The guy was my boyfriend, but we still weren't ready. It's all about being ready. And it's not up to everyone else. I went to Planned Parenthood yesterday and they are so nice there. I can't stress that enough. They told me about all of my options, they went through the processes, and answered all of my questions. Even if you decide against it, I suggest you go there and talk to them about it. I'm very pro-choice. And I think that nobody should have their say in what you do with YOUR body. I'm getting one. And I have no regret. Sure, it makes me feel a little sick, but I stand by my decision. I know it's what I want to do. There's plenty of people in the world. If abortion was that wrong, it wouldn't be. They told me yesterday in statistics that the majority of people against abortion are male, against it because of their religion, etc. And there's plenty of people doing abortions. With all of the abortions done in the US per year, it's enough for every woman here to have one. Which is disturbing, but goes to show that not everyone is against it. I don't think that made sense, but hopefully you understand. Good luck with your decision. If you have any questions, feel free to email me. mcn9995@yahoo.com.
“No woman wants an abortion as she wants an ice cream cone or a Porsche. She wants an abortion as an animal caught in a trap wants to gnaw off its own leg.”
— FREDERICA MATHEWES-GREEN
2007-11-28 03:17:23 · answer #8 · answered by Trixie 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Dear Mom and Dad,
I know this is going to upset you, but some things should never be kept secret between parents and children. I know you have high expectations for me, and I really want to make you proud of me. So, please reflect back on your own youth and try to forgive me for being young and dumb.
I messed up and got pregnant. We don't love each other and there is no possibility of marriage. I don't believe in abortion and won't consider it. Adoption is an option; however, I need help getting through this pregnancy and not compromise my education because of my indiscretion. I love you and I know you love me. Please help.
2007-11-28 03:20:06 · answer #9 · answered by RT 66 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
do whatever is right for you.what do you want to do some people would say this early the baby would only be tissue you got your whole life ahead of you but people can't tell you to or not to have an abortion i know what i would do to be honest with you i would have an abortion but that is me.maybe you can have the baby finish school and have help from your parents bringing up the baby if you do decide to keep it it will take alot of your time make sure this man pays you child if you want an abortion tell him to find a place and pay for it and take you there to be with you that is the only way you are going to have the abortion make him pay for it and set the appointment up.support and helps with the baby what is he telling you to do o i know you don't have to tell me he telling you not to have it you better think long and hard about this one you might be throughing your colledge down the drain your dreams and everything that goes with it might have to go on welfare to support you and the baby just make sur it was the right desition for you and you only mistakes happen just make sure it doesnt happen again.you have alot to think about make sure you think long and hard what you will be giving up all your dreams you can always have it if you wanted and give it up for adoption this way later in life the child or you can find eachother dont put all this on yourself are you talking to this man about all of this he should be there for you whatever desition you make my best to you.
2007-11-28 03:31:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋