what do you do with a friend such as this one?

Question

i have a friend that i met at the beginning of this school year which was august 27, 2007. ouyr friendship is on and off. we go everywhere together including shopping, smoking, drinking, school, other friends houses, etc. my main thing with her is just the fact that when my other friend decides to take me to the movies and she cant go she gets mad at me and starts toi say that iam starting to leave her out. it's bad enough my mother does not like and does not want me hanging out with her as it is because she is 18 and i am almost 17. the problem with that is just the fact that she is legal and i am not so whatever she does that i can't do im automtically going to try and do it. littl edo i kno im eventually going to get in trouble because of trying to follow her. my thing right now is i continue to tell her that i dont want to hang otu with her anymore because every time i seem to get in trouble i seem to have been with her or it was because of her. what should i do and how do i say it

Answer 1

Your mom is right--this is not the kind of friend you should have. You've only known her a few months and she's already influencing you in a bad way. Smoking and drinking at 17 will lead you down the wrong road. You will end up in trouble if you continue to hang out with this girl.

Plus, you don't need a friend that makes you feel bad for having more friends than just her.

Answer 2

It has been difficult to read your e-mail but what I am getting is
a) you have a friend that doesn't like you hanging out with other people
b) This friend is older then you and is of legal drinking age and you are not. The type of things you do together are things where if you were caught you would be in trouble and she wouldn't
c) you dont' want to hang out with her anymore because trouble happens when you are with her.

You can have as many friends are you want and she cant' say who you can and can't hang out with. If she can't go that shouldn't stop you from being with other friends. It sounds like she is jealous of you being friends with other people. She is going to have to live with that we all don't just have one friend.

Tell her straight out that if she wants to be your friend then she has to respect the fact that you are not of legal age and can't go all the places she wants to go. You are your own person and can say "No". Don't blame her for getting you in trouble. You made the choices. Perhaps you felt pressure from her but you are your own person with making your own decisions. Tell her if she wants to remain friends she has to respect that there are things she wants to do that you will not be able to participate in.

Answer 3

First of all you need to look out for yourself. Sounds like your mother is trying to do the right thing from keephing you two apart if you guys are always getting into trouble. Trust me, the past will catch up w/ you in the future! If she is a true friend she wouldnt' be getting you into trouble!

Answer 4

This is not a good personality, or person, to be with.
She is a jealous, insecure person.
She will "strangle" and "suffocate" you with her need for attention!
She will push away your friends and family.

You will start not liking yourself, because you can't tell her no!Listen to your mom.
Listen to YOURSELF. I can see how you are feeling, just by reading your question!

You are going to have to stand tough and completely cut her off. Don't give her an "opening" to get back in. It's not easy, especially if you are a nice or shy person.
You can always have your parents tell her...as in, "She is not 18, legal age, and we are not going to let her be friends with you."
OR you can tell her that they said that...so it won't be so hard.
Good luck.
I have been there, and my daughters have been there! It's tough, but it's tougher later!

Answer 5

Aw!
That sounds so harsh....
why can't you balance this in both ways: see her, but use your 'brains' (your mother's brains is the best brains in life! you realise after you have gone older!) - but also don't hurt her just in case one day you both mature better and realise that you are not that bad friends together. She likes you, and it's lovely to be loved by friends. You keep strong and make your own decision of what you want to do in life and what you don't want. See her in simple things, but tell her that your own life is your life, and you don't want to be her 'pappet' and doing same things. Tell her if she likes you, to respect you of what you want to do in your life. At the same time, try to see your other friend without the whole finding out. Try to judge maturely and share it with your mother so she can give you good openions. the end of the day, she is the best friend in your life, you will realise it one day, not yet though... just enjoy being young and keep smiling!

Answer 6

Just tell her she is a bad influence because you are a follower not a leader. I can't seem to say no when I know I am going to get into trouble.

Answer 7

Just be honest and say you have no interest in a friendship any longer which seems to get you in trouble!

Answer 8

if you want to continue the friendship, it's ur own choice. if u want to terminate it, it's also ur own choice, ur own freedom. so do as you deem fit.

Answer 9

yeah... your mom is right... stay away from her...