I refuse to have my baby's father in delivery room?

Question

Please tell me if this is wrong.
I am 8 months pregnant, and have made the decision that I do not want my daughter's father in labor and delivery. Actually, I plan on not even telling him when I go into labor.
We broke up about 2 months ago, we've had no communication with one another. His family does not call to check on me or the baby. And he provides absolutely no support.
However, over the weekend, I was admitted for vomiting and dehydration, one of his relatives who works at the hospital, informed them that I was there...he showed up very worried and concerned. Which I knew he was being fake and phony because he's guilty of many things. Shortly after, about 8 of his relatives show up in my room with the same concern, but also with negative vibes. They were already making comments about how the room would be crowded when I go into labor, and he said the nurse would have to bring another bed.
Can I give the nurses station specific instructions on who i want there and do not?

I also thought it was very disrespectful for all of them to show up, half of them I do not even know very well.
I just find it very disgusting that he very well doesn't give a shyt and is very irresponsible when it comes to this baby and his other kids...i refuse to have him show up like he is father of the year.
I was planning on informing them of the baby's birth about a week after we come home...even then, I do not want them around us. Is this wrong?

Answer 1

Yes, you can be very very specific on who you want in your room and who you don't want there. Be prepared, it might be a ugly scene and more than likely security might have to be called. Also, if all of this does happen, find out exactly who is in charge of the relative that works for the hospital. One would assume there is some sort of confidentiality thing that would be breeched.

No, I don't think you're wrong. Like you said, you don't have a close relationship with them. Plus the father doesn't really sound like he's going to be involved in this childs life. So if you only want kind, loving, supportive people around you, then so be it.

Answer 2

You are not in a relationship with your baby's father so therefore it isn't wrong that you don't want him to be in the delivery room with you. I'm sure if you give the nurses specific instructions on who is allowed in the room with you they should obliged by it. Besides most hospitals only allow a certain number of people in there anyways. You might already thought of wanting your own parents, or other family members beside you so therefore there wouldn't be any room for the outsiders.

Answer 3

You don't have to have your baby's father there with you. And yes, you can inform the nurse's station that you specifically don't want these people there. But maybe you should think about maybe having someone else in labor with you. I can't imagine going in there alone.

Yeah. But please!!! You don't need no phony man just showing up out of the blue to smile for the camera and just disappear again. I don't care if he said he hates your guts!!! If he wanted to be involved, he should at least call you to see how you and HIS unborn child are. He can't just show up like that and expect to be received warmly by you along with his family. They're the same. Even though yall are broken up. Doesn't mean they can't call.

So no! You are absolutely right in not wanting him there. I give you all right to kick his azz out the delivery room if he shows up.

Answer 4

Well, before I get to your question I just want you to know that if you know for sure that his relative told that family about you being at the hospital......he or she just violated a HIPPAA law providing for the privacy of partients at a hospital and will lose his or her's job for doing so. If I were you, I would seriously consider reporting that person. You have every right to not tell a soul about your stay in the hospital and it was wrong of them to share that information with anyone!

Now, your question.......you can determine who you want and don't want in your room during delivery. If shows up, you can say that you do NOT want him in the room and they will ask him to leave, and will call security if he refuses. Same goes for anyone in his family. I would have written down who you will alow there, and give that to a nurse once you get into your room. She will make sure to carry out your wishes.

Good luck!!!

Answer 5

You are entitled to have whoever YOU want in that room. If you only want to have Bill Clinton in there, so be it - everyone else, get the h@ll out. And I'm with just about everyone else here on the bf's relative issue as well - I don't necessarily think he/she needs to be fired, but you should file a complaint with the hospital demanding disciplinary action so they at least put him on a final warning and it scares him so much he won't dare risk losing his job when the real time comes. You will have already made it clear to the hospital staff that you in no way want your ex anywhere near your room nor will you or your family ever call him, so should he ever show up, everyone will know confidentiality was breached.

Answer 6

It is absolutly your choice to have whomever you want in the room during labor and delivery. It's going to such an emotional time and you need people in there who are going to support you through it and he and his family don't sound like they are the supporting types. Make sure you inform the nurses of your choice!! In my birthing class and hospital tour, the nurse told us that that is what they are there for, "crowd control". Most hospitals will only allow a certain number of people in the room for labor and delivery 2, sometimes 3. Find out the policy at the hospital where you plan on delivering. I hope you plan on having someone in there with you!! You are going to need to be supported. Make sure that all the nurses know you wishes and they will respect them. And if they don't, there will be a phone in your room, call security!! Good Luck to you!!

Answer 7

It is your choice who you have in delivery room. The hospital I went to actually had a limit to the # of people allowed in there anyway so his family can bite it on that one. However, I think it's a little vindictive of you to plan on not even telling him his baby his been born until you've been home a week. You may have your problems with him, but those are between the 2 of you. It is still his child & he deserves to know. What if something went wrong with you or the baby?? I just feel it's wrong to keep that from him no matter how hurt or angry you are towards him. You're both going to be this baby's parents, and you guys will have to learn to work through your differences and do what is best for the baby. Not what will make you feel good (hurting him).

Answer 8

Yes you can!! I am 38 weeks and when I did my preadmission they asked me if I wanted anyone who called or stopped by to be told that I was there and I said a big HELL NO!! You need to tell the hospital that his relative works there and make sure that they know that he and his family is not to be there. You have every right to not let him be there!! If they do show up then tell the nurses who you do not want in the room...let them be the "bad guy" for you!! Good Luck!! If all else fails call the police if he show up and throws a fit...that is what I will do!!

Answer 9

In the delivery room, you are BOSS. If you tell the nurses you want no one in the room but the medical personnel, they will keep everyone out. Just make sure they know ahead of time. When you get home, you can do the same. The father does have rights, however, and if he contacts a lawyer you may need to give visitation with the baby to him. If he has provided no financial or emotional support this may be in your favor, but I would contact a lawyer about this ASAP. Good luck and congratulations on your little one.

Answer 10

I agree with you and cannot believe they were all that callous! You have every right to decide who you do and do not want in your room when you are in labor. Tell the nurses you do not want anyone in there, and ask them not to contact any family about you being in labor. Also, you should discus what happened with a hospital administrator. Without your permission, nobody working at that hospital is allowed to tell anybody that you are there. His relative who did so could be fired for it.